This isn't exactly a spoiler. It's just that when I read something as exciting as these books, I am always greatly affected, which is lame, because I'm not twelve years old anymore, but I like to write after anyway.
I really liked it, it was a good ending I think. A little hokey but you know what? It's a children's book, through and through, and I have to get over it. Besides it was an excellent way to draw conclusion to it. And if J.K. Rowling even tries to write more of these books, well, I'll probably aka definately be rather upset. I think it ended. Writing anymore would be an unnecessary sequal, as I see all these books grouped together as just one epic journey.
Anyway, in the end it was good and got me set to thinking that it's sort of like a big chapter of my childhood just ended, which is both depressing and inspirational. I no longer have Harry Potter books to look forward to, that's sad as all hell. But everything has to end, one day. So why not July 21st, right? Seems as good a day as any.
I'll have to re-read it. When I re-read the sixth one I realized I had vastly underappreciated it. And it's basically my new favourite. As much as I loved this one, I don't think it can ever really be my favourite because it's the end and I don't like good things to end. But maybe I'll get over that.
I hate how these books make me fool so jumbled. It's so silly of me.
But why fight it? I'll probably never feel like that again.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The Colour Purple*
It is obvious to anyone living in today's world that colours have a profound impact on the way we perceive our surroundings. However, few people know the origin of colour. Where did it come from? Who discovered it? When did it get discovered? It is a travesty that in today’s fast paced world we take colour for granted. The purpose of this essay is to briefly outline the origin of colour and to clear up some of the common misconceptions surrounding this phenomenon.
In 1856 the first step towards the discovery of colour was taken. Pierre Drisçon, a small-time Parisian photographer, was attempting to develop a photo of a croissant, and due to the contaminated water he used in his developing, he produced the first sepia photo. For almost three-quarters of a century, sepia was something of a novelty around the world, which only the rich could afford. With the rise of the middle class in the late 18th century, sepia became more available to the public, though its supply was limited in quantity, for modern sepia-producing techniques had not yet been developed.
The first colour discovered was the colour red. There is a lot of controversy surrounding who discovered it first, but a few things are known for sure. For one, though it was discovered by the Germans sometime in the late 1930s, it was the Soviets who capitalized on the discovery, which is why supporters of communism in the ‘40s and ‘50s were known as “reds.” Of course, during this time in history there was much rivalry between the Soviet Union and the United States, so United States scientists were eager to find another colour. In 1952 they hit jackpot, and discovered the colour blue. National excitement over this event spawned the use of the colour blue in the American flag, an icon which is still recognized today. The stars on the blue background were designed to represent America’s superiority over the dull red stripes of communism.
In the wake of the Cold War, many countries vied to be the next to find a colour. During the beginning of the second half of the century, colour was still a rarity, and black and white still reigned supreme. However, in 1956, it was found that blue could be harvested from the ocean, thus inciting a wave of scientists to discover new places to develop colour. In February 1957, a Bolivian scientist working in the US by the name of Felipe Jose Menendez accidentally discovered green while trying to harvest red from a tree. (This was before red was discovered in the bodies of almost all mammals) Soon after, a team of Chinese scientists found the colour yellow while analyzing a sand sample taken from the Mongolian desert.
After its initial burst of popularity in the 1950s, colour received a backlash from the public, particularly in America and Britain, where it was regarded as a tool of communist propaganda. In the liberal decade that followed, pop culture saw a backlash against the colourist movement of the earlier decade. One of the most famous examples of this is the Beatle’s “White Album,” which was intended to encourage a move back into the black and white of the past. Another such example is the Rolling Stones’ “Paint it Black,” which proclaims a similar message.
However, by the 1970s, colour was once again embraced by the nation at large, due in part to the wave of hallucinogenic drug usage, which helped scientists realize that the world had not yet experienced the full range of colours available. In 1973 a Welsh immigrant named Hubert VanLangderby discovered purple in the fields of New Jersey. The colour was extremely popular until the discovery of orange by a Tibetan Sherpa later that decade in 1976. Advances in technology helped scientists to realize that all basic colours had been discovered, so for the next fifteen years experiments were conducted in the use of hue and intensity. This directly resulted in the bright colours so popular in the eighties, and it is suspected that New Wave would not exist without the influence of colour, as is demonstrated by the popular song “She Blinded Me With Science,” a social commentary on the effect of colour on the last thirty or so years of human history.
In more recent years, a myriad of colours have been discovered with the help of computers, which can blend and adjust colours to create a large variety of hues. Research is still being developed in the area of colour, as little is understood about its origins. It is believed that if we can better understand where it comes from, we can perhaps predict where it is going. Scientists today are worried that global warming will result in a loss of colour, which today can be produced in mass quantities cheaply and efficiently. A growing part of the American market is dedicated to the preservation and expansion of the colour industry, which is becoming quite profitable in today’s highly colour-dependent world.
As efforts are made to understand what colour is, it is important to remember where it came from. The discovery of colour is relatively recent compared to better understood subjects such as chemistry and calculus. With the planet moving into the 21st century, perhaps colour can be better understood so that it continues to be exploited by future generations.
*this is in no way associated with Alice Walker's 1982 novel
In 1856 the first step towards the discovery of colour was taken. Pierre Drisçon, a small-time Parisian photographer, was attempting to develop a photo of a croissant, and due to the contaminated water he used in his developing, he produced the first sepia photo. For almost three-quarters of a century, sepia was something of a novelty around the world, which only the rich could afford. With the rise of the middle class in the late 18th century, sepia became more available to the public, though its supply was limited in quantity, for modern sepia-producing techniques had not yet been developed.
The first colour discovered was the colour red. There is a lot of controversy surrounding who discovered it first, but a few things are known for sure. For one, though it was discovered by the Germans sometime in the late 1930s, it was the Soviets who capitalized on the discovery, which is why supporters of communism in the ‘40s and ‘50s were known as “reds.” Of course, during this time in history there was much rivalry between the Soviet Union and the United States, so United States scientists were eager to find another colour. In 1952 they hit jackpot, and discovered the colour blue. National excitement over this event spawned the use of the colour blue in the American flag, an icon which is still recognized today. The stars on the blue background were designed to represent America’s superiority over the dull red stripes of communism.
In the wake of the Cold War, many countries vied to be the next to find a colour. During the beginning of the second half of the century, colour was still a rarity, and black and white still reigned supreme. However, in 1956, it was found that blue could be harvested from the ocean, thus inciting a wave of scientists to discover new places to develop colour. In February 1957, a Bolivian scientist working in the US by the name of Felipe Jose Menendez accidentally discovered green while trying to harvest red from a tree. (This was before red was discovered in the bodies of almost all mammals) Soon after, a team of Chinese scientists found the colour yellow while analyzing a sand sample taken from the Mongolian desert.
After its initial burst of popularity in the 1950s, colour received a backlash from the public, particularly in America and Britain, where it was regarded as a tool of communist propaganda. In the liberal decade that followed, pop culture saw a backlash against the colourist movement of the earlier decade. One of the most famous examples of this is the Beatle’s “White Album,” which was intended to encourage a move back into the black and white of the past. Another such example is the Rolling Stones’ “Paint it Black,” which proclaims a similar message.
However, by the 1970s, colour was once again embraced by the nation at large, due in part to the wave of hallucinogenic drug usage, which helped scientists realize that the world had not yet experienced the full range of colours available. In 1973 a Welsh immigrant named Hubert VanLangderby discovered purple in the fields of New Jersey. The colour was extremely popular until the discovery of orange by a Tibetan Sherpa later that decade in 1976. Advances in technology helped scientists to realize that all basic colours had been discovered, so for the next fifteen years experiments were conducted in the use of hue and intensity. This directly resulted in the bright colours so popular in the eighties, and it is suspected that New Wave would not exist without the influence of colour, as is demonstrated by the popular song “She Blinded Me With Science,” a social commentary on the effect of colour on the last thirty or so years of human history.
In more recent years, a myriad of colours have been discovered with the help of computers, which can blend and adjust colours to create a large variety of hues. Research is still being developed in the area of colour, as little is understood about its origins. It is believed that if we can better understand where it comes from, we can perhaps predict where it is going. Scientists today are worried that global warming will result in a loss of colour, which today can be produced in mass quantities cheaply and efficiently. A growing part of the American market is dedicated to the preservation and expansion of the colour industry, which is becoming quite profitable in today’s highly colour-dependent world.
As efforts are made to understand what colour is, it is important to remember where it came from. The discovery of colour is relatively recent compared to better understood subjects such as chemistry and calculus. With the planet moving into the 21st century, perhaps colour can be better understood so that it continues to be exploited by future generations.
*this is in no way associated with Alice Walker's 1982 novel
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Shackles?
[01] Do you still have feelings for your ex?
no way no how
[02] Have you ever been given roses?
nope
[03] What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
um Love Actually?
[04] How many times have you honestly been in love?
oh, zero
[05] Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
nope I don't really believe in the whole love thing at all
[06] Whats your current problem?
working I guess. And figuring out what I'm doing for the fourth of july
[07] Have you ever had your heart broken?
no indeed I haven't
[08] Your thoughts of online or long distance relationships ?
well I mean meeting a person online is one thing... having a relationship exclusively online is wierd. And long distance is okay but both people have to try
[09] Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend ?
unfortunately.
[10] Do you believe the statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater"?
I don't think so
[11] How many kids do you want to have?
maybe none. or none.
[12] What is your favorite color(s)
ummmm I dunno. orange. green.
[14]Do you believe you truly only love once?
I don't believe you truly love even once.
[15] Imagine you're 79 & your spouse just died, would you get re-married???
that's a wierd question. I don't know. a) I hope I don't live that long b) it depends on how young I feel I suppose
[16] At what age did you start noticing the opposite sex?
I dunno, probably not until High School to be honest. I just didn't care before then. Then after High School I also stopped caring.
[17] What song do you want to hear at your wedding?
I don't anticipate a wedding. But. If I had to pick a song. Photobooth and Wild Horses. Don't worry that they are both about a love not really being true.
[18] Do you know someone who likes you?
not anymore I think, and this comforts me
[19] Do you like anyone?
nope
no way no how
[02] Have you ever been given roses?
nope
[03] What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
um Love Actually?
[04] How many times have you honestly been in love?
oh, zero
[05] Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
nope I don't really believe in the whole love thing at all
[06] Whats your current problem?
working I guess. And figuring out what I'm doing for the fourth of july
[07] Have you ever had your heart broken?
no indeed I haven't
[08] Your thoughts of online or long distance relationships ?
well I mean meeting a person online is one thing... having a relationship exclusively online is wierd. And long distance is okay but both people have to try
[09] Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend ?
unfortunately.
[10] Do you believe the statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater"?
I don't think so
[11] How many kids do you want to have?
maybe none. or none.
[12] What is your favorite color(s)
ummmm I dunno. orange. green.
[14]Do you believe you truly only love once?
I don't believe you truly love even once.
[15] Imagine you're 79 & your spouse just died, would you get re-married???
that's a wierd question. I don't know. a) I hope I don't live that long b) it depends on how young I feel I suppose
[16] At what age did you start noticing the opposite sex?
I dunno, probably not until High School to be honest. I just didn't care before then. Then after High School I also stopped caring.
[17] What song do you want to hear at your wedding?
I don't anticipate a wedding. But. If I had to pick a song. Photobooth and Wild Horses. Don't worry that they are both about a love not really being true.
[18] Do you know someone who likes you?
not anymore I think, and this comforts me
[19] Do you like anyone?
nope
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Rx: 2 Testicles
Scrubs is the reason I'm not dead. And I've been working for seven days. That's a week. A week is nothing. There are fifty-two of them each year. And there are a lot of years in your life- less than average if you're lucky. And here I am bitching and moaning about just one of them. But it was such an AWFUL seven days. Granted, it's getting better. I know some of the people now, and I talk to people, and it only takes three years for the ten and a half hours to pass, not a decade. But still.
Today I came home, covered in lip gloss. Literally. It's smeared all over my shirt. I smell like strawberry limeade, but not real strawberry limeade, just whatever Bonne Bell decided stawberry limeade smells like. Which, by the way, is kool-ade. Just generic, kool-adey smell. There isn't anything specifically strawberry or limey about it. It's sort of fruity, sugary spell. I don't know. You would understand if you had to inhale it for so long each day. It never goes away, either. Its intensity wears off after the initial five minutes, but the essence of it hangs around all day. If you have the misfortune of having a smackers, everytime you reach into the box, you're hit with a new wave.
New wave, of course, would be a nice change. I like new wave. I do not like oldies. Let me clarify- I like oldies in moderation. I do not like them for 10.5 hours a day. If I hear Pretty Woman one more time I'm going to walk down ITS street. Earlier last week I was forced to endure a more modern compilation of songs, ranging from sappy pop (i.s. The Fray and Snow Patrol, who I usually enjoy, but the song Chasing Cars makes me want to get hit by said vehicle) to annoying (Avril Laviegn or however you spell her name) to outrightly suicidal contemporary pop (John Mayer and Howie Day, anyone?) I fully believe the only thing worse than what we endured then is Country. Oldies was actually a nice change for a while, but it's gone on too long. I want New Wave. Or alternative. Or death metal.
And on the topic of inhaling, today we did 9,000 sparkly pink bags. Strawberry Treats blaa blaa blaa. They are actually kind of cute, I have to admit- not as cute as yesterday's LSD bag, though. Regardless, they have glitter on them. I'm pretty sure someone just took the felt end of the bag and put it on top of a pan covered in a thick layer of shimmer dust, then lifted it up to enjoy the sparkly goodness. Well that's all well and good for the seven years olds who will pester their mothers into buying these things, but it's not so good for us. I'm pretty sure there's at least five pounds of glitter dust in my lungs. When doctors cut open someone like Ricky, they'll find tar. Anthony and Sarah are more likely to produce fiberglass from the clove cigarettes. Jack will probably have a hydroponics plant in his lungs. But I will have lungs coated in a three inch layer of sparkling, glittering, shimmering... shit.
Today I came home, covered in lip gloss. Literally. It's smeared all over my shirt. I smell like strawberry limeade, but not real strawberry limeade, just whatever Bonne Bell decided stawberry limeade smells like. Which, by the way, is kool-ade. Just generic, kool-adey smell. There isn't anything specifically strawberry or limey about it. It's sort of fruity, sugary spell. I don't know. You would understand if you had to inhale it for so long each day. It never goes away, either. Its intensity wears off after the initial five minutes, but the essence of it hangs around all day. If you have the misfortune of having a smackers, everytime you reach into the box, you're hit with a new wave.
New wave, of course, would be a nice change. I like new wave. I do not like oldies. Let me clarify- I like oldies in moderation. I do not like them for 10.5 hours a day. If I hear Pretty Woman one more time I'm going to walk down ITS street. Earlier last week I was forced to endure a more modern compilation of songs, ranging from sappy pop (i.s. The Fray and Snow Patrol, who I usually enjoy, but the song Chasing Cars makes me want to get hit by said vehicle) to annoying (Avril Laviegn or however you spell her name) to outrightly suicidal contemporary pop (John Mayer and Howie Day, anyone?) I fully believe the only thing worse than what we endured then is Country. Oldies was actually a nice change for a while, but it's gone on too long. I want New Wave. Or alternative. Or death metal.
And on the topic of inhaling, today we did 9,000 sparkly pink bags. Strawberry Treats blaa blaa blaa. They are actually kind of cute, I have to admit- not as cute as yesterday's LSD bag, though. Regardless, they have glitter on them. I'm pretty sure someone just took the felt end of the bag and put it on top of a pan covered in a thick layer of shimmer dust, then lifted it up to enjoy the sparkly goodness. Well that's all well and good for the seven years olds who will pester their mothers into buying these things, but it's not so good for us. I'm pretty sure there's at least five pounds of glitter dust in my lungs. When doctors cut open someone like Ricky, they'll find tar. Anthony and Sarah are more likely to produce fiberglass from the clove cigarettes. Jack will probably have a hydroponics plant in his lungs. But I will have lungs coated in a three inch layer of sparkling, glittering, shimmering... shit.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Fabulously Dull
1. Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
absolutely, it's a requirement if you're in any sort of sport
2. What's something you MUST do before you die?
go to Europe (again)
3. Are you single?
yup
4. What's one thing you will not eat?
meat
5. What color is your underwear?
purple and white
6. When is the last time you went out of state?
Over Christmas when I went to Chicago (which I am in vain trying to plan another trip out to)
7. Who was your last received call?
Caitlin finally called me back
8.Have you ever dranken milk straight out of the carton?
yup
9. Can you roll your tongue?
I can twist it but not roll it
10. Can you hula hoop?
nope it's a problem I've had forever
11. Have you ever crawled through a window?
hahahahaa omg yes back in eighth grade. Fond memories.
12. Was today better than yesterday?
um no not really.
13. Do you talk to yourself?
frequently
14. Would you jump off a bridge if your friends did?
I would probably be the one who started it
15. Ever went tanning?
yesssss skin cancer yum
16. Earrings or necklaces?
earrings
17. Do you party?
yes but not too much recently minus friday night
18. Are you mad at anybody?
just, you know, the world
19. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
yup all the time
20. What are you doing tonight?
considering suicide a few more times and then going to bed
21. What time is it?
9:56
22. Are you loud?
absolutely
23. What are you looking forward to?
September 15th
24. Do you watch Family Guy regularly?
regularly no but frequently I suppose
25. Have you ever watched a little kids show?
yes but I do that less now
26. What's your zodiac sign?
capricorn
27. Are you wearing socks?
no me no likey
28. What's your favorite smell?
this is stupid but I have this perfume I got when I was a little kid and I still have it and it's my favourite ever
29. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster?
w00t yeah!
30. What is the most expensive thing you have ever bought?
my coach purse
31. Do you care what others think about you?
yes and no. I want people to like me, but I want them to like me for me so I'm not going to be someone else to get them to like me.
-also: the black and white card on Adult Swim just said "stop blogging" and I laughed-
32. What do you do all the time in a car?
sing and text and think
33. Do you trust people easily?
not particularly
34. Do you follow college football?
um involuntarily
35. Favorite football team?
well I obviously have to say the buckeyes but really I don't care
36. Do you watch the Olympics?
no I never even know they're on
37. Do you have a favorite number?
eleven
38. Are you multitasking right now?
I guess I mean I'm kind of texting and then watching Futurama
39. Do you believe in karma?
no. It's a nice thought though, the idea of people getting what they deserve.
40. How was the weather today?
nice and cloudy and cool
50 ODD Things About You:
1. Where's your number one on your top 8?
I don't know who my number one is. I think everyone on my top eight is back in Cleveland though except Cait, who's in Chicago
2. What is your favorite possesion?
iPod
3. Do you own a gun?
nein
4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?
ummmmm. I really don't have anything to say
5. Do you get nervous before doctors appointments?
I get nervoud thinking about the doctor
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
icky icky icky
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
um whatever that animal sounds music is on Elaine's computer
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
water or coffee
9. Can you do push ups?
yeah but not that many
10. Is your bathroom clean?
ish
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
ummmm I don't really have a favourite.
12.do you take painkillers?
like candy. Only I don't like candy. And I do like painkillers
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
um incessant abuse and hatred.
14. Do you have A.D.D.?
not for real but sometimes
Who is in the house with you?
dad, mom, sparky, algernon
Who was the last person to IM you?
caitlin anne
Who are you thinking about now?
caitlin I guess because she was the answer to the last question, which by the way, have stopped being numbered
Who did you last talk to on the phone?
Caitlin I'm pretty sure that was already a question
Who was you favorite teacher?
either Mrs. Nameth my 8th grade math teacher or Mrs. Neville and Mrs. Handley
Who's birthday is next?
uhhhhhhh. Christ I don't know. Clarissa's is in August, so is Skoch's I don't know who's is first. I can't think of any July People.
