I had a swell weekend, minus a slight blip on the radar of perfection, which is pretty much what prompts this post.
Why, exactly, are people such douchebags?
I could, of course, go on.
But really. That pretty much captures the essance of things.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Singing Songs of Satisfaction
I'm extremely upset because there is a tornado warning right now and Elaine seems to think that this is reason enough not to go out and get ice cream. That's absolutely insane, though, because Elaine always goes out in the rainiest, shittiest weather for her ice cream. So I don't understand why tonight is so different.
Lost is on in an hour! I cannot wait. There are only about four new episodes before it goes on haitus until February. How ghey ghey ghey.
I get to go home this weekend! I'm quite excited. Ed's-Ignatius game and all that gloriousness.
I took a calc midterm today. It wasn't THAT bad. I mea, sure, I got some wrong, but it really legit didn't seem that bad. Maybe I did alright, I suppose I'll find out soon enough.
Let's see, what else is new? Not a whole lot. I got asked to practice with the A-sides for rugby. That's pretty nifty- they are the veterans to our novice-ness. So I'm like playing with the A-team. How cool, I'm actually good at a sport for once.
Okay there are loud noises comning from whatever hick-ass thing Chelsea is watching in the common room. I can't focus. And I don't have anything to say anyway.
Lost is on in an hour! I cannot wait. There are only about four new episodes before it goes on haitus until February. How ghey ghey ghey.
I get to go home this weekend! I'm quite excited. Ed's-Ignatius game and all that gloriousness.
I took a calc midterm today. It wasn't THAT bad. I mea, sure, I got some wrong, but it really legit didn't seem that bad. Maybe I did alright, I suppose I'll find out soon enough.
Let's see, what else is new? Not a whole lot. I got asked to practice with the A-sides for rugby. That's pretty nifty- they are the veterans to our novice-ness. So I'm like playing with the A-team. How cool, I'm actually good at a sport for once.
Okay there are loud noises comning from whatever hick-ass thing Chelsea is watching in the common room. I can't focus. And I don't have anything to say anyway.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Everything Starts Today
I don't get it. It's so cold here in the mornings, I pretty much die. But by the afternoon it's wicked hot and I'm usually bundled up sitll from the morning. My body is pretty much going to go into shock if I don't learn to manage this weather...
Yesterday was a glorious day. Minus the chem lab I spent way too long working on, it was overall just a very happy day. I was pleased with it, and it left me in a delightful mood for today, which until now (I do have calc next) has been going well, too.
Let's see. I skipped out of our survey class a bit early, in order to scedaddly off to the Ohio Union. There I took a post on a corner, almost a block away from the Union. I had to befriend the weird guy in front of me in line. I had to listen to a bunch of super conservative Jews complain about fasting for yom kippour. Which, by the way, made me super hungry. I had to listen to another guy ramble on about intelligent political things, which always makes me feel stupid. I got glared at by people because I'm from the West side. I had squirrels throw their acorns at me head. I gnawed away all my cuticles. I appeared painfully freshmanish. I cut in line. I still killed two and a half hours of my life. And what was my reward?
Tickets to see "An Evening with Jon Stewart"!!!
He's coming here to do the Midwest Midterm Midtacular and he's doing a sort of stand up night, for which there were FREE tickets available to all OSU students. And i am the proud owner of some fine floor seats at the schott. There's a picture on Facebook if you are that concerned.
And then I came home and worked things out and felt even more super happy, but the whole online world doesn't need to know or care about that.
Even though I didn't sleep last night, I got up at 6:30 to hit up the 7:30 spanish class, where I took one of the easiest spanish tests of my life. No kidding you. My current teacher (who's name I'm not entirely clear on...) has NOTHING on sra. chadha. Seriously, Spanish three was way harder.
So anyway, finished that in half an hour and left early thankfully so I could get to my chem lab on time. And good news, I went to the right class this week! Anyway, lab was easy, too. It helps that we did the same on in Debrowski's class. Granted, Hannah, Ros, Jen, and I tended to slack a bit on those. But nevertheless, I'd done it before and thus it was easy as pi. (no 'e') And Laura and I sort of did it together just to get it done a bit faster. It was delightful.
