Ew. I'm so sick. We're talking "hanging-over-the-trash-can-but-not-for-my-vomit-but-rather-my-mucus" sick. I'm hacking and coughing and I feel exhausted even though I haven't had to do much today. But I can't sleep, I tried, but laying down causes all the mucusy delight to coagulate in my lungs and then I just feel like I'm suffocating. It's seriously awful.
Even though Katelyn maintains that I did not get it from her, I have heard her staying up at night coughing a little bit, so I know she plays a role. But I can't help but think that my own stress plays a part in it as well. That chem exam, for example, was brutal. My chem professor only got a 70% on it. Clearly, I did not do so hot. And I studied (read: crammed) forever for it. I mean honestly I was doing the reading at least a week in advance. I feel like I shouldn't have done SO terribly on it, but I did.
Then, of course, there's the emotional stress I have been forcing myself to go through. I don't know why I'm even bothering anymore, it's been well over two weeks and here I am, still... pondering. I think I just spend way too much of my time thinking and not enough time doing. And it's too late now, it's not like I'm going to do anything now. I've waited too long and I know it's too late and I don't know what I would do anyway, because I'm a stupid female who can't make decisions. Yeah, that's right, that's me.
I can't decide what to do about this illness even. I mean it's pretty bad, I've been coughing like this since forever- though I wasn't this bad before- and I don't know if it's just a cold that's wreaking havoc because I'm stressed and have a weak immune system or if there's something seriously wrong.
Blech I'm sick of this. I don't know how I feel about school almost being over. I don't want to leave here, but I need a break from the actual "school" thing. I think I'm going to shower and see if I feel okay enough to sleep.
Erg. I'm sorry.