Who was the last person you told you love them?
I don't know. I also don't really care.
Who's your favorite relative?
I like my cousin Andrea but I don't really talk to her
The Where's
Where do you go to school?
THE Ohio State University
Where do you live?
well for the next three months, here in Westlake, but after that, I'll be a resident of Columbus
Where is your phone?
in this chair somewhere
Where are your parents?
I couldn't care less
Where do you sleep?
sometimes in my room, sometimes down here in the basement.
Where do you shop the most?
absolutely Target
Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Christmas gift. I dunno where it's from, maybe Macy's, it's not from any stores
Where did you last take a car ride to?
Jack's house? Well that's the last I drove to. I last was driven to Parma. EW.
Where in your house are you?
Basement
The What's
What was the last thing you ate?
lobster
What was the last thing you drank?
water
What color pants are you wearing?
jean coloured jeans
What kind of cell phone do you have?
um some verizon one
What is the closest item near you that is blue?
a blanket
What is your favorite color?
orange.
What messaging service do you use?
um aim?
What is your screen name?
whatever it's not important
What is your most used away message?
I change it pretty regularly. California Youth and Beauty Brigade and that quote from Blackadder maybe
What is your favorite website?
i can haz cheezeburgr?
What is your favorite shoe brand?
steve madden. Well gucci. But. That's a no.
What do you wear more; jeans or shorts?
jeans. I live in jeans
What is the last movie watched?
um I was watching School of Rock before Futurama came on
What song do you currently hear?
well it's the musical episode of Futurama, so Fry's musical
The Why's
Why are you taking this survey?
because there's nothing else to do
Why does basically half the world have a myspace?
um facebook is far superiour
Why did you pick your myspace user name?
I don't know really it was a long time ago
Why are your best friends your best friends?
because they can deal with me.
Why is wood brown?
::sigh:: well wood is made of mostly dead plant cells, or cellulose. I'm not sure what the molecular structure of cellulose is exactly (though I will no doubt by next year after o.chem) but it must be one such that when photons hit it, the electrons they excite are ones in the wavelengths that produce brown light. It's much more indepth and scientific than that, but that's about all I got out of h203
Why do the people on the news repeat the same stuff over & over?
because the news is on too often and there's not THAT much to talk about
The When's
When did everyone become obsessed with myspace?
like my Junior Year? I made at least nine people start one
When did you start school?
last year I moved in on September 17th and then we started like the 21st or something
When did you meet your best friend?
well one: kindergarten, another: freshman year high school (there's a few of those)
When did you last go to the mall?
Last weekend when I needed a dress for John's grad party
When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
no idea I hate buying pants
When did you last burn a candle?
haha when we went to Chelsea's cabin and had a candeligh dinner
When were you last at school?
June 7th. too long ago
When did you last see your dad?
not long ago enough
When did you last take a shower?
yesterday
absolutely, it's a requirement if you're in any sort of sport
2. What's something you MUST do before you die?
go to Europe (again)
3. Are you single?
yup
4. What's one thing you will not eat?
meat
5. What color is your underwear?
purple and white
6. When is the last time you went out of state?
Over Christmas when I went to Chicago (which I am in vain trying to plan another trip out to)
7. Who was your last received call?
Caitlin finally called me back
8.Have you ever dranken milk straight out of the carton?
yup
9. Can you roll your tongue?
I can twist it but not roll it
10. Can you hula hoop?
nope it's a problem I've had forever
11. Have you ever crawled through a window?
hahahahaa omg yes back in eighth grade. Fond memories.
12. Was today better than yesterday?
um no not really.
13. Do you talk to yourself?
frequently
14. Would you jump off a bridge if your friends did?
I would probably be the one who started it
15. Ever went tanning?
yesssss skin cancer yum
16. Earrings or necklaces?
earrings
17. Do you party?
yes but not too much recently minus friday night
18. Are you mad at anybody?
just, you know, the world
19. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
yup all the time
20. What are you doing tonight?
considering suicide a few more times and then going to bed
21. What time is it?
9:56
22. Are you loud?
absolutely
23. What are you looking forward to?
September 15th
24. Do you watch Family Guy regularly?
regularly no but frequently I suppose
25. Have you ever watched a little kids show?
yes but I do that less now
26. What's your zodiac sign?
capricorn
27. Are you wearing socks?
no me no likey
28. What's your favorite smell?
this is stupid but I have this perfume I got when I was a little kid and I still have it and it's my favourite ever
29. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster?
w00t yeah!
30. What is the most expensive thing you have ever bought?
my coach purse
31. Do you care what others think about you?
yes and no. I want people to like me, but I want them to like me for me so I'm not going to be someone else to get them to like me.
-also: the black and white card on Adult Swim just said "stop blogging" and I laughed-
32. What do you do all the time in a car?
sing and text and think
33. Do you trust people easily?
not particularly
34. Do you follow college football?
um involuntarily
35. Favorite football team?
well I obviously have to say the buckeyes but really I don't care
36. Do you watch the Olympics?
no I never even know they're on
37. Do you have a favorite number?
eleven
38. Are you multitasking right now?
I guess I mean I'm kind of texting and then watching Futurama
39. Do you believe in karma?
no. It's a nice thought though, the idea of people getting what they deserve.
40. How was the weather today?
nice and cloudy and cool
50 ODD Things About You:
1. Where's your number one on your top 8?
I don't know who my number one is. I think everyone on my top eight is back in Cleveland though except Cait, who's in Chicago
2. What is your favorite possesion?
iPod
3. Do you own a gun?
nein
4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?
ummmmm. I really don't have anything to say
5. Do you get nervous before doctors appointments?
I get nervoud thinking about the doctor
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
icky icky icky
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
um whatever that animal sounds music is on Elaine's computer
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
water or coffee
9. Can you do push ups?
yeah but not that many
10. Is your bathroom clean?
ish
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
ummmm I don't really have a favourite.
12.do you take painkillers?
like candy. Only I don't like candy. And I do like painkillers
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
um incessant abuse and hatred.
14. Do you have A.D.D.?
not for real but sometimes
Who is in the house with you?
dad, mom, sparky, algernon
Who was the last person to IM you?
caitlin anne
Who are you thinking about now?
caitlin I guess because she was the answer to the last question, which by the way, have stopped being numbered
Who did you last talk to on the phone?
Caitlin I'm pretty sure that was already a question
Who was you favorite teacher?
either Mrs. Nameth my 8th grade math teacher or Mrs. Neville and Mrs. Handley
Who's birthday is next?
uhhhhhhh. Christ I don't know. Clarissa's is in August, so is Skoch's I don't know who's is first. I can't think of any July People.
Who was the last person you told you love them?
I don't know. I also don't really care.
Who's your favorite relative?
I like my cousin Andrea but I don't really talk to her
The Where's
Where do you go to school?
THE Ohio State University
Where do you live?
well for the next three months, here in Westlake, but after that, I'll be a resident of Columbus
Where is your phone?
in this chair somewhere
Where are your parents?
I couldn't care less
Where do you sleep?
sometimes in my room, sometimes down here in the basement.
Where do you shop the most?
absolutely Target
Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Christmas gift. I dunno where it's from, maybe Macy's, it's not from any stores
Where did you last take a car ride to?
Jack's house? Well that's the last I drove to. I last was driven to Parma. EW.
Where in your house are you?
Basement
The What's
What was the last thing you ate?
lobster
What was the last thing you drank?
water
What color pants are you wearing?
jean coloured jeans
What kind of cell phone do you have?
um some verizon one
What is the closest item near you that is blue?
a blanket
What is your favorite color?
orange.
What messaging service do you use?
um aim?
What is your screen name?
whatever it's not important
What is your most used away message?
I change it pretty regularly. California Youth and Beauty Brigade and that quote from Blackadder maybe
What is your favorite website?
i can haz cheezeburgr?
What is your favorite shoe brand?
steve madden. Well gucci. But. That's a no.
What do you wear more; jeans or shorts?
jeans. I live in jeans
What is the last movie watched?
um I was watching School of Rock before Futurama came on
What song do you currently hear?
well it's the musical episode of Futurama, so Fry's musical
The Why's
Why are you taking this survey?
because there's nothing else to do
Why does basically half the world have a myspace?
um facebook is far superiour
Why did you pick your myspace user name?
I don't know really it was a long time ago
Why are your best friends your best friends?
because they can deal with me.
Why is wood brown?
::sigh:: well wood is made of mostly dead plant cells, or cellulose. I'm not sure what the molecular structure of cellulose is exactly (though I will no doubt by next year after o.chem) but it must be one such that when photons hit it, the electrons they excite are ones in the wavelengths that produce brown light. It's much more indepth and scientific than that, but that's about all I got out of h203
Why do the people on the news repeat the same stuff over & over?
because the news is on too often and there's not THAT much to talk about
The When's
When did everyone become obsessed with myspace?
like my Junior Year? I made at least nine people start one
When did you start school?
last year I moved in on September 17th and then we started like the 21st or something
When did you meet your best friend?
well one: kindergarten, another: freshman year high school (there's a few of those)
When did you last go to the mall?
Last weekend when I needed a dress for John's grad party
When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
no idea I hate buying pants
When did you last burn a candle?
haha when we went to Chelsea's cabin and had a candeligh dinner
When were you last at school?
June 7th. too long ago
When did you last see your dad?
not long ago enough
When did you last take a shower?
yesterday
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Cartoon War
Okay I sometimes forget how amusing South Park is. Then I watch it. And I remember. Ohhh, I remember.
Also, I've been really into Scrubs because it's on right when I get home. And basically I'm in love with John Dorian. I mean, yessss, he's a fictional character. But he's adorable. Like not just Zach Braff's cute looks, but the personaliy of J.D. Ohhh, I want to marry him. Figuratively.
Anyway I'm shaking right now. Because I figured out how to get even with my parents for exsisting. If there's one thing that pisses off my father, it's when the yard is subpar. Thus. I spend the last hour and a half trimming the privet along our driveway. It was spectacular. Awesome stress relief. The negative here is that I'm shaking because the trimmers are something like... as old as I am? So they don't work well so I had to fight with the stupid hedge a lot. And they were heavy and I have no upper body strength. But seriously. This may become a new hobby. It's awesome stress relief. There's so much... destruction involved, yet ironically it is constructive. How delightful.
I'm thirsty and my fingers hurt. Cheers!
Also, I've been really into Scrubs because it's on right when I get home. And basically I'm in love with John Dorian. I mean, yessss, he's a fictional character. But he's adorable. Like not just Zach Braff's cute looks, but the personaliy of J.D. Ohhh, I want to marry him. Figuratively.
Anyway I'm shaking right now. Because I figured out how to get even with my parents for exsisting. If there's one thing that pisses off my father, it's when the yard is subpar. Thus. I spend the last hour and a half trimming the privet along our driveway. It was spectacular. Awesome stress relief. The negative here is that I'm shaking because the trimmers are something like... as old as I am? So they don't work well so I had to fight with the stupid hedge a lot. And they were heavy and I have no upper body strength. But seriously. This may become a new hobby. It's awesome stress relief. There's so much... destruction involved, yet ironically it is constructive. How delightful.
I'm thirsty and my fingers hurt. Cheers!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Ttly brd
The Dirty Thirty.
30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:
wow there's not even a first question
2. What were you doing this morning at 8 am?
closing my eyes and pretending I was asleep... which I did for like an hour, by the way
3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Watching Keeping the Faith, which is a good movie, by the way
4. What are you wearing?
some old red mags shirt and white shorts
5. Are you mad at anyone right now?
well like my parents, as always. and myself, as usual. but no, not about or at anyone in particular
6. Last person to say they loved you?
Probably Lyla at some point yesterday
7. Last time you kissed someone?
like a week and a half maybe. But that doesn't mean lyla didn't try
8. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
I don't think there's a song on my myspace anymore.
9. Last thing received in the email?
probably a facebook notification
11. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
guilty
12. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
nein
13. How long is your hair?
I don't know what my hair is anymore
14. How many different drinks have you had today?
milk in my cereal
15. What have you eaten today?
read above
16. Are you any good at math?
not really
17. Do you have plans on Saturday night?
aka tonight? Not really anything specific, but I'm sure I can find something
18. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
nope
19. Do you prefer beer or liquor?
oh definately liquor
20. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
I don't think so
21. Do you like the ocean?
Never been there
22. Do you stay friends with your ex?
nope
23. What are you excited about?
Chicagoooooooo which probably won't be until august now
24. What did you do last night?
Johnny's grad party... so basically Naz and I sat around and assured Lyla that she's pretty and not to pay attention to her arch-nemesis
25. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
nein
26. Where do you keep your change?
in various small containers in my room
27. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life?
nope! Please refer to Jen
28. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I guess it depends. Usually alone because I take up a lot of space and move around a lot
29. What was the weather like on your birthday?
crappy. it was only like ten degrees (celcius) and no snow and it sucked
30. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends list?
who is even on my top friends list?
Repost this as "30 dirty questions" <--- these weren't really that dirty
30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:
wow there's not even a first question
2. What were you doing this morning at 8 am?
closing my eyes and pretending I was asleep... which I did for like an hour, by the way
3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Watching Keeping the Faith, which is a good movie, by the way
4. What are you wearing?
some old red mags shirt and white shorts
5. Are you mad at anyone right now?
well like my parents, as always. and myself, as usual. but no, not about or at anyone in particular
6. Last person to say they loved you?
Probably Lyla at some point yesterday
7. Last time you kissed someone?
like a week and a half maybe. But that doesn't mean lyla didn't try
8. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
I don't think there's a song on my myspace anymore.
9. Last thing received in the email?
probably a facebook notification
11. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
guilty
12. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
nein
13. How long is your hair?
I don't know what my hair is anymore
14. How many different drinks have you had today?
milk in my cereal
15. What have you eaten today?
read above
16. Are you any good at math?
not really
17. Do you have plans on Saturday night?
aka tonight? Not really anything specific, but I'm sure I can find something
18. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
nope
19. Do you prefer beer or liquor?
oh definately liquor
20. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
I don't think so
21. Do you like the ocean?
Never been there
22. Do you stay friends with your ex?
nope
23. What are you excited about?
Chicagoooooooo which probably won't be until august now
24. What did you do last night?
Johnny's grad party... so basically Naz and I sat around and assured Lyla that she's pretty and not to pay attention to her arch-nemesis
25. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
nein
26. Where do you keep your change?
in various small containers in my room
27. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life?
nope! Please refer to Jen
28. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I guess it depends. Usually alone because I take up a lot of space and move around a lot
29. What was the weather like on your birthday?
crappy. it was only like ten degrees (celcius) and no snow and it sucked
30. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends list?
who is even on my top friends list?
Repost this as "30 dirty questions" <--- these weren't really that dirty
Thursday, June 14, 2007
I Might Be Wrong
Open iTunes to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrasing it is. ( I have included my old and my new answers because I'm bored, no one else reads this blog, and I'm curious to know the stats.)
How many songs
2267 (732)
Sort by song title:
First Song:
'80s life- the good, the bad, and the queen
(Till the tide creeps in- The Thrill)
Last Song: Ziggy Stardust- David Bowie
(Your Star- AAR)
Sort by time:
Shortest Song:
Dig Your Grave- Modest Mouse
(the shortest thing that's an actual song and not an interlude or intro is Mayday by The Libertines)
Longest Song:
Your Guts- I hate 'em- Reel Big Fish (though still technically Dane Cook)
(Well, technically Dane Cook, because the whole CD came in a big block, but that's not music. But the actual song is Sway by Lost Prophets)
Sort by artist:
First song:
Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down
(Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down)
Last song:
Downtown by Zed
(Downtown by Zed)
Sort by Play count:
most played:
White Wall- Mando Diao (20) (see, there were technical difficulties with the iPod and so all these new stats are from October 2006 onward)
(C'mon C'mon- The VonBondies (38))
least played:
the last one is an instrumental song from the R + J soundtrack
(The last one on the list is the last song from syd's techno mix, since I just put that shit in there)
Sort by album:
First Song:
Hello- Oasis
((well the intro) Apocalypse Please by Muse)
Last Song:
love (it's a blurb elaine once sent to me, it's not actually a song)
(Hang- Matchbox 20)
sort by Date added:
most recently added song:
Love Today- Mika
(the last song (Track 11) on Syd's Techno Mix)
First song added:
Warning Sign- Coldplay (but really I uploaded a Data disk and so it got all b'jumbled)
(Dane Cook last Christmas Day... well, really song wise was California by Phantom Planet (just for the record, it wasn't the CD, it was Caitlin's sumemr mix))
Last 5 songs played-
this is difficulut because I;m listening right now to my iTunes (I realized I didn't have iTunes really when i filled this out the first time because there was no sound on this computer until august 2006)
War Pigs (currently playing)- Black Sabbath
I might be wrong- Radiohead
In This Home On Ice- Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah
To Hell We Ride- Lostprophets
Every Planet We Reach is Dead- Gorillaz
oh and War Pigs just ended and so now What Became of the Likely lads is playing (libertines)
(The Shower Scene- Brand New-
Time Honoured Tradition- Kaiser Cheifs-
You and I- The Cribs-
The Watch Trick- The Cribs-
Place for My Head- Linkin' Park)
Search ...."sex", how many songs come up?
22... but they all come up because they were on the "sex on the beach" mixes we made
(none)
"love", how many songs come up?
124
(31)
"you", how many songs come up?
317
(108)
"hate", how many songs come up?
25... once again, most of them are thanks to the arctic monkeys "wHATEver people say I am, that's what I'm not"
(4. ironically only two actually have the word "hate"... the other two have the word "whatever")
"me", how many songs come up?
516
(200)
song you're listening to right now: Suffregette City by David Bowie
How many songs
2267 (732)
Sort by song title:
First Song:
'80s life- the good, the bad, and the queen
(Till the tide creeps in- The Thrill)
Last Song: Ziggy Stardust- David Bowie
(Your Star- AAR)
Sort by time:
Shortest Song:
Dig Your Grave- Modest Mouse
(the shortest thing that's an actual song and not an interlude or intro is Mayday by The Libertines)
Longest Song:
Your Guts- I hate 'em- Reel Big Fish (though still technically Dane Cook)
(Well, technically Dane Cook, because the whole CD came in a big block, but that's not music. But the actual song is Sway by Lost Prophets)
Sort by artist:
First song:
Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down
(Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down)
Last song:
Downtown by Zed
(Downtown by Zed)
Sort by Play count:
most played:
White Wall- Mando Diao (20) (see, there were technical difficulties with the iPod and so all these new stats are from October 2006 onward)
(C'mon C'mon- The VonBondies (38))
least played:
the last one is an instrumental song from the R + J soundtrack
(The last one on the list is the last song from syd's techno mix, since I just put that shit in there)
Sort by album:
First Song:
Hello- Oasis
((well the intro) Apocalypse Please by Muse)
Last Song:
love (it's a blurb elaine once sent to me, it's not actually a song)
(Hang- Matchbox 20)
sort by Date added:
most recently added song:
Love Today- Mika
(the last song (Track 11) on Syd's Techno Mix)
First song added:
Warning Sign- Coldplay (but really I uploaded a Data disk and so it got all b'jumbled)
(Dane Cook last Christmas Day... well, really song wise was California by Phantom Planet (just for the record, it wasn't the CD, it was Caitlin's sumemr mix))
Last 5 songs played-
this is difficulut because I;m listening right now to my iTunes (I realized I didn't have iTunes really when i filled this out the first time because there was no sound on this computer until august 2006)
War Pigs (currently playing)- Black Sabbath
I might be wrong- Radiohead
In This Home On Ice- Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah
To Hell We Ride- Lostprophets
Every Planet We Reach is Dead- Gorillaz
oh and War Pigs just ended and so now What Became of the Likely lads is playing (libertines)
(The Shower Scene- Brand New-
Time Honoured Tradition- Kaiser Cheifs-
You and I- The Cribs-
The Watch Trick- The Cribs-
Place for My Head- Linkin' Park)
Search ...."sex", how many songs come up?
