3. Name a totally useless possession and how you came to acquire it.

Okay number three. Okay I really shouldn't be posting because oh, wait, I have a PILE of stuff due tomorrow, but I'm doing a lunch gathering thing (hey, free food) and so I've got to finish at least most of it tonight and instead I've managed to make two of the excel graphs and take a break for Party Down. Related: I'm in love with Adam Scott. Don't worry about it. His Ben (Parks and Rec) persona is a bit more endearing than his Henry (Party Down) character, but regardless, his just general self is so precious. I want one, if only to carry around with me, like in my pocket. Tangentially related: I also want a Rory (Doctor Who).

But we're not here to talk about useful objects. We're here to talk about useless ones. Really, I have piles of useless objects. Thanks to only just recently moving here, I've more or less culled them from my belongings, but that doesn't mean they aren't still rotting over in Cleveland. But to be fair, that's a place where things ought to rot.

Anyway for whatever reason, the first thing that came to mind for this prompt is my Hawaiian dude. It's not that interesting of a story, but it's pretty utterly useless. It's this fat Hawaiian man holding a ukulele and looking completely joyous about it. He has a real grass skirt (okay well a real plastic grass skirt) under which he wears bikini shorts with Hawaiian flowers on it. Also it's hooked up with a spring in his waste, so he bobbles.

There is no point to him at all, but he's pretty funny.

I keep him on my shelf of "exotic" objects, which is mostly stuff people have brought me (or I have brought myself) from foreign countries. I have postcards from Barcelona and Dublin and Paris. I have a picture from Barcelona when I went and a wine glass from this boat I was on on the Rhine (it came with a litre-sized bottle of Riesling- only 3 euro!) and a shot glass from Ireland (probably a duty-free shop in Heathrow to be realistic, but okay) and a shotglass from the Philippines and also this little man in a barrel (also from the Philippines) that when you pull him out of his barrel has a boner pop out at you! So mature. Anyway so I figured Hawaii was exotic enough to count.

My roommate from my sophomore year, Joanna, bought that for me. She blew off syllabus week of Spring quarter that year with her sister to go to Hawaii for a week. Oh, to be a business major...

Anyway so that's the whole story. It's not that exciting, but to be fair, I didn't have a lot of time to write. Party Down is almost over and I really need to get back to work. So. There you go.