Like the most important question: why do bad things happen to good people. I know people (obviously there´s a specific person in mind, but I still know others) who deserve a break and just can´t seem to get one. And I know I get breaks I don´t deserve. I mean, honestly, I haven´t really worked a day in my life for one thing I have right now... except a B in history. But smeriously. Some people work so hard for shit and just can´t get anywhere. Then there are those horrible people who are just evil and conniving through and through, but their powers of manipulation get them whatever they want. Fuck those people. They make me upset. They are further proof that there is no god in this world.
Then of course I know I´m a horrible person. I sit here being rather angry at one of my favourite people. For no reason. Like literally no reason at all, except I´m just a hateful, loathsome piece of human scum who doesn´t deserve a place on this earth. I´m a waste of air, space, and vegetables. I know it. Do not debate it. No one who is this upset with someone who´s done nothing wrong could possibly be a decent person.
Maybe some people are just born bad, and some good. I guess I was bad. But still, I usually get what I want, which makes me feel all the more evil. I don´t deserve things. I´m a bad person. I´m a bad person. I know it. I hate it and I can´t seem to do a damned thing about it. I try to be normal and healthy and adjusted, but I know I´m a fucking psychopath. And that´s why I´m always so maniacally lonely and semi-depressed. But I lie well and usually, unless under the influence of alcohol, I can appear like I´m having fun most anywhere, or if not, at least have an adjusted presense. But I don´t know, very few people actually make me happy. No offence to you guys. My problem, not yours.
And that is why I suck at life and will never reach self actualization. Because I can lie to everyone else, but I can´t lie to myself. And over time, I´ve stopped lying to everyone else. So now everyone knows what a psychopath I am. And somehow, I don´t care.