22... but they all come up because they were on the "sex on the beach" mixes we made
(none)
"love", how many songs come up?
124
(31)
"you", how many songs come up?
317
(108)
"hate", how many songs come up?
25... once again, most of them are thanks to the arctic monkeys "wHATEver people say I am, that's what I'm not"
(4. ironically only two actually have the word "hate"... the other two have the word "whatever")
"me", how many songs come up?
516
(200)
song you're listening to right now: Suffregette City by David Bowie
I'm Not Superman
I think I've officially decided that if I could marry anyone in my fictional world where I sometimes believe in love and happiness, it would be J.D. from Scrubs. Or maybe just Zach Braff in general. But for real. He's adorable.
Anyway I did my first day of work today. In retrospect, I hated it. I think I'm going to kill myself before the end of summer. It really is the only option. I hate my parents. And my house. And living not in Columbus.
Anyway I'm just angry. I'm going to watch another episode of Scrubs. Leave me alone.
Anyway I did my first day of work today. In retrospect, I hated it. I think I'm going to kill myself before the end of summer. It really is the only option. I hate my parents. And my house. And living not in Columbus.
Anyway I'm just angry. I'm going to watch another episode of Scrubs. Leave me alone.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Hey! You! Get off My Cloud!
Ahhhh it has actually been a nice few days. Minus the fact that I have horrid allergies right now, which I'm not entirely sure of the origin of. Ended that sentence with a preposition.. oh, well, I'm not in college anymore... you know, until September... oh, god, September, why are you so far away?
Anyhoo yesterday I went to Catawba with Skoch and Ricky and Jack and Colin and Anthony and then we went to Cedar Point, where I listened to them quote movies, YouTube videos, and discuss how hot that construction worker was. (You can interpret that exactly however you'd like, in fact, I hope you do) But really it was fun, and I'm the only one who didn't get really really burnt, and I got to ride that new ride, which was super intense fun.
Anyway now I'm exhausted and I have to go into work tomorrow, but I'm very involved in burning my new CDs that I took out from the library. I am currently nursing a huge Rolling Stones fetish. I had the Forty Licks CD in and "You Can't Always Get What You Want" came on and it was superexcitingHousemoment time. And just now I imported the Clash London Calling 25th blaa blaa blaa CD. And I'm a music pirate hooker.
Now I'm watching Futurama make fun of the interweb from 1999. It amuses me.
Anyhoo yesterday I went to Catawba with Skoch and Ricky and Jack and Colin and Anthony and then we went to Cedar Point, where I listened to them quote movies, YouTube videos, and discuss how hot that construction worker was. (You can interpret that exactly however you'd like, in fact, I hope you do) But really it was fun, and I'm the only one who didn't get really really burnt, and I got to ride that new ride, which was super intense fun.
Anyway now I'm exhausted and I have to go into work tomorrow, but I'm very involved in burning my new CDs that I took out from the library. I am currently nursing a huge Rolling Stones fetish. I had the Forty Licks CD in and "You Can't Always Get What You Want" came on and it was superexcitingHousemoment time. And just now I imported the Clash London Calling 25th blaa blaa blaa CD. And I'm a music pirate hooker.
Now I'm watching Futurama make fun of the interweb from 1999. It amuses me.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Summer, Day Three
Today I had to listen to mother rant about the family, which grows continually more fucked up by the minute.
A) My great-aunt and -uncle are dead, and have been since April. We were going through their house today. They are worth lots and lots of money but they are all annoying and Catholic and are hence donating it to charities, which do not include the poor college kid fund. It's okay though, they have a lot of cash lying around the house, which can get donated to that fund.
B) My dad's cousin I think supposedly commited suicide a few months ago. Yeah they don't think that's true really. They think he was murdered by his angry-not-yet-ex wife. Who aparently hangs out with a motorcycle gang. Why have I not met these people? Oh, yeah because I hate family functions.
C) I continue to be the only member of my family with any contact with the cousins. All because my parents are too retarded to figure out things like AIM or E-Mailing. Except, of course, to me, who could care less.
Anyway, that's why I hate my family. They are like this. It's frustrating. But on the bright side, I have only 98 more days of actually living in this house. After that, it's all Columbus, baby.
A) My great-aunt and -uncle are dead, and have been since April. We were going through their house today. They are worth lots and lots of money but they are all annoying and Catholic and are hence donating it to charities, which do not include the poor college kid fund. It's okay though, they have a lot of cash lying around the house, which can get donated to that fund.
B) My dad's cousin I think supposedly commited suicide a few months ago. Yeah they don't think that's true really. They think he was murdered by his angry-not-yet-ex wife. Who aparently hangs out with a motorcycle gang. Why have I not met these people? Oh, yeah because I hate family functions.
C) I continue to be the only member of my family with any contact with the cousins. All because my parents are too retarded to figure out things like AIM or E-Mailing. Except, of course, to me, who could care less.
Anyway, that's why I hate my family. They are like this. It's frustrating. But on the bright side, I have only 98 more days of actually living in this house. After that, it's all Columbus, baby.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Last Nite
1. Where were you at 3:18pm today?
hmm good question. Probably helping Elaine move out... sadface
2. How did you get the idea for your MySpace name?
um Sean called me that when we still hung out, and that was around the last time I cared about updating facebook
3. What song are you listening to right now?
JESSICA BY THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND BECAUSE I HAVE MY GUITAR HERO PLAYLIST FOR MY FIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Do you click on pop-ups?
I don't even get pop-ups. I miss pop-up video. What ever happened to that?
6. Do you own an iPod?
yes, it contains my life basically
7. What was your first thought this morning?
it's 7:30. My final is at 11:30. why am I awake? Oh, well, I'll go to the rpac
8. Is the person that you have a crush on older or younger?
That's a stupid word, I agree with sarah.
10. Whats your favorite memory from this weekend?
let's see. What did I even do? I don't know, I guess just bonding in general with everyone who I have to leave soon... whaaaaaaaaaa
12. What was the last thing that you had to eat?
pad brownie
13. Who is the last person that you hugged?
ELAINE BECAUSE SHE LEFT ME WHAAAAAAA
15. What do you really dislike at this moment?
my parents because they are my captors.
17. What did you dream last night?
Hahaha I dreamt that Elaine moved out. And it was wierd.
18. What was the last TV show you watched?
show? I have no idea... hell, probably House... but we just watched Beerfest and Eurotrip
19. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
industrial
20. Name 2 people on your Top Friends who are most like you?
I don't even know who's on my top friends. But overall I would say Kristen and Jen
21. Do you always lock your door?
yes compulsively
22. Do you like your boss?
I don't technically have a boss
23. Are you on any medication?
Just mah alive
24. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
there is no side because it's so fucking small
25. What color shirt are you wearing?
brown. it doesn't look great with the new hairs
26. What is your favorite frozen treat?
ICE CREAM W00000000000T
27. How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
Okay no tattoos. But I guess I have five piercings? Or six. I don't know, does an industrial count as one or two, because it's two holes but one piece of jewelery
28. What's your favorite store?
Target :-D
30. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
Caitlin Anne Fucking Brigid Schriner
32. Do you care what people think about you?
Once in a while but I try really, really hard not to
33. Your last kiss was?
you left off the end of that sentence?
37. Have you ever moshed?
ha yes!
41. What is the thing that you would most like to change about yourself?
my body
42. What words do you say a lot?
"that's what she said"
43. What do you smell like right now?
I don't know. Nothing, really. I mean I showered in the morning, and I haven't gone anywhere so I'm clean, but it was too long ago to still smell like soap
46. What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
ignore it; it'll go away
47. Would you ever sky dive?
absolutely
48. Who was the last person you saw with their shirt off?
um, honestly I don't know
49. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
not that much I guess
50. Have you ever been to Australia?
no, but I wish
51. Do you own a digital camera?
it's broken so no, not really
52. What celebrities do people say you look like?
no one, in fact
53. Who was the last person to say "I love you" to you?
hellz if I know. They hopefully didn't mean it anyway
54. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but don't?
depends on the situation. Usually no really.
56. What was the last thing you typed?
whatever I just typed for number 54. What a dumb question
57. Most visited website?
facebook, hands down
58. Do you ever feel guilty about eating meat?
I can't feel guilty because I don't eat it
59. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name be?
I haven't got a clue in fact
60. Do you believe in God?
no way no how
hmm good question. Probably helping Elaine move out... sadface
2. How did you get the idea for your MySpace name?
um Sean called me that when we still hung out, and that was around the last time I cared about updating facebook
3. What song are you listening to right now?
JESSICA BY THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND BECAUSE I HAVE MY GUITAR HERO PLAYLIST FOR MY FIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Do you click on pop-ups?
I don't even get pop-ups. I miss pop-up video. What ever happened to that?
6. Do you own an iPod?
yes, it contains my life basically
7. What was your first thought this morning?
it's 7:30. My final is at 11:30. why am I awake? Oh, well, I'll go to the rpac
8. Is the person that you have a crush on older or younger?
That's a stupid word, I agree with sarah.
10. Whats your favorite memory from this weekend?
let's see. What did I even do? I don't know, I guess just bonding in general with everyone who I have to leave soon... whaaaaaaaaaa
12. What was the last thing that you had to eat?
pad brownie
13. Who is the last person that you hugged?
ELAINE BECAUSE SHE LEFT ME WHAAAAAAA
15. What do you really dislike at this moment?
my parents because they are my captors.
17. What did you dream last night?
Hahaha I dreamt that Elaine moved out. And it was wierd.
18. What was the last TV show you watched?
show? I have no idea... hell, probably House... but we just watched Beerfest and Eurotrip
19. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
industrial
20. Name 2 people on your Top Friends who are most like you?
I don't even know who's on my top friends. But overall I would say Kristen and Jen
21. Do you always lock your door?
yes compulsively
22. Do you like your boss?
I don't technically have a boss
23. Are you on any medication?
Just mah alive
24. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
there is no side because it's so fucking small
25. What color shirt are you wearing?
brown. it doesn't look great with the new hairs
26. What is your favorite frozen treat?
ICE CREAM W00000000000T
27. How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
Okay no tattoos. But I guess I have five piercings? Or six. I don't know, does an industrial count as one or two, because it's two holes but one piece of jewelery
28. What's your favorite store?
Target :-D
30. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
Caitlin Anne Fucking Brigid Schriner
32. Do you care what people think about you?
Once in a while but I try really, really hard not to
33. Your last kiss was?
you left off the end of that sentence?
37. Have you ever moshed?
ha yes!
41. What is the thing that you would most like to change about yourself?
my body
42. What words do you say a lot?
"that's what she said"
43. What do you smell like right now?
I don't know. Nothing, really. I mean I showered in the morning, and I haven't gone anywhere so I'm clean, but it was too long ago to still smell like soap
46. What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
ignore it; it'll go away
47. Would you ever sky dive?
absolutely
48. Who was the last person you saw with their shirt off?
um, honestly I don't know
49. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
not that much I guess
50. Have you ever been to Australia?
no, but I wish
51. Do you own a digital camera?
it's broken so no, not really
52. What celebrities do people say you look like?
no one, in fact
53. Who was the last person to say "I love you" to you?
hellz if I know. They hopefully didn't mean it anyway
54. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but don't?
depends on the situation. Usually no really.
56. What was the last thing you typed?
whatever I just typed for number 54. What a dumb question
57. Most visited website?
facebook, hands down
58. Do you ever feel guilty about eating meat?
I can't feel guilty because I don't eat it
59. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name be?
I haven't got a clue in fact
60. Do you believe in God?
no way no how
Trippin' On a Hole...
Well, I'm officially done for now. With school, and to some extent, with life. It's a spectacular feeling, in fact. Currently I'm listening to a bunch of Guitar Hero songs that Elaine may or may not have illegally downloaded. It's nice to have no major priorities on the to do list.
So I copied and pasted my facebook statuses for the last few months in order to sum up how the last quarter went:
Stefanie is dead.
June 3
I took a chem final. You'd probably feel the same way if you'd taken it
Stefanie is going to kill elaine for changing her status... but realizes she probably deserves it.
Well, read below I guess. It's not my fault they put them in backwards order.
Stefanie is a poop bomb.
Yeah sweet. Elaine changed my status because I foolishly left my facebook up. But I derserved it, I change hers all the time, such as to, "Elaine is having herself some afternoon delight"
June 1
June 1
Stefanie is not a huge fan of math, but does other people's webwork anyway.
Ha. I got bored because I don't like sports, so I did the drunk, stoned kid's 152 webwork instead of watching some stupid back and forth basketball game.
May 29
Stefanie is bored with schoolwork, but it beats the alternative.
May 21
Stefanie is going to be an assassin when she grows up. Or Else.
May 14
Stefanie is busy starting chem lab fires.
May 7
Stefanie is sooooo punk rawk.
May 4
Stefanie is angsty because chemistry makes her so.
April 29
Stefanie is straight out of 1865.
April 27
Stefanie is THE guitar hero.
April 24
Stefanie is not particularly looking forward to Autumn '07.
April 18
Stefanie is going down, down, down to the underground.
April 17
Stefanie is a piece of shit.
April 15
Stefanie is curling into a little tiny ball and dying.
April 14
Stefanie is having herself a weekend.
April 13
Stefanie is bitchin'.
April 10
Stefanie is building a teepee.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
It's True, I have a Problem
30 (dumb) Facts
Today-
1. Talk to a boy/girl you like?
I guess
2. Learn anything new?
yeah that I suck at chemistry. Oh, oh wait, that's not new.
3. Talk to an ex?
ha no.
4. Miss someone?
I can't fucking tell.
---------------------------------
Last Person Who-
5. Laid in your bed?
me, you perv
6. Made you cry?
probably Jack Daniels or someone like him.
7. You went to the movies with?
Josh
8. Went to the mall with?
Jen, Dan, and Clarissa
9. Who Made you laugh?
Elaine and her youtube video about the giraffe
10. Said they loved you?
no one I hope.
-----------------------------
General stuff
11. Favorite location?
Chicago
12. What are you most scared of?
commitment, needles
13. Will you ever get married?
it doesn't look likely, and that doesn't particularly bother me
14. Does anyone like you?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Aka positive.
15. Do you like being around people?
not always
16. Have you cried recently?
Don't think so
17. Are you lonely right now?
no I don't think so. I'm going to miss having people available all the time though
18. Song stuck in your head?
Jessica- Allman Brothers Band or something like that. It's Guitar Hero's fault. There aren't even words
20. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
I mean I guess technically I did but it never bothered me because I treat people like crap right back
21. What color shirt do you have on now?
red
22. Name three things that you do every day?
walk far
eat
facebook
23. How much cash do you have on you right now?
There's some change in the cup above my head. That's it.
24. Are you bored?
obviously.
25. Whats your favorite show?
HOUSE
26. Who got you to join Myspace?
hmmm I think it was a combination of Katie Polefko and Elizabeth
27. Wish someone was next to you in the morning when you wake up?
This morning? No. Unless the devil of chemistry counts, in which case, yes.
28. What web site do you visit the most?
Definately facebook.
29. Do you have plants in your room?
no I have a flowerpot I need to get flowers for though
30. Who was the last person to hug you?
Clarissa. I wrote everyone good-bye cards and made her sad
--------------------------------
21 SECRETS
1.WHAT IS YOUR DISPLAY NAME ABOUT?
ha I think it's Sean's nickname for me back in high school
2. WHERE WAS YOUR DEFAULT PICTURE TAKEN?
in my bedroom in Cleveland
3. WHATS YOUR HEADLINE MEAN?
the real question is; what is my headline? I do not know, so I can't tell you.
4. HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WERE TO TELL YOU HOW THEY FELT, WOULD YOU LISTEN?
what?
5. WHATS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?
depressed, anxious, nervous, nostalgic
6. WHATS YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSION?
my iPod and laptop. lame maybe, but I need my music and my pictures.
8. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, AND CHANGE SOMETHING WOULD U?
hahaaha Caitlin's respose to this question was about a short story we had to read freshman year
9. IF YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL FOR ONE DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
GOAT!
10. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE?
I don't really think so, I kind of remember the time I almsot drowned when I was two, but not clearly enough to count
11. WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE SONG THAT’S STUCK IN YOUR head?
Jessica
12.WHO DID YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS FROM?
Caitlin Anne
13. HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE?
absofuckinglutely not
14. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX OR SAME SEX?
honestly I don't know
15. DO YOU USUALLY ORDER FROM STARBUCKS?
I haven't gotten real starbucks in forever. But from campus grind I usually get a large skim mocha
16. DO YOU STILL WATCH KIDDY MOVIES OR TV SHOW?
absolutely. Danny Phantom. Fairly OddParents.
18. NAME SOMETHING THAT YOU DID TODAY?
got anally raped by a chem final. anally raped an english final.
19. IS THERE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND NOW?
um kind of.
20. WHAT HURTS YOU RIGHT NOW?
my tummy because I eated an oreo. And by "an" oreo I mean seven oreos.
Today-
1. Talk to a boy/girl you like?
I guess
2. Learn anything new?
yeah that I suck at chemistry. Oh, oh wait, that's not new.
3. Talk to an ex?
ha no.
4. Miss someone?
I can't fucking tell.
---------------------------------
Last Person Who-
5. Laid in your bed?
me, you perv
6. Made you cry?
probably Jack Daniels or someone like him.
7. You went to the movies with?
Josh
8. Went to the mall with?
Jen, Dan, and Clarissa
9. Who Made you laugh?
Elaine and her youtube video about the giraffe
10. Said they loved you?
no one I hope.
-----------------------------
General stuff
11. Favorite location?
Chicago
12. What are you most scared of?
commitment, needles
13. Will you ever get married?
it doesn't look likely, and that doesn't particularly bother me
14. Does anyone like you?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Aka positive.
15. Do you like being around people?
not always
16. Have you cried recently?
Don't think so
17. Are you lonely right now?
no I don't think so. I'm going to miss having people available all the time though
18. Song stuck in your head?
Jessica- Allman Brothers Band or something like that. It's Guitar Hero's fault. There aren't even words
20. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
I mean I guess technically I did but it never bothered me because I treat people like crap right back
21. What color shirt do you have on now?
red
22. Name three things that you do every day?
walk far
eat
23. How much cash do you have on you right now?
There's some change in the cup above my head. That's it.
24. Are you bored?
obviously.
25. Whats your favorite show?
HOUSE
26. Who got you to join Myspace?
hmmm I think it was a combination of Katie Polefko and Elizabeth
27. Wish someone was next to you in the morning when you wake up?
This morning? No. Unless the devil of chemistry counts, in which case, yes.
28. What web site do you visit the most?
Definately facebook.
29. Do you have plants in your room?
no I have a flowerpot I need to get flowers for though
30. Who was the last person to hug you?
Clarissa. I wrote everyone good-bye cards and made her sad
--------------------------------
21 SECRETS
1.WHAT IS YOUR DISPLAY NAME ABOUT?
ha I think it's Sean's nickname for me back in high school
2. WHERE WAS YOUR DEFAULT PICTURE TAKEN?
in my bedroom in Cleveland
3. WHATS YOUR HEADLINE MEAN?
the real question is; what is my headline? I do not know, so I can't tell you.
4. HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WERE TO TELL YOU HOW THEY FELT, WOULD YOU LISTEN?
what?
5. WHATS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?
depressed, anxious, nervous, nostalgic
6. WHATS YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSION?
my iPod and laptop. lame maybe, but I need my music and my pictures.
8. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, AND CHANGE SOMETHING WOULD U?
hahaaha Caitlin's respose to this question was about a short story we had to read freshman year
9. IF YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL FOR ONE DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
GOAT!
10. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE?
I don't really think so, I kind of remember the time I almsot drowned when I was two, but not clearly enough to count
11. WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE SONG THAT’S STUCK IN YOUR head?
Jessica
12.WHO DID YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS FROM?
Caitlin Anne
13. HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE?
absofuckinglutely not
14. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX OR SAME SEX?
honestly I don't know
15. DO YOU USUALLY ORDER FROM STARBUCKS?
I haven't gotten real starbucks in forever. But from campus grind I usually get a large skim mocha
16. DO YOU STILL WATCH KIDDY MOVIES OR TV SHOW?
absolutely. Danny Phantom. Fairly OddParents.
18. NAME SOMETHING THAT YOU DID TODAY?
got anally raped by a chem final. anally raped an english final.
19. IS THERE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND NOW?
um kind of.
20. WHAT HURTS YOU RIGHT NOW?
my tummy because I eated an oreo. And by "an" oreo I mean seven oreos.
Can't You Hear Me Knockin'?
OOOOOOOOokay. I have to leave here. soon. I don't want to. I hate hate hate hate going home. Most of the people I have any desire to see at home are here anyway, those that aren't can freaking visit. I do not want to go home to spend three months under the control of my parents- they aren't even that bad, I just have gotten so acclimated to being independent, and now I have to go back to not being in charge of wher I live and shit. However, there is a small list of good things about going home:
-SIMS 2
-car
-making money (even if the work will be a bitch)
-no schoolwork (by the way, for anyone who cares, chem absofuckinglutely raped me today)
-real foods
okay that's about it. It's not a terrible list, but it's not worth going home. Seriously.
Plus. My brain is so discombobulated. I don't know what to do with any situations in my life. One specifically. I'm not good with... other people. And I feel like by the time I get anywhere with this, I suddenly have to go home.
Whatever. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
-SIMS 2
-car
-making money (even if the work will be a bitch)
-no schoolwork (by the way, for anyone who cares, chem absofuckinglutely raped me today)
-real foods
okay that's about it. It's not a terrible list, but it's not worth going home. Seriously.
Plus. My brain is so discombobulated. I don't know what to do with any situations in my life. One specifically. I'm not good with... other people. And I feel like by the time I get anywhere with this, I suddenly have to go home.
Whatever. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Garden of Serenity
Everyone, I'm sure, has their own personal version of what hell is. I don't really believe in hell, but it's fun... and by fun I mean sadistic a little bit... to imagine what it would be like when you go there. (Please not the "when" not the "if" in that sentence) Fire and brimstone do not really strike fear in me all that much. And physical torture, while annoying, isn't really that bad compared to psychological torture. Thus I have created a survey of what my hell would be like, should it actually exist.
Rather than always being hungry or rolling a rock up a hill, my personal hell would involve lots of chemistry. Lots and lots of it. It would kind of be like never leaving the power of Dr. Robert Tatz. My hell would consist of me essentiall doing lab 26 over... and over... and over again. With different unknowns everytime. My two options with this would be to either a) spend hours and hours and days on it in the boiling hot lab room 240, waiting eternally for the centerfuge, and looking up solubility constants in the big book, but eventually finding the correct compound, only to start all over again or b) half-ass it, get it wrong, and have to get lots of shots. In my arm. I'm not sure if in the wrist or the elbow would be worse. Maybe just one or the other if I only find one cation or anion, but both if I get the whole thing wrong. Anyway, during this lab country music will play. And probably just the same six or seven particularly obnoxious ones, so that they just drive me mad. They will be the ones about tractors and walmart. My lab partner will be Paris Hilton. Rachel Ray will be my TA. The only thing I will have to eat will be flank steak. And my phone will only be capeable of making outgoing calls to that girl in my English class with the annoying voice.
And that is my personal hell. Should you ever want to extract information from me, and getting me rediculously drunk isn't working for some reason, I recommend torturing me in this manner to learn what you want.
Rather than always being hungry or rolling a rock up a hill, my personal hell would involve lots of chemistry. Lots and lots of it. It would kind of be like never leaving the power of Dr. Robert Tatz. My hell would consist of me essentiall doing lab 26 over... and over... and over again. With different unknowns everytime. My two options with this would be to either a) spend hours and hours and days on it in the boiling hot lab room 240, waiting eternally for the centerfuge, and looking up solubility constants in the big book, but eventually finding the correct compound, only to start all over again or b) half-ass it, get it wrong, and have to get lots of shots. In my arm. I'm not sure if in the wrist or the elbow would be worse. Maybe just one or the other if I only find one cation or anion, but both if I get the whole thing wrong. Anyway, during this lab country music will play. And probably just the same six or seven particularly obnoxious ones, so that they just drive me mad. They will be the ones about tractors and walmart. My lab partner will be Paris Hilton. Rachel Ray will be my TA. The only thing I will have to eat will be flank steak. And my phone will only be capeable of making outgoing calls to that girl in my English class with the annoying voice.
And that is my personal hell. Should you ever want to extract information from me, and getting me rediculously drunk isn't working for some reason, I recommend torturing me in this manner to learn what you want.
Friday, May 25, 2007
With a vest on my chest, A bullet in my lung
So. I came home for the weekend. Woop-dee-frickin' doo. You know I hate it here. And yes, I did come back with a negative attitude. But I thought going to Jack's would be okay. It wasn't though. It was awful. Everyone was drunk and it was just an awful shit show. And I didn't drink, I just kept carrying around my water glass, and I don't know, maybe it's just that I'm sick and emo and missing OSU, but I really didn't belong there. I didn't want to be drinking with them.
I know that I cannot recreate last summer, awsome as it was. However, I would like to believe that maybe my good ol' friends can have a good time without drinking. We had a blast all last year, and only once did we all drink together, and that wasn't really even all of us, just five of us. And two of those people weren't even there tonight. Honestly, is it so wrong to want to just enjoy each other's company without the influence of alcohol? I don't judge people who drink, don't get me wrong, it's not like drinking to me is a bad thing, I just also like to believe it's possible to have a good time without it.
I guess it's just a matter of not belonging. It sounds horrible, maybe, but I'd rather be lounging around the common room with Elaine and Elyse, or trying to figure out something to do with Jen, or tagging along with Devon and Clarissa. Basically, I'd rather be accomplishing nothing than being with my drunken high school friends. I don't know if they disappoint me, exactly, but it's just like.. I guess just no one is who they used to be, myself included. I guess it's normal for people to part ways, but it's kind of depressing. The last three times I've seen my friends from last summer- tonight, St. Patty's Day, and New Year's- they were drunk. That seems pathetic to me a bit. I don't think we've all been together and sober since my birthday- which was about five months ago.
Coming home doesn't feel like coming home. It feels like leaving where I belong. Maybe I'm just too good at leaving things behind. When I got to Jack's, Skoch, Ricky, Sarah, Anthony, and Colin all came running out to see me. But it was only because they're all drunk that they even cared. Dear god, Anthony and Colin were pretty much gone. And I don't know, we were sitting in the living room, and Point/Counterpoint came on (read: Ricky put it on) and I was listening to Ricky and Skoch sing it, and then Alex and Sarah, too, and I don't know something kind of hit me. Because it reminded me of going to the Reel Big Fish concert last summer, and no one was drunk then and we all still had a good time, and everything was different then. And I wouldn't necessarily go back to it, but I also wish everyone wouldn't pretend like it's so easy to recreate. Because the only way they can seems to be with alcohol, which never played a role in anything before. I don't feel like becoming an alcoholic just to keep hanging out with my old friends. Like yeah, drinking once in a while, whoo hoo. But not every time I see everyone. It's annoying. So annoying.
I just want to go back to OSU, but even when I do, I'm just going to have to leave again. When I left Jack's, I didn't know where to go. I felt so trapped, even though for once I had dear Huebert with me. I didn't want to go home but I couldn't go back there, and if I had really had a choice, I'd've either hopped on 71s or 90w and gone back to columbus or visited Caitlin in Chicago.
I don't know what to think about anyone or anything anymore. I guess I'm still a clusterfuck.
I know that I cannot recreate last summer, awsome as it was. However, I would like to believe that maybe my good ol' friends can have a good time without drinking. We had a blast all last year, and only once did we all drink together, and that wasn't really even all of us, just five of us. And two of those people weren't even there tonight. Honestly, is it so wrong to want to just enjoy each other's company without the influence of alcohol? I don't judge people who drink, don't get me wrong, it's not like drinking to me is a bad thing, I just also like to believe it's possible to have a good time without it.
I guess it's just a matter of not belonging. It sounds horrible, maybe, but I'd rather be lounging around the common room with Elaine and Elyse, or trying to figure out something to do with Jen, or tagging along with Devon and Clarissa. Basically, I'd rather be accomplishing nothing than being with my drunken high school friends. I don't know if they disappoint me, exactly, but it's just like.. I guess just no one is who they used to be, myself included. I guess it's normal for people to part ways, but it's kind of depressing. The last three times I've seen my friends from last summer- tonight, St. Patty's Day, and New Year's- they were drunk. That seems pathetic to me a bit. I don't think we've all been together and sober since my birthday- which was about five months ago.
Coming home doesn't feel like coming home. It feels like leaving where I belong. Maybe I'm just too good at leaving things behind. When I got to Jack's, Skoch, Ricky, Sarah, Anthony, and Colin all came running out to see me. But it was only because they're all drunk that they even cared. Dear god, Anthony and Colin were pretty much gone. And I don't know, we were sitting in the living room, and Point/Counterpoint came on (read: Ricky put it on) and I was listening to Ricky and Skoch sing it, and then Alex and Sarah, too, and I don't know something kind of hit me. Because it reminded me of going to the Reel Big Fish concert last summer, and no one was drunk then and we all still had a good time, and everything was different then. And I wouldn't necessarily go back to it, but I also wish everyone wouldn't pretend like it's so easy to recreate. Because the only way they can seems to be with alcohol, which never played a role in anything before. I don't feel like becoming an alcoholic just to keep hanging out with my old friends. Like yeah, drinking once in a while, whoo hoo. But not every time I see everyone. It's annoying. So annoying.
I just want to go back to OSU, but even when I do, I'm just going to have to leave again. When I left Jack's, I didn't know where to go. I felt so trapped, even though for once I had dear Huebert with me. I didn't want to go home but I couldn't go back there, and if I had really had a choice, I'd've either hopped on 71s or 90w and gone back to columbus or visited Caitlin in Chicago.
I don't know what to think about anyone or anything anymore. I guess I'm still a clusterfuck.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Can We Take The Next Hour To Talk About Me?
1. If your doctor said you were pregnant, what would you do?
wonder how it was possible
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
no, I don't really trust anyone
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
um I don't know about love but I would move just because I wanted to.
4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
not really.
5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship.
boring-ness-ocity. cheating.
6. Name someone who would do anything for you?
No one, but I don't really expect them to, either.
7. When was the last time you snuck out?
big college kids don't have to sneak out
8. Are you afraid of falling in love?
oh, absolutely.
9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?\
fuck. yes.
10. Would you stop talking to a certain someone because you hooked up with a new person?
I really don't think so. Then again, I'm not sure I entirely understand what this question means.
11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
To Chicago to visit Caitlin.
12. What did the last text message you sent say?
"its going well, bit busy sometimes but well!!" <---that was Caitlin's answer and I would just like to point out that she sent that to me and I feel special.
mine is: "That's what she said".... of course...
13. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
I don't really even know at this point
14. Fill in the blank. I like ________.
sleep. of which I am not getting any.
15. What are your goals in life?
Die young. Be happy at some point. Make lots of money. Avoid commitment.
17. When you get married, how would you envision your dream wedding
erm well sadly even though I don't ever plan on doing something so foolhardy, I did plan it but it's intricate and only Marissa Petroff can fully understand and appreciate it.
18. If you could say just one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
That's what she said.
19. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended period of time, name some people you would call?
um. Elizabeth. Caitlin. Kristen. Lyla (and the Mouranys in general). my suitemates.
20. How many kids do you want to have?
probably none.
21. Would you make a good parent?
hahaha absolutely not.
22. Where is your default picture taken?
well seeing as this is a myspace survey, the answer is: I took it of myself in September right after I got my hairs did. I don't even look remotely like that at this point.
23. What is your middle name?
lynne
24. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
um. good question.
25. Honestly, how much do you like your crush?
um good question.
27. Honestly, what's on your mind right now??
how much I want to sleep but how I have this wierd feeling of anxiety that I can't shake that's freaking me out.
28. Are you musical?
guitar hero?
29. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
um well I wouldn't say no.
30. Shoe size:
tenish
31. What are you wearing right now?
my pink tank top that matches my pajamas.
32. Righty or lefty:
derecha
33. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
yeah probably.
34. Best place to go for a date:
you know. I've never really been on a DATE per se. But not the movies.
35. Favorite jeans:
um my Silver jeans I got for supersale at Von Maur
37. Favorite animal:
ermmmm that's tough. Goats?
38. Favorite month:
December
39. Favorite juice:
um not a huge juice fan. Grapefruit I guess.
40. Have you had the chicken pox?:
in the first grade
41. Have you had a sore throat?
yeah for sure I was sick as hell all during spring break
42. Have you had plastic surgery?:
nooo but I should get some because I iz fugly.
43. Who knows you the best?
Elizabeth probably. Maybe Kristen. Maybe Caitlin.
45. Do you get along with your family?:
I don't know about get along with.
44. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
actually I'm wearing my glasses right now and it's so wierd.
46. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
this one time sparky ate my favourite blue hat and I was FURIOUS
47. Been to Mexico?
no, lo siento. Solo a espana.
48. Did you talk to someone you like today?
well sure. I just had a nice convo with jen about an hour ago, I like her.
49. Did you buy something today?
meal swipe food?
50. Did you get sick today?
no but I"m still coughing up phlem like you wouldn't believe
51. Did you talk to an ex today?
haha no way
52. Do you miss someone today?
actually I kind of missed my friends back home.
53. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
nope
54. Last person to sleep in your bed?
me?
55. What was the last TV show you watched?
oh god I probably haven't watched any TV shows since House on Tuesday
56. What are your plans for the weekend?
um tomorrow... aka in five hours... we're going to Jefferson city to go outlet shopping. Then lots of studying. Then Sunday I'm seeing Motion City at Newport
57. Are you in love?
haha. No.
wonder how it was possible
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
no, I don't really trust anyone
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
um I don't know about love but I would move just because I wanted to.
4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
not really.
5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship.
boring-ness-ocity. cheating.
6. Name someone who would do anything for you?
No one, but I don't really expect them to, either.
7. When was the last time you snuck out?
big college kids don't have to sneak out
8. Are you afraid of falling in love?
oh, absolutely.
9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?\
fuck. yes.
10. Would you stop talking to a certain someone because you hooked up with a new person?
I really don't think so. Then again, I'm not sure I entirely understand what this question means.
11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
To Chicago to visit Caitlin.
12. What did the last text message you sent say?
"its going well, bit busy sometimes but well!!" <---that was Caitlin's answer and I would just like to point out that she sent that to me and I feel special.
mine is: "That's what she said".... of course...
13. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
I don't really even know at this point
14. Fill in the blank. I like ________.
sleep. of which I am not getting any.
15. What are your goals in life?
Die young. Be happy at some point. Make lots of money. Avoid commitment.
17. When you get married, how would you envision your dream wedding
erm well sadly even though I don't ever plan on doing something so foolhardy, I did plan it but it's intricate and only Marissa Petroff can fully understand and appreciate it.
18. If you could say just one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
That's what she said.
19. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended period of time, name some people you would call?
um. Elizabeth. Caitlin. Kristen. Lyla (and the Mouranys in general). my suitemates.
20. How many kids do you want to have?
probably none.
21. Would you make a good parent?
hahaha absolutely not.
22. Where is your default picture taken?
well seeing as this is a myspace survey, the answer is: I took it of myself in September right after I got my hairs did. I don't even look remotely like that at this point.
23. What is your middle name?
lynne
24. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
um. good question.
25. Honestly, how much do you like your crush?
um good question.
27. Honestly, what's on your mind right now??
how much I want to sleep but how I have this wierd feeling of anxiety that I can't shake that's freaking me out.
28. Are you musical?
guitar hero?
29. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
um well I wouldn't say no.
30. Shoe size:
tenish
31. What are you wearing right now?
my pink tank top that matches my pajamas.
32. Righty or lefty:
derecha
33. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
yeah probably.
34. Best place to go for a date:
you know. I've never really been on a DATE per se. But not the movies.
35. Favorite jeans:
um my Silver jeans I got for supersale at Von Maur
37. Favorite animal:
ermmmm that's tough. Goats?
38. Favorite month:
December
39. Favorite juice:
um not a huge juice fan. Grapefruit I guess.
40. Have you had the chicken pox?:
in the first grade
41. Have you had a sore throat?
yeah for sure I was sick as hell all during spring break
42. Have you had plastic surgery?:
nooo but I should get some because I iz fugly.
43. Who knows you the best?
Elizabeth probably. Maybe Kristen. Maybe Caitlin.
45. Do you get along with your family?:
I don't know about get along with.
44. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
actually I'm wearing my glasses right now and it's so wierd.
46. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
this one time sparky ate my favourite blue hat and I was FURIOUS
47. Been to Mexico?
no, lo siento. Solo a espana.
48. Did you talk to someone you like today?
well sure. I just had a nice convo with jen about an hour ago, I like her.
49. Did you buy something today?
meal swipe food?
50. Did you get sick today?
no but I"m still coughing up phlem like you wouldn't believe
51. Did you talk to an ex today?
haha no way
52. Do you miss someone today?
actually I kind of missed my friends back home.
53. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
nope
54. Last person to sleep in your bed?
me?
55. What was the last TV show you watched?
oh god I probably haven't watched any TV shows since House on Tuesday
56. What are your plans for the weekend?
um tomorrow... aka in five hours... we're going to Jefferson city to go outlet shopping. Then lots of studying. Then Sunday I'm seeing Motion City at Newport
57. Are you in love?
haha. No.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Surrender, Surrender
At this point, between Elaine and I, we've been playing guitar hero for like four hours. It's really pathetic. I suppose it's better than the chemistry studying I ought to be doing right now anyway.
Tomorrow (aka later today?) we're going to Jefferson City Outlet Mall! Woo hoo!
This evening I cleaned. A lot. Like Jen and I got OCD and rearranged the common room entirely. Actually it's much nicer now, so we're kind of bummed we didn't design this new layout until three weeks before school gets out. It's much cozier now... though Elyse pointed out that Houe nights (aka night... there's only one more episode left, two weeks from now) are going to be a lot more crowded. She has a valid point. But it's still nicer. Plus you don't have to walk in front of people watching TV (read: playing guitar hero) anymore.
But anyway I also sort of pre-packed for Memorial Day. I took down my posters and my photos and packed up my pleasure books (no, not as perverted as you're thinking... just the books that I never really had time to read this year) and threw out some stuff that didn't need to be in here anymore. It looks so bare now, without my "funnest diseases" and "cristil meth buttsecks" pictures coloured by my friends. It's sort of sad that we're all leaving. It wasn't until spring quarter that we all really solidified and now we're hauling off back to hell... er, home. It depresses me. I don't want to go home. I'm perfectly content with being this distant from my family. Which is now just my parents and I, seeing as the great aunt and uncle died over the last month. Which is sad? I mean it is, but they were old. So it's okay. They lived full, happy lives, I am sure.