Calc shall not be the same way. I have to turn in homework (still have one more to do, too) and then take a quiz. I'd best go do that. I'm just procrastinating.
Rugby tonight!
New cell phone tomorrow!
LOST tomorrow!!!!!
Yesterday was a glorious day. Minus the chem lab I spent way too long working on, it was overall just a very happy day. I was pleased with it, and it left me in a delightful mood for today, which until now (I do have calc next) has been going well, too.
Let's see. I skipped out of our survey class a bit early, in order to scedaddly off to the Ohio Union. There I took a post on a corner, almost a block away from the Union. I had to befriend the weird guy in front of me in line. I had to listen to a bunch of super conservative Jews complain about fasting for yom kippour. Which, by the way, made me super hungry. I had to listen to another guy ramble on about intelligent political things, which always makes me feel stupid. I got glared at by people because I'm from the West side. I had squirrels throw their acorns at me head. I gnawed away all my cuticles. I appeared painfully freshmanish. I cut in line. I still killed two and a half hours of my life. And what was my reward?
Tickets to see "An Evening with Jon Stewart"!!!
He's coming here to do the Midwest Midterm Midtacular and he's doing a sort of stand up night, for which there were FREE tickets available to all OSU students. And i am the proud owner of some fine floor seats at the schott. There's a picture on Facebook if you are that concerned.
And then I came home and worked things out and felt even more super happy, but the whole online world doesn't need to know or care about that.
Even though I didn't sleep last night, I got up at 6:30 to hit up the 7:30 spanish class, where I took one of the easiest spanish tests of my life. No kidding you. My current teacher (who's name I'm not entirely clear on...) has NOTHING on sra. chadha. Seriously, Spanish three was way harder.
So anyway, finished that in half an hour and left early thankfully so I could get to my chem lab on time. And good news, I went to the right class this week! Anyway, lab was easy, too. It helps that we did the same on in Debrowski's class. Granted, Hannah, Ros, Jen, and I tended to slack a bit on those. But nevertheless, I'd done it before and thus it was easy as pi. (no 'e') And Laura and I sort of did it together just to get it done a bit faster. It was delightful.
Calc shall not be the same way. I have to turn in homework (still have one more to do, too) and then take a quiz. I'd best go do that. I'm just procrastinating.
Rugby tonight!
New cell phone tomorrow!
LOST tomorrow!!!!!
Sunday, October 01, 2006
How Many Special People Change?
Oh man. OH man, oh man oh man. Its 5:30 in the morning. I'm alone right now, utterly alone. My roommate went home for the weekend. My suitemetes (those who are here) are sleeping, the lucky bitches. I have no phone. No one is online. And I feel so utterly alone.
I'm homesick right now, for the first time in this whole college stint. It's not even homesick. It's friendsick, a term I discussed with katiespi. I just want to be with the poeple I really know and love right now, the ones I'm not going to see in forever. The nice thing about being alone is no one can see or hear me cry (Clarissa is out cold I think) but the bad thing is I really need to talk to someone, someone who really knows me. I haven't got any way to talk to them though. I wish I could just hop in the ol' Camry and see people. Oh, sweet Huebert, how are you? How is Cleveland? Westlake? Lakewood? Bay Villiage? How's Shannon in new york or caitlin in chicago or skoch in st. louis or ricky and ed at hiram? How is anyone?
Don't ahve late night converstaions with the people you love and miss the most. They make you super depressed. I wish I had some freaking zoloft.
I can't even see right now. I took out my contacts. So if no on elsecan read this, I'm sorry.
I loved this summer. There's only one thing I cwould change.
I love it here. But there's only one person I would bring back.
Dammit I don't even know what to think anymore.
I'm homesick right now, for the first time in this whole college stint. It's not even homesick. It's friendsick, a term I discussed with katiespi. I just want to be with the poeple I really know and love right now, the ones I'm not going to see in forever. The nice thing about being alone is no one can see or hear me cry (Clarissa is out cold I think) but the bad thing is I really need to talk to someone, someone who really knows me. I haven't got any way to talk to them though. I wish I could just hop in the ol' Camry and see people. Oh, sweet Huebert, how are you? How is Cleveland? Westlake? Lakewood? Bay Villiage? How's Shannon in new york or caitlin in chicago or skoch in st. louis or ricky and ed at hiram? How is anyone?
