Everyone, I'm sure, has their own personal version of what hell is. I don't really believe in hell, but it's fun... and by fun I mean sadistic a little bit... to imagine what it would be like when you go there. (Please not the "when" not the "if" in that sentence) Fire and brimstone do not really strike fear in me all that much. And physical torture, while annoying, isn't really that bad compared to psychological torture. Thus I have created a survey of what my hell would be like, should it actually exist.
Rather than always being hungry or rolling a rock up a hill, my personal hell would involve lots of chemistry. Lots and lots of it. It would kind of be like never leaving the power of Dr. Robert Tatz. My hell would consist of me essentiall doing lab 26 over... and over... and over again. With different unknowns everytime. My two options with this would be to either a) spend hours and hours and days on it in the boiling hot lab room 240, waiting eternally for the centerfuge, and looking up solubility constants in the big book, but eventually finding the correct compound, only to start all over again or b) half-ass it, get it wrong, and have to get lots of shots. In my arm. I'm not sure if in the wrist or the elbow would be worse. Maybe just one or the other if I only find one cation or anion, but both if I get the whole thing wrong. Anyway, during this lab country music will play. And probably just the same six or seven particularly obnoxious ones, so that they just drive me mad. They will be the ones about tractors and walmart. My lab partner will be Paris Hilton. Rachel Ray will be my TA. The only thing I will have to eat will be flank steak. And my phone will only be capeable of making outgoing calls to that girl in my English class with the annoying voice.
And that is my personal hell. Should you ever want to extract information from me, and getting me rediculously drunk isn't working for some reason, I recommend torturing me in this manner to learn what you want.
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