Plus I don't fancy the idea of just up and leaving here. There's been so many ties made and I feel like just leaving and going 250 miles away all of sudden will just suddenly break those ties. And that's never a good thing. Even though I move on past things fairly easily, I still like closure. And I'm afraid that some of the friends I've made this year, I'm just going to go home and when I come back it will kind of be like we weren't friends at all because I won't see them, the one negative about this huge campus. But I guess in foresight that idea bothers me a lot more than it really will in hindsight. That's how things tend to be with me.
I have also come to believe more assuredly than ever that I'm a terrible person, thanks to something Jen informed me of. I mean. Oh, nevermind whatever.
I guess I'm a clusterfuck.
Tomorrow (aka later today?) we're going to Jefferson City Outlet Mall! Woo hoo!
This evening I cleaned. A lot. Like Jen and I got OCD and rearranged the common room entirely. Actually it's much nicer now, so we're kind of bummed we didn't design this new layout until three weeks before school gets out. It's much cozier now... though Elyse pointed out that Houe nights (aka night... there's only one more episode left, two weeks from now) are going to be a lot more crowded. She has a valid point. But it's still nicer. Plus you don't have to walk in front of people watching TV (read: playing guitar hero) anymore.
But anyway I also sort of pre-packed for Memorial Day. I took down my posters and my photos and packed up my pleasure books (no, not as perverted as you're thinking... just the books that I never really had time to read this year) and threw out some stuff that didn't need to be in here anymore. It looks so bare now, without my "funnest diseases" and "cristil meth buttsecks" pictures coloured by my friends. It's sort of sad that we're all leaving. It wasn't until spring quarter that we all really solidified and now we're hauling off back to hell... er, home. It depresses me. I don't want to go home. I'm perfectly content with being this distant from my family. Which is now just my parents and I, seeing as the great aunt and uncle died over the last month. Which is sad? I mean it is, but they were old. So it's okay. They lived full, happy lives, I am sure.
Plus I don't fancy the idea of just up and leaving here. There's been so many ties made and I feel like just leaving and going 250 miles away all of sudden will just suddenly break those ties. And that's never a good thing. Even though I move on past things fairly easily, I still like closure. And I'm afraid that some of the friends I've made this year, I'm just going to go home and when I come back it will kind of be like we weren't friends at all because I won't see them, the one negative about this huge campus. But I guess in foresight that idea bothers me a lot more than it really will in hindsight. That's how things tend to be with me.
I have also come to believe more assuredly than ever that I'm a terrible person, thanks to something Jen informed me of. I mean. Oh, nevermind whatever.
I guess I'm a clusterfuck.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Rock This Town
Basically I haven't posted in a while but it doesn't matter because no one reads this so who cares.
Anyway the reason I've been gone is a) I haven't been thinking as much (due to a myriad of reasons that we won't get into) and b) the weather is positively gorgeous, though not tonight, because the humidity is, I swear, 97% and I couldn't breathe when we left the RPAC. I mean, okay, that may have been the teberculosis in my lungs, as well, but... well, details, details...
Today in chem lab I decided not to do anything but play with concentrated acid, which is as bad of an idea as it sounds, but it just makes your metalware so CLEAN, I can't HELP it. Anyhoo, while boiling water to make shiny maroon crack (vs. the shiny purple crack from h201) I decided to clean said metalware with the concentrated hydrochloric acid. It worked super for my forcepts and that scissor-grabby thing and the scoooooooopula and the spatula, but not so great for the test tube holder. See, here's what happens when you put a test tube holder in 16 M HNO3: first it bubbles. Then it turns pink, then gold, though you can't see it, because the holder is dipped into the acid, which has turned into a bright green solution, which is bubbling violently and producing thick, nice, toxic orange-brown fumes. And when you're done, there is very very very little of the test tube holder actually remaining. So, now you know.
But anyway the weather is beautiful. Sunshine is nice... in moderation. I wish it would thunderstorm. Then again, even if it did, I wouldn't notice because I live in a cement cell with a square foot of unopenable window. Oh, and it's seventy-five degrees ferenhieght (and now you know why I use celcius... I can spell it) in this room, so it's not even like I can get relief from the fucking summer heat. And it's even warmer in the bedroom, and no, not for whatever perverted reasons you're thinking, but because there isn't a fan in there, wheras I have my nice little Zippi here. But hey, the sun is nice, and I was getting tired of wearing my peacoat.
P.S. I'm getting disgustingly good at Guitar Hero and got over 222,000 on Message In a Bottle tonight. I even beat Elaine! So proud!
Anyway the reason I've been gone is a) I haven't been thinking as much (due to a myriad of reasons that we won't get into) and b) the weather is positively gorgeous, though not tonight, because the humidity is, I swear, 97% and I couldn't breathe when we left the RPAC. I mean, okay, that may have been the teberculosis in my lungs, as well, but... well, details, details...
Today in chem lab I decided not to do anything but play with concentrated acid, which is as bad of an idea as it sounds, but it just makes your metalware so CLEAN, I can't HELP it. Anyhoo, while boiling water to make shiny maroon crack (vs. the shiny purple crack from h201) I decided to clean said metalware with the concentrated hydrochloric acid. It worked super for my forcepts and that scissor-grabby thing and the scoooooooopula and the spatula, but not so great for the test tube holder. See, here's what happens when you put a test tube holder in 16 M HNO3: first it bubbles. Then it turns pink, then gold, though you can't see it, because the holder is dipped into the acid, which has turned into a bright green solution, which is bubbling violently and producing thick, nice, toxic orange-brown fumes. And when you're done, there is very very very little of the test tube holder actually remaining. So, now you know.
But anyway the weather is beautiful. Sunshine is nice... in moderation. I wish it would thunderstorm. Then again, even if it did, I wouldn't notice because I live in a cement cell with a square foot of unopenable window. Oh, and it's seventy-five degrees ferenhieght (and now you know why I use celcius... I can spell it) in this room, so it's not even like I can get relief from the fucking summer heat. And it's even warmer in the bedroom, and no, not for whatever perverted reasons you're thinking, but because there isn't a fan in there, wheras I have my nice little Zippi here. But hey, the sun is nice, and I was getting tired of wearing my peacoat.
P.S. I'm getting disgustingly good at Guitar Hero and got over 222,000 on Message In a Bottle tonight. I even beat Elaine! So proud!
Thursday, May 03, 2007
It's Never Lupus
Ew. I'm so sick. We're talking "hanging-over-the-trash-can-but-not-for-my-vomit-but-rather-my-mucus" sick. I'm hacking and coughing and I feel exhausted even though I haven't had to do much today. But I can't sleep, I tried, but laying down causes all the mucusy delight to coagulate in my lungs and then I just feel like I'm suffocating. It's seriously awful.
Even though Katelyn maintains that I did not get it from her, I have heard her staying up at night coughing a little bit, so I know she plays a role. But I can't help but think that my own stress plays a part in it as well. That chem exam, for example, was brutal. My chem professor only got a 70% on it. Clearly, I did not do so hot. And I studied (read: crammed) forever for it. I mean honestly I was doing the reading at least a week in advance. I feel like I shouldn't have done SO terribly on it, but I did.
Then, of course, there's the emotional stress I have been forcing myself to go through. I don't know why I'm even bothering anymore, it's been well over two weeks and here I am, still... pondering. I think I just spend way too much of my time thinking and not enough time doing. And it's too late now, it's not like I'm going to do anything now. I've waited too long and I know it's too late and I don't know what I would do anyway, because I'm a stupid female who can't make decisions. Yeah, that's right, that's me.
I can't decide what to do about this illness even. I mean it's pretty bad, I've been coughing like this since forever- though I wasn't this bad before- and I don't know if it's just a cold that's wreaking havoc because I'm stressed and have a weak immune system or if there's something seriously wrong.
Blech I'm sick of this. I don't know how I feel about school almost being over. I don't want to leave here, but I need a break from the actual "school" thing. I think I'm going to shower and see if I feel okay enough to sleep.
Erg. I'm sorry.
Even though Katelyn maintains that I did not get it from her, I have heard her staying up at night coughing a little bit, so I know she plays a role. But I can't help but think that my own stress plays a part in it as well. That chem exam, for example, was brutal. My chem professor only got a 70% on it. Clearly, I did not do so hot. And I studied (read: crammed) forever for it. I mean honestly I was doing the reading at least a week in advance. I feel like I shouldn't have done SO terribly on it, but I did.
Then, of course, there's the emotional stress I have been forcing myself to go through. I don't know why I'm even bothering anymore, it's been well over two weeks and here I am, still... pondering. I think I just spend way too much of my time thinking and not enough time doing. And it's too late now, it's not like I'm going to do anything now. I've waited too long and I know it's too late and I don't know what I would do anyway, because I'm a stupid female who can't make decisions. Yeah, that's right, that's me.
I can't decide what to do about this illness even. I mean it's pretty bad, I've been coughing like this since forever- though I wasn't this bad before- and I don't know if it's just a cold that's wreaking havoc because I'm stressed and have a weak immune system or if there's something seriously wrong.
Blech I'm sick of this. I don't know how I feel about school almost being over. I don't want to leave here, but I need a break from the actual "school" thing. I think I'm going to shower and see if I feel okay enough to sleep.
Erg. I'm sorry.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Smoke on the Water
Okay, I actually have a brief amusing anecdote for everyone tonight. However, it's difficult to type for two reasons, though they are related. The first is that I can't see because my eyes are prectically bleeding after hours and hours "ripping sweet shreds" on guitar hero I and II, which Nate stupidly left in our common room. The second is that because I have been playing this game, my fingers feel funny. Lame, I know, yet sadly true.
Anyway anecdote! Story time!
Jen and I were coming back from Dustin's concert (we got cheesey fries and shakes at steak and shake SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD) and we went to get on the elevator, and there were three people on it already, and they were holding it for us, and then eventually we held it for someone else. Anyway the point is, there was also this huge duffle bag on the elevator. One of the girls asked whose it was, and the guy on the lift said, "I dunno it was just there." I didn't know whether to believe him or not, but it didn't matter because Jen then said, "oh, gawd there's probably a body in it or something" and that's when it started moving. I started laughing and cried, "oh my god there IS someone in there!!" and the other two girls sort of gasped and the guy who was on there originally said, "open it up" and jen just responded, "no thanks" and we just got off at 17 like we intended. Yet, it was funny. I wonder how drunk I'd have to be before I left people put me in a duffle bag and leave me on the elevator. Actually probably not very...
Anyway I have vast amounts of things to do, none of which are getting done thanks to guitar hero. Hopefully the cabin is peaceful. However I doubt that it will be, seeing as Darren and Eric will be there.
Anyway seeing as I have massive amounts of things to accomplish tomorrow I need to sleep. Cheers.
Anyway anecdote! Story time!
Jen and I were coming back from Dustin's concert (we got cheesey fries and shakes at steak and shake SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD) and we went to get on the elevator, and there were three people on it already, and they were holding it for us, and then eventually we held it for someone else. Anyway the point is, there was also this huge duffle bag on the elevator. One of the girls asked whose it was, and the guy on the lift said, "I dunno it was just there." I didn't know whether to believe him or not, but it didn't matter because Jen then said, "oh, gawd there's probably a body in it or something" and that's when it started moving. I started laughing and cried, "oh my god there IS someone in there!!" and the other two girls sort of gasped and the guy who was on there originally said, "open it up" and jen just responded, "no thanks" and we just got off at 17 like we intended. Yet, it was funny. I wonder how drunk I'd have to be before I left people put me in a duffle bag and leave me on the elevator. Actually probably not very...
Anyway I have vast amounts of things to do, none of which are getting done thanks to guitar hero. Hopefully the cabin is peaceful. However I doubt that it will be, seeing as Darren and Eric will be there.
Anyway seeing as I have massive amounts of things to accomplish tomorrow I need to sleep. Cheers.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Those Crazy Messed Up Things That You Do
Basically I should just give up on sleeping. I can never seem to do it anymore. I mean, granted, I actually slept a bit today. But only for short periods of time. And I did sleep in and skip chem, and I don't really know why I bothered. I guess just to do scheduling, and because I got up, on time and just thought, "You know what? No, thanks. I haven't missed any other ones. I'm just going to stay in and sleep an extra two hours." Which, don't worry, I didn't. Because that would be too much to ask of the gods of sleep.
So here I am, 2:20 am and I have to be up at 7:30 and I'm screwed. I did Spanish homework, I started English for Thursday (though I cannot finish, as I have to work on it with Chelsea again for our presentation). I can't study for calc (not that I really would) because Elaine's midterm is tomorrow so she has the book. And I'm sort of kind of caught up with chem for now. But I have to do that stupid lab more tomorrow. Honestly. That's what hell is. Chem H203 lab 25. I guarantee it.
Anyhoo and just to make things that much more annoying, my brain hurts because it's always thinking. I know that sounds stupid, but really, there's always so much on my mind I can't seem to relax. Even while watching House tonight I was running through all the things I need to do. That may have been because tonight's episode wasn't so great, but still. I have to get to Target, to finish this English project, go to the RPAC (which I skipped tonight in the hopes that I would get to bed early), study calc, read chem, make a phone call, work out details on summer employment, on housing next year, all in between stressing about what I'm goig to be doing for the rest of my life- which, after scheduling today, I don't think will be much longer. Mis clases son:
Chem H221 Analytical Chemistry
Chem 251 Organic Chemistry Lecture
Physics 131 Particles in motion
Spanish 401 Advanced Grammar
Honestly. Anyone who kills me can have all my stuff. They deserve it for doing a service both to myself and to society at large. Maybe I should become a meterologist. I don't really look good enough to be on TV, but maybe if I work my ass off I could afford some plastic surgery.
On the bright side, Calculus didn't suck and I did decently on my midterm... you know, relative to everyone else... Now if only I can pass next week's chem midterm.
It's starting to look like I'm going to spend all weekend studying. Even the part when we go up to Chelsea's cabin in the middle of nowhere. I mean I guess there won't be that much else to do, besides trying not to get raped by Eric or whatever. So I might as well study for chem, right?
Shiiiiiit I want to sleep but I can't stop thinking and even writing in this stupid blog (which I realize is over four years old at this point) isn't helping tonight. I shouldn't nap. I should just learn to accept the fact that sleep is... not for me.
Oh, but I love it so. And it's no fair. Katelyn sleeps alllllll the time. I swear to god everytime I get back from a four hour (or two in the afternoon) block of class, she's asleep, and I just have to sit down and do more work. Matame. How come I got the roommate who has no problems with sleep? Maybe she's using some type of sinister magic to take my sleeping abilities away from me.
Anyway since this isn't helping, I'm going to stop wasting valuable space on the internet and just go to bed. If anyone actually reads this, comment on it. It'll give me something to do.
So here I am, 2:20 am and I have to be up at 7:30 and I'm screwed. I did Spanish homework, I started English for Thursday (though I cannot finish, as I have to work on it with Chelsea again for our presentation). I can't study for calc (not that I really would) because Elaine's midterm is tomorrow so she has the book. And I'm sort of kind of caught up with chem for now. But I have to do that stupid lab more tomorrow. Honestly. That's what hell is. Chem H203 lab 25. I guarantee it.
Anyhoo and just to make things that much more annoying, my brain hurts because it's always thinking. I know that sounds stupid, but really, there's always so much on my mind I can't seem to relax. Even while watching House tonight I was running through all the things I need to do. That may have been because tonight's episode wasn't so great, but still. I have to get to Target, to finish this English project, go to the RPAC (which I skipped tonight in the hopes that I would get to bed early), study calc, read chem, make a phone call, work out details on summer employment, on housing next year, all in between stressing about what I'm goig to be doing for the rest of my life- which, after scheduling today, I don't think will be much longer. Mis clases son:
Chem H221 Analytical Chemistry
Chem 251 Organic Chemistry Lecture
Physics 131 Particles in motion
Spanish 401 Advanced Grammar
Honestly. Anyone who kills me can have all my stuff. They deserve it for doing a service both to myself and to society at large. Maybe I should become a meterologist. I don't really look good enough to be on TV, but maybe if I work my ass off I could afford some plastic surgery.
On the bright side, Calculus didn't suck and I did decently on my midterm... you know, relative to everyone else... Now if only I can pass next week's chem midterm.
It's starting to look like I'm going to spend all weekend studying. Even the part when we go up to Chelsea's cabin in the middle of nowhere. I mean I guess there won't be that much else to do, besides trying not to get raped by Eric or whatever. So I might as well study for chem, right?
Shiiiiiit I want to sleep but I can't stop thinking and even writing in this stupid blog (which I realize is over four years old at this point) isn't helping tonight. I shouldn't nap. I should just learn to accept the fact that sleep is... not for me.
Oh, but I love it so. And it's no fair. Katelyn sleeps alllllll the time. I swear to god everytime I get back from a four hour (or two in the afternoon) block of class, she's asleep, and I just have to sit down and do more work. Matame. How come I got the roommate who has no problems with sleep? Maybe she's using some type of sinister magic to take my sleeping abilities away from me.
Anyway since this isn't helping, I'm going to stop wasting valuable space on the internet and just go to bed. If anyone actually reads this, comment on it. It'll give me something to do.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
so sad to say
OKay well since I never really have anything interesting to say, I'm just going to do one of these, not that you care, because there is no YOU, no one reads this. Also I hate copying and pasting onto blogger.
21 of the MOST Spontaneous Questions Ever, BE HONEST
1. Where will you be in a hour? math recitation, baker hall
2. Who will be your next kiss? oh why don't you tell me oh god of my terrible relationship status
3. Is there something purple within 10 feet of you? cini-mini cruch box
4. Are you wearing socks right now? not at all. It's nice out. I'm doing the flip flop thing.
5. When was the last time you went out of the state? ummmm. Not since I went to Chicago during christmas I suppose
6. Have you been to the movies in the last 7 days?nein
7. What was the last thing you had to drink? I guess the milk from my cereal
8. What are you wearing right now? uh.... jeans and a t-shirt? It's only college
9. What was your last purchase? I don't even know. but it was probably from Target
10. What's the last thing you wrote down? call numbers for the classes I registered for about fifteen minutes ago
11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? lyla because I was stalking her at north commons
12. Need a break? no not really. I sort of wish school just went on for forever
13. Have you ever owned a fish tank? yes but it now houses Luke's gerbils
14. What's the last time you watched a hockey game? senior year at some point I am sure
15. What is in your pocket right now? nothing
16. If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you be? Chicago!!!!
17. What friend has the kinkiest piercing(s)? heather<---haha that's Elizabeth's answer and I have to concur.
18. One thing you hate about yourself? myself. Too vague? read the last eighteen posts and you'll probably understand
19. Do you miss anyone? god I just don't KNOW
20. What are your plans for the day? um actually attend the rest of my classes. Phone interview. HOUSE. rpac. the usual for a tuesday
21. What do you want right now? for my life to resolve itself.
21 of the MOST Spontaneous Questions Ever, BE HONEST
1. Where will you be in a hour? math recitation, baker hall
2. Who will be your next kiss? oh why don't you tell me oh god of my terrible relationship status
3. Is there something purple within 10 feet of you? cini-mini cruch box
4. Are you wearing socks right now? not at all. It's nice out. I'm doing the flip flop thing.
5. When was the last time you went out of the state? ummmm. Not since I went to Chicago during christmas I suppose
6. Have you been to the movies in the last 7 days?nein
7. What was the last thing you had to drink? I guess the milk from my cereal
8. What are you wearing right now? uh.... jeans and a t-shirt? It's only college
9. What was your last purchase? I don't even know. but it was probably from Target
10. What's the last thing you wrote down? call numbers for the classes I registered for about fifteen minutes ago
11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? lyla because I was stalking her at north commons
12. Need a break? no not really. I sort of wish school just went on for forever
13. Have you ever owned a fish tank? yes but it now houses Luke's gerbils
14. What's the last time you watched a hockey game? senior year at some point I am sure
15. What is in your pocket right now? nothing
16. If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you be? Chicago!!!!
17. What friend has the kinkiest piercing(s)? heather<---haha that's Elizabeth's answer and I have to concur.
18. One thing you hate about yourself? myself. Too vague? read the last eighteen posts and you'll probably understand
19. Do you miss anyone? god I just don't KNOW
20. What are your plans for the day? um actually attend the rest of my classes. Phone interview. HOUSE. rpac. the usual for a tuesday
21. What do you want right now? for my life to resolve itself.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Sips Another Rum and Coke
oh sigh angst angst angst. I don't really know why I write in here except that it makes me feel the slightest bit better to express myself through words. I guess it helps me de-jumble a little before bed. Honestly I've been sleeping better since I resumed writing in here. I figure that's a good thing. A definate plus. Then again, I've also been sleeping better probably because I have been laying out all day, and the sun saps the energy right out of me. Yet, it is so beautiful I don't know how I'm supposed to resist. And the best part is, I actually got work done, in the form of an entire chapter of chemistry read. That's impressive if I do say so myself. And my spanish is actually done for tomorrow, in case I have to nap. Which would probably be a good idea, as tomorrow night we're going to look at the house to like check dimensions or some such thing like that. Anyway, it'll be a nice distraction from doing all this work I've had.