Don't ahve late night converstaions with the people you love and miss the most. They make you super depressed. I wish I had some freaking zoloft.
I can't even see right now. I took out my contacts. So if no on elsecan read this, I'm sorry.
I loved this summer. There's only one thing I cwould change.
I love it here. But there's only one person I would bring back.
Dammit I don't even know what to think anymore.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Are You Listening?
It has been, without a doubt, an interesting first weekend of college.
It has been fun. Like you wouldn't believe. I had an excellent time, largely thanks to my friends Natty and Bud. But regardless, it's been great.
I just went through a bunch of old photos, tryign to print off some classics so I can pin them to my corkboard and look popular, because my roommate has a SHITLOAD of photos, and I'm super jealous because she even has frames and such. Anyway, it made me feel rather nostalgic. Almost sad. Happy sad though. You know, remembering the good ol' times. (As if I'm some ninty-five year old geezer who grew up without the internet to connect me to those I left behind) But seriously. I had a great weekend, yes. Met some new people, yes. But it's not the same as having a group of really close friends who know you and who are similar to you. And I know I'll find that here eventually, I'm not worried about that so much. I just miss having friends to goof around with, ones you were done with first... and second... and third.... impressions for. The ones that were always there on the other end of the phone trying to figure out the evening's plans (when all you ever really did was end up on a front porch). Friends who didn't need elaborate background explanations for all your stories. The ones who all you had to do was say one word (Stoma?) and they'd crack up. Inside Jokes. Late night fires. Emo guitar sessions. Drunken Diner people. Cleveland, Lakewood, Westlake, Middleburg... sometimes even the east side. I don't miss the places though, I miss the people I shared those places with.
When I came to college, I didn't expect to miss anyone so much. I had always loved my friends, but I thought coming to OSU, I'd be alright. And I am, really, minus my current skank-whore status. Except I don't mind that. I guess I"m different here. I'm changing, and for once I can feel it. I know everyone changes subtly throughout their lives, but I feel like it's happening more quickly. But I'm not exactly being a different person. I'm just finding a new person on the inside, one who I tried to keep on the DL before. But I think I'm startign to accept myself already, despite my odd sense of lonliness.
It wasn't until maybe April that I started feeling so close to anyone. Who knew that you could miss kids you only really knew for four months quite so much? I didn't know what I was missing for the first four years of high school- but then think, would it have been the same then? The answer is no. You meet people when you meet them. Whether there's a higher design for it or not, I'm not sure, but I do think that just by circumstance and choices you always know exactly who you need to know when you need to know them. So for four months we became one of the closest-knit groups of friends I ever had. I lvoed every minute of it. No time for emo there- too much fun, whether it was skanking at the House of Blues or listening to guitar's at someone's house. Music and laughter and fudge always filled the air.
So here we are. scattered, from St. Louis and Chicago to New York and D.C. And we can still talk, we can see each other once in a while. But not all together. It's different in a way. You know that when we see eachother again, it will be exactly the same, like we never missed a beat. But until then, I have to continue being new and I have to miss what I had. I have to miss the best summer of my life.
It has been fun. Like you wouldn't believe. I had an excellent time, largely thanks to my friends Natty and Bud. But regardless, it's been great.
I just went through a bunch of old photos, tryign to print off some classics so I can pin them to my corkboard and look popular, because my roommate has a SHITLOAD of photos, and I'm super jealous because she even has frames and such. Anyway, it made me feel rather nostalgic. Almost sad. Happy sad though. You know, remembering the good ol' times. (As if I'm some ninty-five year old geezer who grew up without the internet to connect me to those I left behind) But seriously. I had a great weekend, yes. Met some new people, yes. But it's not the same as having a group of really close friends who know you and who are similar to you. And I know I'll find that here eventually, I'm not worried about that so much. I just miss having friends to goof around with, ones you were done with first... and second... and third.... impressions for. The ones that were always there on the other end of the phone trying to figure out the evening's plans (when all you ever really did was end up on a front porch). Friends who didn't need elaborate background explanations for all your stories. The ones who all you had to do was say one word (Stoma?) and they'd crack up. Inside Jokes. Late night fires. Emo guitar sessions. Drunken Diner people. Cleveland, Lakewood, Westlake, Middleburg... sometimes even the east side. I don't miss the places though, I miss the people I shared those places with.