Unfortunately, tomorrow means going back to doing that stupid stupid stupid analytical chemistry lab. I hate hate hate hate it. I'm halfway through the first half of the known section of group three. The fact that I have to describe my progress like that tells you just how bad it is. And it's bad. And I finally stopped having yellow fingers (aka my skin peeled off- details, details) and now I'm just going to be all sulphur-y again. Piss piss piss.
So this driving around High Street blasting Journey seems to be becoming a regular thing and I have absolutely no problem with that. It's making us so many friends- like the guy in the elevator today. After we seranaded him outside, he wound up getting on the lift same as us, and of course my parting words to him were, "Hold on to that feeling." I bet that makes me SO popular. Among my many other wonderous traits that lead me to work so well with other people.
I also have been doing work on my schedule and I want to kill myself. It's probably a better solution than all this "learning" that seems to be in store. And could someone please explain why Analytical Chemistry entails two four hour labs a week? Because that just seems rediculous.
Anyway the sun has drained me, I'm going to bed, with my killer headache. I'm not sure if it's from a sugar high from Coldstone ice cream, or from the stress of repressing and ignoring things for a week now. My guess is both. In any case, I'm pathetically addicted to painkillers (OTC, though, I'm not cool enough to be like House) and about to pass out. Cheers.
Unfortunately, tomorrow means going back to doing that stupid stupid stupid analytical chemistry lab. I hate hate hate hate it. I'm halfway through the first half of the known section of group three. The fact that I have to describe my progress like that tells you just how bad it is. And it's bad. And I finally stopped having yellow fingers (aka my skin peeled off- details, details) and now I'm just going to be all sulphur-y again. Piss piss piss.
So this driving around High Street blasting Journey seems to be becoming a regular thing and I have absolutely no problem with that. It's making us so many friends- like the guy in the elevator today. After we seranaded him outside, he wound up getting on the lift same as us, and of course my parting words to him were, "Hold on to that feeling." I bet that makes me SO popular. Among my many other wonderous traits that lead me to work so well with other people.
I also have been doing work on my schedule and I want to kill myself. It's probably a better solution than all this "learning" that seems to be in store. And could someone please explain why Analytical Chemistry entails two four hour labs a week? Because that just seems rediculous.
Anyway the sun has drained me, I'm going to bed, with my killer headache. I'm not sure if it's from a sugar high from Coldstone ice cream, or from the stress of repressing and ignoring things for a week now. My guess is both. In any case, I'm pathetically addicted to painkillers (OTC, though, I'm not cool enough to be like House) and about to pass out. Cheers.
Five MInutes To Midnight
Today was simply lovely. I mean, it didn't quite have that surreal feeling of driving down High Street with the air cooling my face singing, "Don't Stop Believin'" but it was pretty good all the same. I laid outside on the hill, spread out beneath my dorm with my books and my iPod and Jen and Chelsea, and I studied chem (and yes, I did study a lot, almost twelve sections worth, notes included) and watched the steady dribble of people as they walked across the path in front of my dorm towards their destination- the spring scrimmage, which I had no desire to attend (even if I did get a ticket, I realized I don't much like football and I was better off being productive) so I didn't. We did have a few listens to Journey, unfortunately none of the passer-bys said, "hey is that journey?!" in the style of the Family Guy scene. It was disappointing. But still fun. I even absorbed some UV light, which to me is a good thing. I mean, I want to die young anyway, why not skin cancer?
I also had the nice advantage of catching up with Nina tonight. I haven't seen her in just ages and ages so it was nice to see her again.
Nothing else particularly exciting. I have furthered my theory that if you ignore things they will eventually go away. I mean, okay, technically that's like concious repression, but hey whatever. So one day I'll go crazy and jump off into the Olentangy. No big deal, no one will particularly miss me after a few days. That's not even emo, it's just a fact. People learn to move on. Especially me, I'm not really worht remembering.
Typing feels nice and I cannot explain why. I just sort of like typing, it's like the words are taking me to come destination and the more and faster I type the quicker I will reach the destination. But words can't really take you anywhere, except maybe to a revalation. It's only action that gets people anywhere in life, right?
I think I killed my last chance at things for a while. I guess I have nothing left except the knowlege that next year I'm going to want to die because I've looked at my schedule and even though it's only 18 hours it makes me want to die- Analytical chemistry, Spanish linguistics and advanced grammar, ochem lecture I, and phisics 111. kill me kill me kill me. I am obviously better off dead anyway.
Oh well. Time to sleep. Hopefully the three (generic) alieve I just swallowed will keep my muscles from atrophing in my sleep. I'm not really sure what the progressive form of that verb is, so cut me some slack.
I also had the nice advantage of catching up with Nina tonight. I haven't seen her in just ages and ages so it was nice to see her again.
Nothing else particularly exciting. I have furthered my theory that if you ignore things they will eventually go away. I mean, okay, technically that's like concious repression, but hey whatever. So one day I'll go crazy and jump off into the Olentangy. No big deal, no one will particularly miss me after a few days. That's not even emo, it's just a fact. People learn to move on. Especially me, I'm not really worht remembering.
Typing feels nice and I cannot explain why. I just sort of like typing, it's like the words are taking me to come destination and the more and faster I type the quicker I will reach the destination. But words can't really take you anywhere, except maybe to a revalation. It's only action that gets people anywhere in life, right?
I think I killed my last chance at things for a while. I guess I have nothing left except the knowlege that next year I'm going to want to die because I've looked at my schedule and even though it's only 18 hours it makes me want to die- Analytical chemistry, Spanish linguistics and advanced grammar, ochem lecture I, and phisics 111. kill me kill me kill me. I am obviously better off dead anyway.
Oh well. Time to sleep. Hopefully the three (generic) alieve I just swallowed will keep my muscles from atrophing in my sleep. I'm not really sure what the progressive form of that verb is, so cut me some slack.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Where Were You While We Were Getting HIgh?
So yes, what did I do this fine evening of 4/20? I enjoyed my time by going to Walmart (by the way, saying I enjoyed anything but the company is a lie... I fear that horrible place soo much) and then to taco bell (bean burrito = still not a good idea) and then Dustin, Jen, and I drove up and down high street blasing Journey's timeless classic, "Don't Stop Believin'." It was really very exciting.
Shoot. I had something inspirational to say and I forget now.
Shoot. I had something inspirational to say and I forget now.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Angsty McAngsterson
Okay well originially this was going to be a brief post summing up in abstract terms how I feel but now I have something to actually concretely vent about. And that is: blogger. Sweet blogger, original, old school blogger, I miss you so. Now i have to have this stupid google thing to get on my blog. Now like, I know google will one day take over the planet and probably a few others for kicks, but why must they change the familiar? They took over YouTube and changed it, why do they have to change this? Assholes.
And also today in Spanish was sufficiently AWKWARD because we did like a match.com thing and she kept picking on me. And the boy in my group, who totally didn't listen to anything I said (not that any of us listen, we just talk so we don't get yelled at) stupidly said, "ella le gusta mucho musica de country" when I CLEARLY stated "me choca mucho musica de country" and so I could not let that slip by so I had to call him out. I simply will not allow my name and reputation to be sullied by having people think I like country- I mean honestly, it's the only form of dignity I have left. Also, he couldn't remember anything else I said at all (I mean, props for getting the country thing at least in there, even if the whole verbage was lost) and so he was like, "es simpatica?" which also clearly wasn't one of my descriptives about myself. I mean, I'm not a total liar, right? Don't answer that, it's rhetorical. But I mean, nice? Are you kidding? If I wrote an accurate description it would have been something along the lines of "soy cynica y sarcastica, no me gustan mucho otras personas, voy a quedar sola para siempre, y me choca mucho musica de country." I decided most of those things were to "un-match.com" for the class, and I didn't want to completely fail, so the only accurate statement was the "me choca mucho.." you get the idea.
If anyone who reads this (aka no one) hasn't yet noticed, my self-esteem is like dead. I plan on self-loathing and hatred for the rest of my life (I mean, I already had that covered, but we're going to kick it up a notch, n+1 on the series scale [yeah that was a disgusting reference to Calculus, I'm sorry]) and I would be best off engaging myself in school, which is pretty much all I have left. My sanity and dignity is shot to hell, and I'm not even sure how badly, but I know pretty badly.
Anyway, the real thing I wanted to say today was: How are you supposed to get other people to forgive you if you can't even forgive yourself?
And also today in Spanish was sufficiently AWKWARD because we did like a match.com thing and she kept picking on me. And the boy in my group, who totally didn't listen to anything I said (not that any of us listen, we just talk so we don't get yelled at) stupidly said, "ella le gusta mucho musica de country" when I CLEARLY stated "me choca mucho musica de country" and so I could not let that slip by so I had to call him out. I simply will not allow my name and reputation to be sullied by having people think I like country- I mean honestly, it's the only form of dignity I have left. Also, he couldn't remember anything else I said at all (I mean, props for getting the country thing at least in there, even if the whole verbage was lost) and so he was like, "es simpatica?" which also clearly wasn't one of my descriptives about myself. I mean, I'm not a total liar, right? Don't answer that, it's rhetorical. But I mean, nice? Are you kidding? If I wrote an accurate description it would have been something along the lines of "soy cynica y sarcastica, no me gustan mucho otras personas, voy a quedar sola para siempre, y me choca mucho musica de country." I decided most of those things were to "un-match.com" for the class, and I didn't want to completely fail, so the only accurate statement was the "me choca mucho.." you get the idea.
If anyone who reads this (aka no one) hasn't yet noticed, my self-esteem is like dead. I plan on self-loathing and hatred for the rest of my life (I mean, I already had that covered, but we're going to kick it up a notch, n+1 on the series scale [yeah that was a disgusting reference to Calculus, I'm sorry]) and I would be best off engaging myself in school, which is pretty much all I have left. My sanity and dignity is shot to hell, and I'm not even sure how badly, but I know pretty badly.
Anyway, the real thing I wanted to say today was: How are you supposed to get other people to forgive you if you can't even forgive yourself?
Monday, April 16, 2007
Now Who You Gonna Wave To?
wound tally:
bruises: nine (three on hands, one on arm, four on both legs, giant bump on head)
Cuts: sever gnawing marks from Jack (who is a dog, for whatever you people might think)
Internal injuries: possibly a broken nose, okay, not broken, but it definately hurts. Lots of nausea, but I don't know if that's related to last night.
other: my soul bleeds. Okay not really but thanks to today, well technically yesterday, my head is really muddled and I have no idea what is happening in this world around me (though my chemistry book tells me that it has something to do with intermolecular forces that keep my "flesh from dripping off [my] body"
I think I'm most concerned about the bruise on my arm. It's on the inside and it looks like a punchture wound and I wonder if that stupid dog bit me and now I'm going to have to have my arm sawed off, like that guy on House who had a dog bite his leg and then had to get it sawed off.
I'm so fucking tired and I can't sleep because when I lay down I have to think and thinking is unpleasant for me.
You know what's wierd? For like thirty seconds today, after I did my laundry, I wished I could go home. I mean, obviously, I immediately realized that that wouldn't do me any good at all, and would infact make me even more miserable. But still. I'm such a fucking coward, I just want to run away from everything.
bruises: nine (three on hands, one on arm, four on both legs, giant bump on head)
Cuts: sever gnawing marks from Jack (who is a dog, for whatever you people might think)
Internal injuries: possibly a broken nose, okay, not broken, but it definately hurts. Lots of nausea, but I don't know if that's related to last night.
other: my soul bleeds. Okay not really but thanks to today, well technically yesterday, my head is really muddled and I have no idea what is happening in this world around me (though my chemistry book tells me that it has something to do with intermolecular forces that keep my "flesh from dripping off [my] body"
I think I'm most concerned about the bruise on my arm. It's on the inside and it looks like a punchture wound and I wonder if that stupid dog bit me and now I'm going to have to have my arm sawed off, like that guy on House who had a dog bite his leg and then had to get it sawed off.
I'm so fucking tired and I can't sleep because when I lay down I have to think and thinking is unpleasant for me.
You know what's wierd? For like thirty seconds today, after I did my laundry, I wished I could go home. I mean, obviously, I immediately realized that that wouldn't do me any good at all, and would infact make me even more miserable. But still. I'm such a fucking coward, I just want to run away from everything.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
I've Never Been Too Good With Secrets
so you know what's really amazing?
How twenty-four hours can change your outlook on life.
What's even more amazing?
When it only takes ten minutes.
Shit-damn.
How twenty-four hours can change your outlook on life.
What's even more amazing?
When it only takes ten minutes.
Shit-damn.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Castaways and Cutouts
So today just really really sucks. Well, no, no it doesn't. The day was fine. Last night we went to Panini's and expressed ourselves through the art of dance. And I actually got some sleep today, and I went to Calculus and paid even more attention than Nate did, and then I got to start my volunteering stint at the OSU med centre. It was actually pretty okay, I mean, just celrical stuffs, but I didn't mind it, it kept me busy. After I was so tired I got my sleep on. But once I woke up, the day just went downhill. I mean I like went to Marketplace and got foodstuffs or whatever, but I don't know. I guess I didn't realize it, but things are pretty empty. Seeing as I spend Sunday-Thursday working my ass off to not fail out of school, I guess I don't notice, and I've been trying to distract myself on the weekends. But toinght was slow, I didn't do much but watch Office Space, and so I guess I got to thinking too much. Things always go poorly when I think a lot.
I mean I guess it's not that my life is boring- though it's not really thrilling, either. But I keep busy, so that's not really a problem. It's more like sometimes there's something missing. Which, you know, is my own fault for being retarded, and usually I can deal with it, but I got to thinking (as I said) and I dunno. Maybe I'm not okay with it. I will clearly get over it. But I shouldn't be so mean to people. Granted, maybe logically the things I do are better in the long run, and I don't know if I regret what happens so much as I regret how they happened.
I guess there's really no point in speculating about the past, but sometimes, on chilly spring evenings when I should be having fun and enjoying life, I'm not, and I wonder why, and I realize it's my own fault, and I wonder if I'll change and I realize I won't.
I'm so fucking emo, don't be so jealousorz.
You know, everyone else is talking about how they are looking forward to summer so much. I'm not. My summer won't be so fun. I'm taking classes (if I ever freaking sign up) and working all the days and really, I love my friends usually, but they haven't been around and I guess I feel like I'm drifting away from them, whcih sucks, but hey, it happens. Last summer was good, no, awesome, but I can't relive it. I wouldn't want to. Everyone's changed so much, I guess that's what happens after a year of college. I would say I miss it, but that's not entirely true. I wouldn't re-do it. It's a good memory, but sometimes you just have to know when to move on.
I mean I guess it's not that my life is boring- though it's not really thrilling, either. But I keep busy, so that's not really a problem. It's more like sometimes there's something missing. Which, you know, is my own fault for being retarded, and usually I can deal with it, but I got to thinking (as I said) and I dunno. Maybe I'm not okay with it. I will clearly get over it. But I shouldn't be so mean to people. Granted, maybe logically the things I do are better in the long run, and I don't know if I regret what happens so much as I regret how they happened.
I guess there's really no point in speculating about the past, but sometimes, on chilly spring evenings when I should be having fun and enjoying life, I'm not, and I wonder why, and I realize it's my own fault, and I wonder if I'll change and I realize I won't.
I'm so fucking emo, don't be so jealousorz.
You know, everyone else is talking about how they are looking forward to summer so much. I'm not. My summer won't be so fun. I'm taking classes (if I ever freaking sign up) and working all the days and really, I love my friends usually, but they haven't been around and I guess I feel like I'm drifting away from them, whcih sucks, but hey, it happens. Last summer was good, no, awesome, but I can't relive it. I wouldn't want to. Everyone's changed so much, I guess that's what happens after a year of college. I would say I miss it, but that's not entirely true. I wouldn't re-do it. It's a good memory, but sometimes you just have to know when to move on.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Will Arnet was in a Bathrobe
Elaine just said that to me and it made me happy, unlike being home, even if being home does mean that I get to watch the colbert report in peace.
And I keep doing these because I figure it doesn't matter because no one reads this. But it's annoying because I keep having to space stuff out. It's annoying. Fucking piece of shit myspace.
VALENTINES SURVEY
(yes, I'm aware it's closer to Easter)
1. do you like anyone?: I guess not.
2. do they know it?: obviously not a problem
IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU. . .
4. Had someone buy you something?: erm no I work chiefly on meal swipes these days
5. Bought something?: I bought a game at Target just yesterday
6. Had Sex: boo no.
7. Been hugged?: muahaha I hugged elaine after I smelled like old man because Dustin is a man-whore
8. Felt stupid?: oh I'm sure of it.
9. Talked to an ex?: ugh I guess awkwardly not ignoring each other on St. patty's counts.
10. Missed someone: not really, no. Maybe Caitlin and Shanni a little.
11. Failed a test: well I didn't do THAT horribly in my classes. So though I came close in chem, I guess not.
12. Ate cereal: god I love generic target brand cereals.
13. Danced crazy: muahahahaha PANINI'S!!!!!
14. Lied?: besides every time I tell my parents I don't drink, no, not really.
UNIQUE
16. Any nervous habits?: um I guess that leg twitch thing most people have
17. Are you double jointed?: only my thumbs
18. Can you roll your tongue?: I can twist it.
19. Can you raise one eyebrow?: hehehehehe teh 4man look!
20. can you cross your eyes?: indeed
21. Do you make your bed daily?: I sleep on the covers, I sort of fix it up every once in a while.
HAVE YOU EVER. . .
23. Said "I Love you" and meant it: oooooops no.
24. Given money to a homeless person?: no. not even the awesome rapping bum on High Street.
25. Waited all night for a phone call that never came?: haha no I'm not patient.
26. Broke something then tried to fix it?: probably lots of times, though my sucess rate is dubious.
27. Snuck out?: no. I was never bad ass enough, and now I don't have to.
28. Sat and looked at the stars?: yeah! yay!
29. Do you swear?: fuck no, that would be so fucking unacceptable.
30. Do you ever spit?: only when I'm like working out or something.
31. You cook your own food?: once in a while, but seeing as a live a meal plan life these days, not really so much.
32. You do your own chores?: actually I keep my dorm neat. It's not a chore anymore so like not a big deal
33. You like beef jerky?: vegetarian. still.
34. You like pepsi or coke?: I don't do coke. (or pepsi, he)
35. You're happy with your hair?: I will never be content with it!
36. Do you like who you are?: I don't know. I feel like I shouldn't be happy with me, but I guess I don't hate me, either.