When I came to college, I didn't expect to miss anyone so much. I had always loved my friends, but I thought coming to OSU, I'd be alright. And I am, really, minus my current skank-whore status. Except I don't mind that. I guess I"m different here. I'm changing, and for once I can feel it. I know everyone changes subtly throughout their lives, but I feel like it's happening more quickly. But I'm not exactly being a different person. I'm just finding a new person on the inside, one who I tried to keep on the DL before. But I think I'm startign to accept myself already, despite my odd sense of lonliness.
It wasn't until maybe April that I started feeling so close to anyone. Who knew that you could miss kids you only really knew for four months quite so much? I didn't know what I was missing for the first four years of high school- but then think, would it have been the same then? The answer is no. You meet people when you meet them. Whether there's a higher design for it or not, I'm not sure, but I do think that just by circumstance and choices you always know exactly who you need to know when you need to know them. So for four months we became one of the closest-knit groups of friends I ever had. I lvoed every minute of it. No time for emo there- too much fun, whether it was skanking at the House of Blues or listening to guitar's at someone's house. Music and laughter and fudge always filled the air.
So here we are. scattered, from St. Louis and Chicago to New York and D.C. And we can still talk, we can see each other once in a while. But not all together. It's different in a way. You know that when we see eachother again, it will be exactly the same, like we never missed a beat. But until then, I have to continue being new and I have to miss what I had. I have to miss the best summer of my life.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I can change, I can change
Alright well. Nothing to really do right now. I'm waiting for Lainey to shower so we can go get some fucking breakfast. I'm starving. I walk all the time. It's nice, but almost annoying. It takes so long to get anywhere, I always want to sprint places. Just so I get there faster.
College is, however, a blast. My roommate is totally cool and we got along and I don't think there will ever be a point at which I will want to wring her neck. Which is a good thing. And even though the walking is annoying, it's still pretty nice because the campus is pretty and I kind of enjoy walking... I just don't enjoy it at 7am, when I need to leave for my classes.
Yesterday I hung out with Nina and Liz during the day and finally got my books ($465! w000 h00) I was bummed though because the weather got sucky so we never got to go to the involvement fair. I need to find things to fill my time with.
Let's see, what else? After that I went to Nina's and spent the night there, mostly jsut so I wouldn't have to walk the mile back to my dorm at 3am in the rain. That whole sentance just seems like a bad idea, no? It was fun though, bonding time with Nina.
There was also bonding time with the suitemetes yesterday thanks to our awesome fire drill. They all seem pretty cool, as well. I love the set-up of our dorms, and I love how much space I get, but seriously this hiking thing is going to get old.
But on the bright side, there's a UDF nearby. Ice cream and cheap coffee. It's only 99 cents for a 20 oz cup with that french vanilla stuff you get from the machine. So delicious. Which reminds me, I need to buy coffee for my dorm. And filters. I need to run errands already. So pathetic. I'm an idiot and didn't even remember to bring pillows. So we bought some. Then again, I only slept in my bed once (it's so cute and colourful!) so it matters very little.
There is so much to do here. Finding all the places to eat in is the first mission I have. So far the Marketplace on Neil is my favourite. The food is delicious, fresh, and won't kill me by age 30. They even have sushi! Delicious sushi, even better than heinen's. It made me very happy. There's also the pizza place in Drake (which is one of the few buildings anywhere near us) that's pretty good for if you want some 'za. We got a big pie of cheese and split it yesterday in the suite (well just me and chelsea and laura, really, and some random kid from the 1740s who smelled pizza and pounced on his opportunity.) and there appears to be food in the rpac. So we'll see. There's so many options here, I love it!
Tomorrow classes start. Not as fun, I'm sure. But I'm still kind of excited. I'm a student at heart, I missed learning new things. Then again my chem book kind of makes me want to die. I don't really know if I'm smart enough to take that class.... Lainey's in there, too, though. I should be alright.
It's fun here, and the people have all generally been nice, but there's something to be said about the old friends back home. I was walking today and I swore I saw Dano, but of course he's at Mount Union. The other day I thought I saw Jack, and I keep expecting like Caitlin and Shannon to just be around. It's really a very odd feeling, knowing none of those people are around. I'm not like homesick or anything- I'm greatly enjoying freedom- but I just wish there were some people here that aren't.
Oh well, you make new friends, right?
Okay Lainey seems almost ready, I'm going to haunt her until she is.
College is, however, a blast. My roommate is totally cool and we got along and I don't think there will ever be a point at which I will want to wring her neck. Which is a good thing. And even though the walking is annoying, it's still pretty nice because the campus is pretty and I kind of enjoy walking... I just don't enjoy it at 7am, when I need to leave for my classes.
Yesterday I hung out with Nina and Liz during the day and finally got my books ($465! w000 h00) I was bummed though because the weather got sucky so we never got to go to the involvement fair. I need to find things to fill my time with.
Let's see, what else? After that I went to Nina's and spent the night there, mostly jsut so I wouldn't have to walk the mile back to my dorm at 3am in the rain. That whole sentance just seems like a bad idea, no? It was fun though, bonding time with Nina.
There was also bonding time with the suitemetes yesterday thanks to our awesome fire drill. They all seem pretty cool, as well. I love the set-up of our dorms, and I love how much space I get, but seriously this hiking thing is going to get old.
But on the bright side, there's a UDF nearby. Ice cream and cheap coffee. It's only 99 cents for a 20 oz cup with that french vanilla stuff you get from the machine. So delicious. Which reminds me, I need to buy coffee for my dorm. And filters. I need to run errands already. So pathetic. I'm an idiot and didn't even remember to bring pillows. So we bought some. Then again, I only slept in my bed once (it's so cute and colourful!) so it matters very little.
There is so much to do here. Finding all the places to eat in is the first mission I have. So far the Marketplace on Neil is my favourite. The food is delicious, fresh, and won't kill me by age 30. They even have sushi! Delicious sushi, even better than heinen's. It made me very happy. There's also the pizza place in Drake (which is one of the few buildings anywhere near us) that's pretty good for if you want some 'za. We got a big pie of cheese and split it yesterday in the suite (well just me and chelsea and laura, really, and some random kid from the 1740s who smelled pizza and pounced on his opportunity.) and there appears to be food in the rpac. So we'll see. There's so many options here, I love it!
Tomorrow classes start. Not as fun, I'm sure. But I'm still kind of excited. I'm a student at heart, I missed learning new things. Then again my chem book kind of makes me want to die. I don't really know if I'm smart enough to take that class.... Lainey's in there, too, though. I should be alright.
It's fun here, and the people have all generally been nice, but there's something to be said about the old friends back home. I was walking today and I swore I saw Dano, but of course he's at Mount Union. The other day I thought I saw Jack, and I keep expecting like Caitlin and Shannon to just be around. It's really a very odd feeling, knowing none of those people are around. I'm not like homesick or anything- I'm greatly enjoying freedom- but I just wish there were some people here that aren't.
Oh well, you make new friends, right?
Okay Lainey seems almost ready, I'm going to haunt her until she is.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Anything to Forget Everything
Ahhh, here it is. Finally. After eighteen years, eight months, and six days, I'm finally being set free from this house. Well, alright we moved here when I was nine. But you get the idea. I'm finally going off on my own. Away from the tyranny of this "family life" thing.
I have to celebrate my dad's birthday today. That's no fun at all. What a waste of my last day in town. I could be eating with my REAL family (aka Lyla's family) but no I have to wait for my stupid mother to make us some crap food.
I haven't decided how I feel about leaving yet. I mean, there's nothing here for me at all. I've established that very clearly, particularly in the last week. And I know once I get there, there isn't anything waiting for me back here. But still the initial leaving thing is sort of tough. However, all I have to do is wait for my mother to barge into my room (which she does with alarming regularity) to remember why I hate it here.
I don't think I'm nervous about the whole making friends thing. I mean, I'm a bitch, but for some reason people like me anyway. Don't ask me- I have never professed to have any drawing features. No one else seems to regularly have a problem with it, and I manage to avoid those who do.