37. You spend your money wisely?: Usually yes, but once in a while I splurge on something I totally do not need - like a coach purse?
38. Do you like to swim?: love to!
39. Get bored when you call a friend? sometimes. Especially with Caitlin. we get distracted from each other.
40. Are you patient?: absolutely not
DO YOU PREFER
41. flowers or chocolate: xocolate <--haha the spanish style!!! but really, it's still true
42. gray or black?: black usually, but grey is alright. And yes. It's grEy.
43. Color or black and white photos?: depends I suppose. black and white can be cool but some things need colour. that's right. coloUr
44. lust or love?: love, right? that's the right answer, right?
45. sunrise or sunset? sunset. I like the thought that the day is ending.
46. M&Ms or Skittles?: M&Ms, preferably peanut<---still true!
N0N VALENTINES DAY Q`S
1. Are you in a relationship?: nein. however, I've learned to deal with singleton. By that I mean I'm afraid of commitment.
2. If so, with who?: still nein.
3. Sign? capricorn
4. Do you believe in love at first sight? absolutely not.
5. what about true love? I'm still trying to figure out what love is. I have reason to believe it isn't real.
6. Have you made out with casual people? I'm a freshman. at collge. what do YOU think, dumb shit?
7. Would you kiss on the first date? yes?
8. Do you look for one night stands? buscar makes it sound so... whore-y. but really no.
9. Do you enjoy recieving flowers? seeing as I DON'T recieve flowers, I can't state my opinion about it.
10. Do you enjoy gifts from your girl/guy: I love gifts. I like things. I'm a materialistic whore.
++VALENTINES QUESTIONS `!!++
1. you have a valentine planned out to have? awe yeah we went to see Music & Lyrics as a suite!
2. do you like having a valentine? I haven't ever had any, not the real type.
3. does someone like you currently? nope!
4. are you even worried about the upcoming holiday? why would you worry about it? it's just another freaking day.
5. whats the best gift to recieve on the day? a lobotomy<-- I like that answer still
6.is alittle kiss during school on vday sweet? um I guess it would be if you have a valentine.
7. why is this an important holiday to couples? I really have no idea. it gives you an excuse to have sex? It's something to do in February?
8. Have you ever gotten something from someone on the day? nope. I'm a chump.
basically. yeah. I'm really bored. being home sucks extra hard. Mommy's bestest best friend (1) died (she had two) today and both my father and i are ignoring her because we don't know how to deal with that sort of shit. Well maybe he could, I don't know, but I sure hate emotions.
They're lame and cloudy and sucky.
And I keep doing these because I figure it doesn't matter because no one reads this. But it's annoying because I keep having to space stuff out. It's annoying. Fucking piece of shit myspace.
VALENTINES SURVEY
(yes, I'm aware it's closer to Easter)
1. do you like anyone?: I guess not.
2. do they know it?: obviously not a problem
IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU. . .
4. Had someone buy you something?: erm no I work chiefly on meal swipes these days
5. Bought something?: I bought a game at Target just yesterday
6. Had Sex: boo no.
7. Been hugged?: muahaha I hugged elaine after I smelled like old man because Dustin is a man-whore
8. Felt stupid?: oh I'm sure of it.
9. Talked to an ex?: ugh I guess awkwardly not ignoring each other on St. patty's counts.
10. Missed someone: not really, no. Maybe Caitlin and Shanni a little.
11. Failed a test: well I didn't do THAT horribly in my classes. So though I came close in chem, I guess not.
12. Ate cereal: god I love generic target brand cereals.
13. Danced crazy: muahahahaha PANINI'S!!!!!
14. Lied?: besides every time I tell my parents I don't drink, no, not really.
UNIQUE
16. Any nervous habits?: um I guess that leg twitch thing most people have
17. Are you double jointed?: only my thumbs
18. Can you roll your tongue?: I can twist it.
19. Can you raise one eyebrow?: hehehehehe teh 4man look!
20. can you cross your eyes?: indeed
21. Do you make your bed daily?: I sleep on the covers, I sort of fix it up every once in a while.
HAVE YOU EVER. . .
23. Said "I Love you" and meant it: oooooops no.
24. Given money to a homeless person?: no. not even the awesome rapping bum on High Street.
25. Waited all night for a phone call that never came?: haha no I'm not patient.
26. Broke something then tried to fix it?: probably lots of times, though my sucess rate is dubious.
27. Snuck out?: no. I was never bad ass enough, and now I don't have to.
28. Sat and looked at the stars?: yeah! yay!
29. Do you swear?: fuck no, that would be so fucking unacceptable.
30. Do you ever spit?: only when I'm like working out or something.
31. You cook your own food?: once in a while, but seeing as a live a meal plan life these days, not really so much.
32. You do your own chores?: actually I keep my dorm neat. It's not a chore anymore so like not a big deal
33. You like beef jerky?: vegetarian. still.
34. You like pepsi or coke?: I don't do coke. (or pepsi, he)
35. You're happy with your hair?: I will never be content with it!
36. Do you like who you are?: I don't know. I feel like I shouldn't be happy with me, but I guess I don't hate me, either.
37. You spend your money wisely?: Usually yes, but once in a while I splurge on something I totally do not need - like a coach purse?
38. Do you like to swim?: love to!
39. Get bored when you call a friend? sometimes. Especially with Caitlin. we get distracted from each other.
40. Are you patient?: absolutely not
DO YOU PREFER
41. flowers or chocolate: xocolate <--haha the spanish style!!! but really, it's still true
42. gray or black?: black usually, but grey is alright. And yes. It's grEy.
43. Color or black and white photos?: depends I suppose. black and white can be cool but some things need colour. that's right. coloUr
44. lust or love?: love, right? that's the right answer, right?
45. sunrise or sunset? sunset. I like the thought that the day is ending.
46. M&Ms or Skittles?: M&Ms, preferably peanut<---still true!
N0N VALENTINES DAY Q`S
1. Are you in a relationship?: nein. however, I've learned to deal with singleton. By that I mean I'm afraid of commitment.
2. If so, with who?: still nein.
3. Sign? capricorn
4. Do you believe in love at first sight? absolutely not.
5. what about true love? I'm still trying to figure out what love is. I have reason to believe it isn't real.
6. Have you made out with casual people? I'm a freshman. at collge. what do YOU think, dumb shit?
7. Would you kiss on the first date? yes?
8. Do you look for one night stands? buscar makes it sound so... whore-y. but really no.
9. Do you enjoy recieving flowers? seeing as I DON'T recieve flowers, I can't state my opinion about it.
10. Do you enjoy gifts from your girl/guy: I love gifts. I like things. I'm a materialistic whore.
++VALENTINES QUESTIONS `!!++
1. you have a valentine planned out to have? awe yeah we went to see Music & Lyrics as a suite!
2. do you like having a valentine? I haven't ever had any, not the real type.
3. does someone like you currently? nope!
4. are you even worried about the upcoming holiday? why would you worry about it? it's just another freaking day.
5. whats the best gift to recieve on the day? a lobotomy<-- I like that answer still
6.is alittle kiss during school on vday sweet? um I guess it would be if you have a valentine.
7. why is this an important holiday to couples? I really have no idea. it gives you an excuse to have sex? It's something to do in February?
8. Have you ever gotten something from someone on the day? nope. I'm a chump.
basically. yeah. I'm really bored. being home sucks extra hard. Mommy's bestest best friend (1) died (she had two) today and both my father and i are ignoring her because we don't know how to deal with that sort of shit. Well maybe he could, I don't know, but I sure hate emotions.
They're lame and cloudy and sucky.
Friday, March 30, 2007
She's a Very Kinky Girl...
you'll have to forgive me, that song was stuck in my head all night last night.
Anyway, one of these things because I'm bored because ::gasp:: I only have one class today!
1. First off, what's your name?
Stefanie
2. Ok, but what do people call you?
mostly just Stefanie or Stef. Elizabeth, seeing as she's been my friend so long, has the sole honour of calling me Steffi.
3. Have you ever kissed someone with braces?
As in I had braces or they did? Either way, no.
4. Who is the fourth missed call on your call log?
Colleen
5. If you could change your eye color, what would you change it to?
Maybe like bright blue or green
6. What is the wallpaper on your phone?
a picture Christian took of I90 W
7. What do you have handy at your bedside every night?
nothing, but that's only because my bedside is a two foot span of space so all I have room for is old boxes.
8. What was the last text message you sent?
asking Caitlin Anne for the Maximo Park CD
9. What color is your phone?
black. I know. Just like my soul! ::cutcutcut::
10. What was the best thing that happened to you last year?
Um summer I guess.
11. Do any of your friends annoy you?
Most of them, in fact.
12. Are cell phones allowed in your school?
seeing as I'm not in high school anymore, yes.
13. When was the last time you cried from laughing so hard?
like every day.
14. What high school did you go to?
Magnificat High School.
15. What college, if applicable?
w00t OSU!
16. Who was the last person that made you laugh?
probably Clarissa or Elaine
17. What do you like from Subway?
vegetables. But that's all I like from anywhere.
18. Who do you make fun of the most?
ummmmm probably Caitlin, Skoch, and Clarissa
19. What's the longest you've ever talked on the phone?
back in the day I"m pretty sure I listened to Megan talk for like four hours sectiosn of my life
20. Do you think you've gotten prettier since Jr. High?
well I'm fatter now but I undoubtedly have a better sense of fashion.
21. Have you seen your best friend cry?
some of them
22. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
mommy. My great aunt died on Monday and aparently no one found out until last night? Yeah my family is screwed up
23. Have you ever peed outside before?
hahaha yes. In Chicago. Cait's a bad influence.
24. Do you dance in the car?
car dancing? yes please!
25. What do you think of hunting and fishing?
boring and mildly redneck-y
26. Do you and your best friend act alike?
I don't like people who act like me (which ought to be an indicator that I should change my personality) so no.
27. What is a noise that you cannot stand?
my alarm clock.
28. Does your mom vacuum early in the morning, when you're sleeping?
I don't live with mommy anymore thank fucking god! but she never used to, either. More often it was at 6pm when I was trying to nap
29. Were your parents strict or did they let you do whatever?
they pretty much let me do whatever, but I never gave them a reason not to
30. What age did you get a cell phone?
fifteen point five.
31. Would you rather sleep at a friend's or have them over?
um well when I was little I always WANTED to go somewhere else, but my friends always came over to my house
32. Do you watch MTV?
Only MTV U when it's on in the cardio loft at the RPAC
33. Has something happened where you honestly thought you were gonna die?
well I'm still pretty convinced I have lymphoma. But not really. I was pretty sick over spring break though
34. Last time you kissed someone?
actually it's been a while but it's better that way
35. What do you smell like right now?
my shampoo a little
36. Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
yes. I do. Mostly because it happens so infrequently
37. Who was the first person you held hands with?
hahahahaha I don't like touching people
38. What shoes did you wear today?
I have my brown slipper shoes on
39. What makes you lose your appetite?
meat. the smell of the poptart that elaine just burnt, stickers (don't ask, it's a thing I have)
40. What color is your laundry basket?
my basket at home is just white, but here I have a blue polyester one
41. Does your mom make you wear a winter coat?
she never used to because she realized it was useless. Now I wear one by choice becuase i have to walk at least fifteen minutes to get anywhere.
42. Does it contain fur?
nein, it is pea-coat
43. Do you own any Abercrombie or Hollister polos?
I don't own any polos. They look stupid on me. I am not a preppy person
44. Do you think those stores are too expensive?
yeah, but I get hollister stuff for christmas anyway
45. How do you like your steak?
in boca form
46. Who's in your house right now?
that's an excellent question. I assume just my father and Sparky, but hey, you never know.
47. Where did you get your last bruise from?
I dont konw! I woke up and I have one on my hand now!
48. Where did you last go to eat?
uhhhhhhh Marketplace ice cream?
49. asd;lkfjaskldf
baxter you know i dont speak spanish.
^really, caitlin's response is just perfect!
50. What does your dad call you?
usually honey. but I hate him. so I try not to talk to him.
Anyway, one of these things because I'm bored because ::gasp:: I only have one class today!
1. First off, what's your name?
Stefanie
2. Ok, but what do people call you?
mostly just Stefanie or Stef. Elizabeth, seeing as she's been my friend so long, has the sole honour of calling me Steffi.
3. Have you ever kissed someone with braces?
As in I had braces or they did? Either way, no.
4. Who is the fourth missed call on your call log?
Colleen
5. If you could change your eye color, what would you change it to?
Maybe like bright blue or green
6. What is the wallpaper on your phone?
a picture Christian took of I90 W
7. What do you have handy at your bedside every night?
nothing, but that's only because my bedside is a two foot span of space so all I have room for is old boxes.
8. What was the last text message you sent?
asking Caitlin Anne for the Maximo Park CD
9. What color is your phone?
black. I know. Just like my soul! ::cutcutcut::
10. What was the best thing that happened to you last year?
Um summer I guess.
11. Do any of your friends annoy you?
Most of them, in fact.
12. Are cell phones allowed in your school?
seeing as I'm not in high school anymore, yes.
13. When was the last time you cried from laughing so hard?
like every day.
14. What high school did you go to?
Magnificat High School.
15. What college, if applicable?
w00t OSU!
16. Who was the last person that made you laugh?
probably Clarissa or Elaine
17. What do you like from Subway?
vegetables. But that's all I like from anywhere.
18. Who do you make fun of the most?
ummmmm probably Caitlin, Skoch, and Clarissa
19. What's the longest you've ever talked on the phone?
back in the day I"m pretty sure I listened to Megan talk for like four hours sectiosn of my life
20. Do you think you've gotten prettier since Jr. High?
well I'm fatter now but I undoubtedly have a better sense of fashion.
21. Have you seen your best friend cry?
some of them
22. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
mommy. My great aunt died on Monday and aparently no one found out until last night? Yeah my family is screwed up
23. Have you ever peed outside before?
hahaha yes. In Chicago. Cait's a bad influence.
24. Do you dance in the car?
car dancing? yes please!
25. What do you think of hunting and fishing?
boring and mildly redneck-y
26. Do you and your best friend act alike?
I don't like people who act like me (which ought to be an indicator that I should change my personality) so no.
27. What is a noise that you cannot stand?
my alarm clock.
28. Does your mom vacuum early in the morning, when you're sleeping?
I don't live with mommy anymore thank fucking god! but she never used to, either. More often it was at 6pm when I was trying to nap
29. Were your parents strict or did they let you do whatever?
they pretty much let me do whatever, but I never gave them a reason not to
30. What age did you get a cell phone?
fifteen point five.
31. Would you rather sleep at a friend's or have them over?
um well when I was little I always WANTED to go somewhere else, but my friends always came over to my house
32. Do you watch MTV?
Only MTV U when it's on in the cardio loft at the RPAC
33. Has something happened where you honestly thought you were gonna die?
well I'm still pretty convinced I have lymphoma. But not really. I was pretty sick over spring break though
34. Last time you kissed someone?
actually it's been a while but it's better that way
35. What do you smell like right now?
my shampoo a little
36. Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
yes. I do. Mostly because it happens so infrequently
37. Who was the first person you held hands with?
hahahahaha I don't like touching people
38. What shoes did you wear today?
I have my brown slipper shoes on
39. What makes you lose your appetite?
meat. the smell of the poptart that elaine just burnt, stickers (don't ask, it's a thing I have)
40. What color is your laundry basket?
my basket at home is just white, but here I have a blue polyester one
41. Does your mom make you wear a winter coat?
she never used to because she realized it was useless. Now I wear one by choice becuase i have to walk at least fifteen minutes to get anywhere.
42. Does it contain fur?
nein, it is pea-coat
43. Do you own any Abercrombie or Hollister polos?
I don't own any polos. They look stupid on me. I am not a preppy person
44. Do you think those stores are too expensive?
yeah, but I get hollister stuff for christmas anyway
45. How do you like your steak?
in boca form
46. Who's in your house right now?
that's an excellent question. I assume just my father and Sparky, but hey, you never know.
47. Where did you get your last bruise from?
I dont konw! I woke up and I have one on my hand now!
48. Where did you last go to eat?
uhhhhhhh Marketplace ice cream?
49. asd;lkfjaskldf
baxter you know i dont speak spanish.
^really, caitlin's response is just perfect!
50. What does your dad call you?
usually honey. but I hate him. so I try not to talk to him.
Friday, January 26, 2007
There's people there who will hurt you 'cause of who you are
Okay, so, I don't ever really post in here anymore, but I had a really sweet/intense dream and it's long as hell so I'm putting it in here because it actually makes sort of an interesting read. Keep in mind the whole time I was dreaming I was very consious of my choices, as though half my brain was awake and making executive decisions, while the other half was formulating a completely rediculous situation for me to deal with.
It was bright and sunny outside. I was driving in a car with Sydnie and two boys. I don't know who they were. We were in trouble. I knew why, I think, at one point, but all I remember is that the government was after us. They had framed us for something, but we were innocent and everyone knew it- even the people trying to get us. They wanted us to take the blame for whatever had happened.
So we're driving, through Westlake and Rocky River and North Olmsted and it's daytime, probably summer, and we weren't too scared... yet. The feds still only wanted to "question" us. We knew there was something deeper though and didn't want to be caught. Aparently we had been travelling for quite some time, I was hungry. Very hungry. So hungry that I called Lyla and asked that she and John would get me some Qdoba. Meanwhile, Sydnie thought we should go to Florida. Really, we just wanted out of Ohio, but why not go to Florida if you're going to go somewhere? But then on the radio we heard them mention the story, and that we were needed to "solve a case" (really they wanted us captive though, and we knew that) and that if anyone had information about our whereabouts to let them know. I pointed out to Sydnie that we could probably be held in contempt or something (I don't know, she's the one who wanted to go to law school) for leaving the state, so we shouldn't go that far.
I remember we were driving down Horseshoe, my favourite part, the double-sided road with the trees in full bloom. I remember it being very pretty outside. I went to call Lyla again because I wanted my food, but my phone (surprise, surprise) had drained through its battery very quickly. So I didn't get my Qdoba. We were going to drive by my house in order to get my car, but we realized it was being staked out. Then we were driving over a bridge- it looked like the big bridge on the way to Catawba, but we were still in Westlake. Suddenly the weather was very dull and grey, cold, with a thick fog that it was hard to see through. However, as we drove, we realized that there were police cars in front of us- their blue lights were stationary but shining through the fog- it looked like a DUI checkpoint. I advised that we just drove through it- they couldn't do anything to us, we were sober, we were innocent, and we weren't technically "wanted" yet, so we couldn't get in trouble.
We got stopped at the checkpoint. The police asked us to step out of the vehicle. They were strip-searching everyone. I remember noting other naked people on the bridge and being extremely traumatized. They sprayed us with this stuff that for some reason I knew was a techno-do-hickey. They sprayed us with microbes that were basically GPS tracking devices. I don't know how I knew that, but I did, and so I said that we should all jump in the river. Me and the two faceless boys did, but Sydnie refused because the river was too gross. (It was about the equivalent of jumping into the Olentangy) So we washed off our microbe-trackers, but she didn't, and even though I knew that was a bad call, we couldn't leave her.
We drove to Sarah's house. I'm not really sure why. It was out in BFE so I guess we figured it was safe. Only really in my dream it was Skoch's house. Sydnie went to shower, but it was too late, they had us tracked. Skoch came down from upstairs and told us the feds had found us and were on their way (I don't know how he knew). We were really upset that we got him in trouble, but he told us, "just go!" so we did. For a minutes one of the other boys was Ricky. He said, "I'm not going anywhere until I get a cigarette" and Sydnie was still showering. However, Sarah was there, and so we (as in Sarah, another faceless boy, and I) jumped into her '84 Blazer (I do have a fondness for that thing) and tried to leave the driveway. Unfortunately it was too late, the feds had already tracked Sydnie's unwashed microbes (way to go) and were pulling into the driveway right at us. Sarah said, "No fucking way," and rapidly threw her car into reverse, cut across her neighbour's backyard, and tried to leave out their driveway. However, another federal truck had started pulling up there. We all jumped out of the car (I had noticed at this point that Skoch, Sydnie, and Ricky had all been taken into custody) and ran.