Sometimes I think about all the friends I'll be missing, but then I realize they're gone anyway so what does it matter if I'm chatting online with them while I'm at home or while I'm in my OSU dorm, which is actually closer to most people. That's the convienent thing about Columbus being in the centre of the state. Okay, Skoch, Cait, and Shannon are all still sort of far away, but everyone else is in Ohio still. And it's no more than 2 to 2.5 hours to any other worthwhile college. So I can visit. And there's always thanksgiving, or just next Tuesday, when Liz and I are maybe going to come back for the lostprophets concert. I do love lostprophets.
I guess it's just alarming having to make a new start. Then again, a new start is exactly what I need right now. It's too late for me to go back and regret things. This summer was awesome, and long, and I'm ready for it to be over. A closed chapter in the book of life, if I may cliche.
Off to open presents. Shoot me. When I write again, I'll be starting a new life.
I have to celebrate my dad's birthday today. That's no fun at all. What a waste of my last day in town. I could be eating with my REAL family (aka Lyla's family) but no I have to wait for my stupid mother to make us some crap food.
I haven't decided how I feel about leaving yet. I mean, there's nothing here for me at all. I've established that very clearly, particularly in the last week. And I know once I get there, there isn't anything waiting for me back here. But still the initial leaving thing is sort of tough. However, all I have to do is wait for my mother to barge into my room (which she does with alarming regularity) to remember why I hate it here.
I don't think I'm nervous about the whole making friends thing. I mean, I'm a bitch, but for some reason people like me anyway. Don't ask me- I have never professed to have any drawing features. No one else seems to regularly have a problem with it, and I manage to avoid those who do.
Sometimes I think about all the friends I'll be missing, but then I realize they're gone anyway so what does it matter if I'm chatting online with them while I'm at home or while I'm in my OSU dorm, which is actually closer to most people. That's the convienent thing about Columbus being in the centre of the state. Okay, Skoch, Cait, and Shannon are all still sort of far away, but everyone else is in Ohio still. And it's no more than 2 to 2.5 hours to any other worthwhile college. So I can visit. And there's always thanksgiving, or just next Tuesday, when Liz and I are maybe going to come back for the lostprophets concert. I do love lostprophets.
I guess it's just alarming having to make a new start. Then again, a new start is exactly what I need right now. It's too late for me to go back and regret things. This summer was awesome, and long, and I'm ready for it to be over. A closed chapter in the book of life, if I may cliche.
Off to open presents. Shoot me. When I write again, I'll be starting a new life.
Friday, September 15, 2006
I am Losing one day at a time
Wow. Today has just been awesome. No really, it's been fabulous.
I got up at 8:30. yes, I went to bed at three. As usual. Because god knows sleep is overrated. Anyway yes and then I didn't do anything but watch ER, which should stand for "Emotional Rollercoaster", not "Emergency Room". After that I went to the basement to get my iPod so I could do some running/biking. And I nearly stepping in dog poop, which I ended up cleaning. And the iPod was out of batteries. Awesome.
So I decided I'd do my shopping first and then go running. And as I pulled out of the garage, I scraped the front of my car on the garage. The brick part. Sweeeeeet. I'm so retarded. Also, the bank doesn't seem to want me to deposit my money.
I hate days like today. Where everything just goes WRONG. It's like god's taking a fart on me and my pathetic life.
I'm really not that emo. I'm just pointing out that everything bad happens at once. It's probably just stress from the fact that I'm leaving and I'm not done packing yet. Not that I really need to be- I still have about thirty-six hours to finish up. And I may actually have plans for tonight.
Jude Law is totally dreamy. But so are accents in general.
Lyla is so not good at comforting/reassuring people.
You know maybe if the weather didn't suck, neither would my life.
College. Two days. Can't fucking wait.
I got up at 8:30. yes, I went to bed at three. As usual. Because god knows sleep is overrated. Anyway yes and then I didn't do anything but watch ER, which should stand for "Emotional Rollercoaster", not "Emergency Room". After that I went to the basement to get my iPod so I could do some running/biking. And I nearly stepping in dog poop, which I ended up cleaning. And the iPod was out of batteries. Awesome.
So I decided I'd do my shopping first and then go running. And as I pulled out of the garage, I scraped the front of my car on the garage. The brick part. Sweeeeeet. I'm so retarded. Also, the bank doesn't seem to want me to deposit my money.
I hate days like today. Where everything just goes WRONG. It's like god's taking a fart on me and my pathetic life.
I'm really not that emo. I'm just pointing out that everything bad happens at once. It's probably just stress from the fact that I'm leaving and I'm not done packing yet. Not that I really need to be- I still have about thirty-six hours to finish up. And I may actually have plans for tonight.
Jude Law is totally dreamy. But so are accents in general.
Lyla is so not good at comforting/reassuring people.
You know maybe if the weather didn't suck, neither would my life.
College. Two days. Can't fucking wait.
I am Losing one day at a time
Wow. Today has just been awesome. No really, it's been fabulous.
I got up at 8:30. yes, I went to bed at three. As usual. Because god knows sleep is overrated. Anyway yes and then I didn't do anything but watch ER, which should stand for "Emotional Rollercoaster", not "Emergency Room". After that I went to the basement to get my iPod so I could do some running/biking. And I nearly stepping in dog poop, which I ended up cleaning. And the iPod was out of batteries. Awesome.
So I decided I'd do my shopping first and then go running. And as I pulled out of the garage, I scraped the front of my car on the garage. The brick part. Sweeeeeet. I'm so retarded. Also, the bank doesn't seem to want me to deposit my money.
I hate days like today. Where everything just goes WRONG. It's like god's taking a fart on me and my pathetic life.
I'm really not that emo. I'm just pointing out that everything bad happens at once. It's probably just stress from the fact that I'm leaving and I'm not done packing yet. Not that I really need to be- I still have about thirty-six hours to finish up. And I may actually have plans for tonight.
Jude Law is totally dreamy. But so are accents in general.
Lyla is so not good at comforting/reassuring people.
You know maybe if the weather didn't suck, neither would my life.
College. Two days. Can't fucking wait.
I got up at 8:30. yes, I went to bed at three. As usual. Because god knows sleep is overrated. Anyway yes and then I didn't do anything but watch ER, which should stand for "Emotional Rollercoaster", not "Emergency Room". After that I went to the basement to get my iPod so I could do some running/biking. And I nearly stepping in dog poop, which I ended up cleaning. And the iPod was out of batteries. Awesome.
So I decided I'd do my shopping first and then go running. And as I pulled out of the garage, I scraped the front of my car on the garage. The brick part. Sweeeeeet. I'm so retarded. Also, the bank doesn't seem to want me to deposit my money.
I hate days like today. Where everything just goes WRONG. It's like god's taking a fart on me and my pathetic life.
I'm really not that emo. I'm just pointing out that everything bad happens at once. It's probably just stress from the fact that I'm leaving and I'm not done packing yet. Not that I really need to be- I still have about thirty-six hours to finish up. And I may actually have plans for tonight.
Jude Law is totally dreamy. But so are accents in general.
Lyla is so not good at comforting/reassuring people.
You know maybe if the weather didn't suck, neither would my life.
College. Two days. Can't fucking wait.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
You're So Last Summer
Dane Cook is god. He is. It's true. His witty, incisive humour never fails to cheer me up. Thank god he had another tour. Vicious Circle. Ohhh brilliant.
So yeah I did one of those horribly addictive myspace survey things- you know the ones with the iPod on random. Anyway it was alright but I feel like doing it again, with comments, this time. Oh, also, Caitlin, I hate you, because you tend to be the reason I do these things. Also, I was jealous her answers made sense and mine didn't
(note: I am a loser)
1) How am I feeling today?
Painless- Mae
Actually this is pretty true. I haven't done anything stupid like running into doors or tripping over luggage (which is a distinct possibility with all this packing). Also I'm doing very well emotionally right now. And I'm leaving soon. And I took Tylenol PM and once the hangover from that wore off, I was doing swell.
2) Where will I get married?
Still Take You Home- Arctic Monkeys
Why do I feel like this refers to me getting married in a Vegas Chapel? Like the day I meet someone. Stupid world. I'm going to get married drunk off my ass, aren't I?
3) What is my best friends theme song?
Clock is Down- Letter Kills
I can't decide who my best friend is. Or who this is about. Maybe Cait, who's an hour behind us because she's in Chicago? Oh, maybe.
4) What is high school like?