I managed to get away. I was by myself now. I was runing through Sarah's neighbourhood (not that she has one in real life- but in the dream she did) trying to avoid getting caught. I ran into Charlie Roach (odd?) and he asked, "aren't you in trouble with the government or something?" I told him yes, I was, and he responded, "don't worry, I'm not goig to rat you out." He then explained that there was a creek nearby and that I could probably get away by jumping in it and floating downstream. It seemed like the best option at the time, so I took it.
There was sort of a blackout during the journey down the river- odd, seeing as the rest of this dream was in real time. Even when we were just driving or sitting in Sarah/Skoch's house (whichever, I couldn't really figure that one out) time was playing out like it would in real life. There were moments of downtime and meaningless conversation (which I don't really remember, but still)
Anyway, at the end of my river journey, which aparently went over well, I was in this strange room. It wasn't really a room, more like an outdoor porch. The river forked off in this room, but there was a big mill-type thing turning in the centre of the room, so I couldn't just flow with the river. One direction went around a dark bend, the other direction flooded under a door (there was no roof to this room, only walls). The room was very pretty- and, I'm not going to lie, somewhat Zelda-esque in a way. Everything had a pink hue to it, as though it was sunset, there were vines of flowers trailing up the walls, and the door was a big wooden one, like a castle door. Even the bricks of the walls were soft pink.
I chose to go out the door. (Yes, I remember very consiously deciding to take the door) When I left I was in Lakewood, on Clifton, only it was all decorated with garlands of flowers, and it still seemed like sunset. Caitlin Anne was there, as though she expected me. "Cait, I need somewhere to go, where can I hide?" I asked her. She told me to follow her to Shannon's. I told her I didn't want them involved, but she pointed out that I didn't have a lot of other options. So she and I walked to Shannon's. It was odd, because as soon as we were in Cleveland rather than Lakewood the garlands were gone and it was a bright, sunny day, though it seemed cooler than earlier- more like mid-spring than summertime.
At Shannons I thanked them for having me and promised to leave promptly. Shannon offered me food and since I was clearly starving, I accepted. She made me a grilled cheese, and right as she did, Renee came in the room. I sort of gasped, I didn't know if any adults would rat me out, as thus far I had only encountered my peers. However, Mrs. Copfer just winked at me and said, "I see nothing" and went to get Ronnie. Just as I was about to eat the grilled cheese, she ran back in the room and told me there was a strange van in the driveway and I'd better hide. I ran to Shanni's basement.
Once down there, there was a lot of crap on the ground, but no where to really hide. I grabbed a tablecloth or tarp of some sort and covered myself in it. It didn't really completly cover my head, but I was along the stairwell, so as long as no one looked to closely, I was safe.
While hiding I could hear the voice of the person upstairs- it was my mom. I didn't know if she would tell the feds where I was or not, or even if she was working for them, so I remained hidden. She was just mingling with Shannon and Cait when she asked, "can I see your basement?" Well, that's a suspicious question at any time, particularly now. Shannon and Caitlin brought her down and kept trying to get her to leave. She wasn't exactly poking around, but she kept picking up toys and such. Then she looked right at me. But she kept walking. I figured she was going to tell them where I was, so I got up to flee. She stopped me, "No, I just wanted to know they hadn't gotten to you yet." I nodded and asked, "do you think I did this?" (Keep in mind I'm not really sure what 'this' is...) and she said, "of course not," and left.
Almost immediately, Mrs. Copfer ran downstairs and told me that the real feds were here and I wasn't going to be safe this time. I went to hide in a different room. At first there was a huge pile of stuffed animals, and I decided to hide in them. I kept trying to burrow in them, but there were less and less stuffed animals as time went on. I ended up having to grab the pillows and hide under those.
Down the stairs came two valley girls. Okay, really they were sorority girls, but they talked like valley girls (this is the one House influence in my dream- we watched the valley girl specials yesterday). They were in the room with me in it, and Cait and Shannon kept trying to get them out, but they weren't leaving. There was no way they couldn't see me. One dropped her pen, I picked it up and handed it to her. She didn't even flinch. I realized they were clueless. Mrs. Copfer came down again then and said, "yeah, you're not so lucky- the smart guys are upstairs in my kitchen."
I was suddenly quite terrified. I didn't know how to get out of the house without walking past them (in the dream, the house was set up differently than Shannon's really is- I couldn't get out of the basement without walking through the kitchen) Finally I decided to just walk out of there like I belonged there, and hope it would take a few seconds for it to click to them that it was me.
That was exactly what I did, and it worked! Even in my dream I remember being impressed. As soon as I was out the door, I bolted- I knew they would figure it out very soonly. I ran to Shannon's next door neightbour's house- which in the dream faced the same direction as her house, which was odd. I hid under a bush, which actually would have been pretty effective, but they had a dog. As soon as it shot out the door, I realized I was screwed royally. The two guys who were after me went around the other side of Shannon's house, but the dog went right for me.
As it turns out, it wasn't an attack dog- it was just a dog with a good sense of smell I guess. It wanted to play with me once it got there. It kept barking and I kept trying to shoe it off, but it wouldn't leave. Finally I ran into Shannon's neighbour's backyard. There was a garden which went all the way from the house to their shed in the very back of their property- and it was a long stretch of land. My goal was to make it through the thin woods in the backyards and get to the lake. I figured the dog couldn't get me in the lake. So I started running through the garden (shortest distance between two points, right?) but I suddenly noticed two things simultaneously. First was that the two fed guys were coming right after me, and second was that the garden was bordered in roses- I couldn't cut through it, or I'd get cut by the thorns. I tried running around the garden, but one of those weird dream things kicked in where I couldn't run full speed. I suddenly gave up, stopped, and picked a rose, a yellow one with orange around the outside. It wasn't fully in bloom yet.
The two feds caught up to me quickly then. I was holding the rose and picking the petals off one-by-one, like someone playing, "loves me- loves me not". When they got to me, I said, very softly, "I give up." There was a blonde guy and a brunette guy. I rememebr I really didn't like the blonde one, and I had just figured the dark-haired one was a minion or whatever. But that blonde one- I hated him. He tried to grab my arms and hold them behind my back, but I snapped at him, "I want to play with my flower!" like an insolent five-year-old. I guess he figured I was serious (and I was- very much so) so he just grabbed my left arm and dragged me back to the front yard.
The three of us stood there, and other agents were coming out of the Copfer's house, along with Shannon and Caitlin and both their moms. I kept plucking my flower's petals. When it was out of petals I got very sad and dropped the stem. The blonde guy started asking, "are you going to just come with us now?" and as a response, I punched him in the face. It was a very weak punch, I was actually ashamed of myself. I kept hitting his chest and face, but not very hard. I was more annoying than deadly I suppose. The brunette guy just laughed because I clearly wasn't doing any harm. Then, very suddenly, I grabbed the blonde guy's shoulders and kneed him very, very hard in the groin. He fell to the ground. The brunett guy looked shocked at the sudden violence, so I took advantage of that and started stomping repeatedly on the blonde guy's stomach. Finally the other feds rushed over and the brunette guy pulled me off him and dragged me, alone, to the kitchen.
At this point I realized that all my friends were captured, and that my friends they weren't even after were in trouble, too, for helping me. I sat at the kitchen table. The brunette guy asked, "do I have to cuff you?" "No," I responded, "I really do give up this time." However, I was trying to figure out how I could get a car and get to the metroparks, because they'd never find me there. Before I could really formulate a plan, the blonde guy, very very pissed, walked into the kitchen and cuffed my hands behind the chair I was sitting in. "You deserve this you bitch," he said.
Then I woke up.
Another wierd thing about this whole debacle is that I knew I was sleeping but I couldn't force myself to wake up. There are several points where I thought I could wake up, and indeed opened my eyes, but I couldn't seem to break away from it. At one point I remember looking at my pillows and the wall and the window (the sun was just rising) of my dorm, but still hearing Cait and Shannon talking to me.
So basically that skitzophrenia thing is starting to catch up with me...
It was bright and sunny outside. I was driving in a car with Sydnie and two boys. I don't know who they were. We were in trouble. I knew why, I think, at one point, but all I remember is that the government was after us. They had framed us for something, but we were innocent and everyone knew it- even the people trying to get us. They wanted us to take the blame for whatever had happened.
So we're driving, through Westlake and Rocky River and North Olmsted and it's daytime, probably summer, and we weren't too scared... yet. The feds still only wanted to "question" us. We knew there was something deeper though and didn't want to be caught. Aparently we had been travelling for quite some time, I was hungry. Very hungry. So hungry that I called Lyla and asked that she and John would get me some Qdoba. Meanwhile, Sydnie thought we should go to Florida. Really, we just wanted out of Ohio, but why not go to Florida if you're going to go somewhere? But then on the radio we heard them mention the story, and that we were needed to "solve a case" (really they wanted us captive though, and we knew that) and that if anyone had information about our whereabouts to let them know. I pointed out to Sydnie that we could probably be held in contempt or something (I don't know, she's the one who wanted to go to law school) for leaving the state, so we shouldn't go that far.
I remember we were driving down Horseshoe, my favourite part, the double-sided road with the trees in full bloom. I remember it being very pretty outside. I went to call Lyla again because I wanted my food, but my phone (surprise, surprise) had drained through its battery very quickly. So I didn't get my Qdoba. We were going to drive by my house in order to get my car, but we realized it was being staked out. Then we were driving over a bridge- it looked like the big bridge on the way to Catawba, but we were still in Westlake. Suddenly the weather was very dull and grey, cold, with a thick fog that it was hard to see through. However, as we drove, we realized that there were police cars in front of us- their blue lights were stationary but shining through the fog- it looked like a DUI checkpoint. I advised that we just drove through it- they couldn't do anything to us, we were sober, we were innocent, and we weren't technically "wanted" yet, so we couldn't get in trouble.
We got stopped at the checkpoint. The police asked us to step out of the vehicle. They were strip-searching everyone. I remember noting other naked people on the bridge and being extremely traumatized. They sprayed us with this stuff that for some reason I knew was a techno-do-hickey. They sprayed us with microbes that were basically GPS tracking devices. I don't know how I knew that, but I did, and so I said that we should all jump in the river. Me and the two faceless boys did, but Sydnie refused because the river was too gross. (It was about the equivalent of jumping into the Olentangy) So we washed off our microbe-trackers, but she didn't, and even though I knew that was a bad call, we couldn't leave her.
We drove to Sarah's house. I'm not really sure why. It was out in BFE so I guess we figured it was safe. Only really in my dream it was Skoch's house. Sydnie went to shower, but it was too late, they had us tracked. Skoch came down from upstairs and told us the feds had found us and were on their way (I don't know how he knew). We were really upset that we got him in trouble, but he told us, "just go!" so we did. For a minutes one of the other boys was Ricky. He said, "I'm not going anywhere until I get a cigarette" and Sydnie was still showering. However, Sarah was there, and so we (as in Sarah, another faceless boy, and I) jumped into her '84 Blazer (I do have a fondness for that thing) and tried to leave the driveway. Unfortunately it was too late, the feds had already tracked Sydnie's unwashed microbes (way to go) and were pulling into the driveway right at us. Sarah said, "No fucking way," and rapidly threw her car into reverse, cut across her neighbour's backyard, and tried to leave out their driveway. However, another federal truck had started pulling up there. We all jumped out of the car (I had noticed at this point that Skoch, Sydnie, and Ricky had all been taken into custody) and ran.
I managed to get away. I was by myself now. I was runing through Sarah's neighbourhood (not that she has one in real life- but in the dream she did) trying to avoid getting caught. I ran into Charlie Roach (odd?) and he asked, "aren't you in trouble with the government or something?" I told him yes, I was, and he responded, "don't worry, I'm not goig to rat you out." He then explained that there was a creek nearby and that I could probably get away by jumping in it and floating downstream. It seemed like the best option at the time, so I took it.
There was sort of a blackout during the journey down the river- odd, seeing as the rest of this dream was in real time. Even when we were just driving or sitting in Sarah/Skoch's house (whichever, I couldn't really figure that one out) time was playing out like it would in real life. There were moments of downtime and meaningless conversation (which I don't really remember, but still)
Anyway, at the end of my river journey, which aparently went over well, I was in this strange room. It wasn't really a room, more like an outdoor porch. The river forked off in this room, but there was a big mill-type thing turning in the centre of the room, so I couldn't just flow with the river. One direction went around a dark bend, the other direction flooded under a door (there was no roof to this room, only walls). The room was very pretty- and, I'm not going to lie, somewhat Zelda-esque in a way. Everything had a pink hue to it, as though it was sunset, there were vines of flowers trailing up the walls, and the door was a big wooden one, like a castle door. Even the bricks of the walls were soft pink.
I chose to go out the door. (Yes, I remember very consiously deciding to take the door) When I left I was in Lakewood, on Clifton, only it was all decorated with garlands of flowers, and it still seemed like sunset. Caitlin Anne was there, as though she expected me. "Cait, I need somewhere to go, where can I hide?" I asked her. She told me to follow her to Shannon's. I told her I didn't want them involved, but she pointed out that I didn't have a lot of other options. So she and I walked to Shannon's. It was odd, because as soon as we were in Cleveland rather than Lakewood the garlands were gone and it was a bright, sunny day, though it seemed cooler than earlier- more like mid-spring than summertime.
At Shannons I thanked them for having me and promised to leave promptly. Shannon offered me food and since I was clearly starving, I accepted. She made me a grilled cheese, and right as she did, Renee came in the room. I sort of gasped, I didn't know if any adults would rat me out, as thus far I had only encountered my peers. However, Mrs. Copfer just winked at me and said, "I see nothing" and went to get Ronnie. Just as I was about to eat the grilled cheese, she ran back in the room and told me there was a strange van in the driveway and I'd better hide. I ran to Shanni's basement.
Once down there, there was a lot of crap on the ground, but no where to really hide. I grabbed a tablecloth or tarp of some sort and covered myself in it. It didn't really completly cover my head, but I was along the stairwell, so as long as no one looked to closely, I was safe.
While hiding I could hear the voice of the person upstairs- it was my mom. I didn't know if she would tell the feds where I was or not, or even if she was working for them, so I remained hidden. She was just mingling with Shannon and Cait when she asked, "can I see your basement?" Well, that's a suspicious question at any time, particularly now. Shannon and Caitlin brought her down and kept trying to get her to leave. She wasn't exactly poking around, but she kept picking up toys and such. Then she looked right at me. But she kept walking. I figured she was going to tell them where I was, so I got up to flee. She stopped me, "No, I just wanted to know they hadn't gotten to you yet." I nodded and asked, "do you think I did this?" (Keep in mind I'm not really sure what 'this' is...) and she said, "of course not," and left.
Almost immediately, Mrs. Copfer ran downstairs and told me that the real feds were here and I wasn't going to be safe this time. I went to hide in a different room. At first there was a huge pile of stuffed animals, and I decided to hide in them. I kept trying to burrow in them, but there were less and less stuffed animals as time went on. I ended up having to grab the pillows and hide under those.
Down the stairs came two valley girls. Okay, really they were sorority girls, but they talked like valley girls (this is the one House influence in my dream- we watched the valley girl specials yesterday). They were in the room with me in it, and Cait and Shannon kept trying to get them out, but they weren't leaving. There was no way they couldn't see me. One dropped her pen, I picked it up and handed it to her. She didn't even flinch. I realized they were clueless. Mrs. Copfer came down again then and said, "yeah, you're not so lucky- the smart guys are upstairs in my kitchen."
I was suddenly quite terrified. I didn't know how to get out of the house without walking past them (in the dream, the house was set up differently than Shannon's really is- I couldn't get out of the basement without walking through the kitchen) Finally I decided to just walk out of there like I belonged there, and hope it would take a few seconds for it to click to them that it was me.
That was exactly what I did, and it worked! Even in my dream I remember being impressed. As soon as I was out the door, I bolted- I knew they would figure it out very soonly. I ran to Shannon's next door neightbour's house- which in the dream faced the same direction as her house, which was odd. I hid under a bush, which actually would have been pretty effective, but they had a dog. As soon as it shot out the door, I realized I was screwed royally. The two guys who were after me went around the other side of Shannon's house, but the dog went right for me.
As it turns out, it wasn't an attack dog- it was just a dog with a good sense of smell I guess. It wanted to play with me once it got there. It kept barking and I kept trying to shoe it off, but it wouldn't leave. Finally I ran into Shannon's neighbour's backyard. There was a garden which went all the way from the house to their shed in the very back of their property- and it was a long stretch of land. My goal was to make it through the thin woods in the backyards and get to the lake. I figured the dog couldn't get me in the lake. So I started running through the garden (shortest distance between two points, right?) but I suddenly noticed two things simultaneously. First was that the two fed guys were coming right after me, and second was that the garden was bordered in roses- I couldn't cut through it, or I'd get cut by the thorns. I tried running around the garden, but one of those weird dream things kicked in where I couldn't run full speed. I suddenly gave up, stopped, and picked a rose, a yellow one with orange around the outside. It wasn't fully in bloom yet.
The two feds caught up to me quickly then. I was holding the rose and picking the petals off one-by-one, like someone playing, "loves me- loves me not". When they got to me, I said, very softly, "I give up." There was a blonde guy and a brunette guy. I rememebr I really didn't like the blonde one, and I had just figured the dark-haired one was a minion or whatever. But that blonde one- I hated him. He tried to grab my arms and hold them behind my back, but I snapped at him, "I want to play with my flower!" like an insolent five-year-old. I guess he figured I was serious (and I was- very much so) so he just grabbed my left arm and dragged me back to the front yard.
The three of us stood there, and other agents were coming out of the Copfer's house, along with Shannon and Caitlin and both their moms. I kept plucking my flower's petals. When it was out of petals I got very sad and dropped the stem. The blonde guy started asking, "are you going to just come with us now?" and as a response, I punched him in the face. It was a very weak punch, I was actually ashamed of myself. I kept hitting his chest and face, but not very hard. I was more annoying than deadly I suppose. The brunette guy just laughed because I clearly wasn't doing any harm. Then, very suddenly, I grabbed the blonde guy's shoulders and kneed him very, very hard in the groin. He fell to the ground. The brunett guy looked shocked at the sudden violence, so I took advantage of that and started stomping repeatedly on the blonde guy's stomach. Finally the other feds rushed over and the brunette guy pulled me off him and dragged me, alone, to the kitchen.
At this point I realized that all my friends were captured, and that my friends they weren't even after were in trouble, too, for helping me. I sat at the kitchen table. The brunette guy asked, "do I have to cuff you?" "No," I responded, "I really do give up this time." However, I was trying to figure out how I could get a car and get to the metroparks, because they'd never find me there. Before I could really formulate a plan, the blonde guy, very very pissed, walked into the kitchen and cuffed my hands behind the chair I was sitting in. "You deserve this you bitch," he said.
Then I woke up.
Another wierd thing about this whole debacle is that I knew I was sleeping but I couldn't force myself to wake up. There are several points where I thought I could wake up, and indeed opened my eyes, but I couldn't seem to break away from it. At one point I remember looking at my pillows and the wall and the window (the sun was just rising) of my dorm, but still hearing Cait and Shannon talking to me.
So basically that skitzophrenia thing is starting to catch up with me...