Buddy Holly- Weezer
I find this funny. Like high school is some delightful cliched world of 1950.
Oh, wait, it is.
5) What is the best thing about me?
It was Only Love- The Cribs
I don't know what this means. This song is good though. It means something to me, right now, just not actually in response to that question.
6)How is today going to be?
goodbye tonight- lostprophets
Do I sense an oxymoron?
7) What is in store for this weekend?
Climbing Up the Walls- Radiohead
This may or may not make sense. Maybe if they mean like "escaping". Because this weekend I shall be celebrating the 58th birthday of my father (kill me) and there are few friends left to hang out with and all in all it's going to be sucky... until I move into college, anyway.
8) What song describes my parents?
The Kids Went Home- How About No
I don't know? If home means not in this house then alright.
9) How is my life going?
Time Honoured Tradition- Kaiser Cheifs
Time honoured tradition... to get enough nutrition... stay alive until you die and that is the end of that. Fabulous. This must mean I'm just living for the sake of living and there's no point. Let's be more morbid, I swear, it's fun.
10) What song will they play at my funeral?
Radio America- Libertines
Sooo like. Okay.
11) How does the world see me?
Silvio- Dylan
what does that even mean?
12) What do my friends really think of me?
Forever Young- Dylan
I suppose that's a compliment, unless you guys think I'm immature, in which case, fuck you.
13) Why do people secretly lust after me?
The Ha Ha Wall- Libertines
Once again I'm confused.
14) How can I make myself happy?
Unaffected- Hoobastank
You're so right. If I remain unaffected by the outside I can be happy. Isn't that lying to yourself though? AHHHHH.
15) What should I do with my life?
Where can I stab myself in the ears- hawthorne heights
OKAY SERIOUSLY FOLKS. Let's be a weeeee bit more angsty here.
16) Will I ever have children?
You're so Real- MB20
Stop not making sense iTunes
17) What is some good advice?
Stop Whispering- Radiohead
Also true. Don't wisper. Yell. Shout. Just be honest. Trust me. Do whatever you can because if you don't say anything you'll be worse off.
18) What do I think my current theme song is?
Fingers in the Factory- Editors
Um alright again.
19) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
The Transition- Hawthorne heights
Actually once again this is quite apt. I'm leaving for Columbus in a few days and I sort of tied up all the loose ends from the summer so I guess it is a transition, right?
20) What type of men/women do you like?
What's the Frequency, Kenneth?- REM
okay you wanna know what? my dad's name is Kenneth and I don't want whoever I'm with to be ANYTHING like him so this is complete crap
21) Will you get married?
Dancing Shoes- Arctic Monkeys
I suppose that means yes. I mean you dance at weddings, no?
22) What should I do with my love life?
Our Time is Now- Story of the Year
UGH. I think iTunes is just laughing in my face now.
24) Where will you live?
Disappear- Hoobastank
Ouch. Thanks a lot asshole.
25) What will your dying words be?
Such Great Hieghts- Postal Service
Well you wanna know what? I love this song. And you know, if the whole afterlife thing is true, then maybe I'll do that whole "heaven" thing (debatable but whatever) and this will make sense. But seriously. Love that song.
26) Hows your day going so far?
Kody- MB20
Well alrighty then.
27) Hows your love life?
Falling Down- Story of the Year
fuck you iTunes. Dont laugh at me. You're laughing? I'm not laughing.
28)Where will your next vacation be?
Hitsville, UK
HAHAHAHAHA I can only dream my friends.
Alright so that's what I did with the last 20 minutes of my life. Enjoy.
So yeah I did one of those horribly addictive myspace survey things- you know the ones with the iPod on random. Anyway it was alright but I feel like doing it again, with comments, this time. Oh, also, Caitlin, I hate you, because you tend to be the reason I do these things. Also, I was jealous her answers made sense and mine didn't
(note: I am a loser)
1) How am I feeling today?
Painless- Mae
Actually this is pretty true. I haven't done anything stupid like running into doors or tripping over luggage (which is a distinct possibility with all this packing). Also I'm doing very well emotionally right now. And I'm leaving soon. And I took Tylenol PM and once the hangover from that wore off, I was doing swell.
2) Where will I get married?
Still Take You Home- Arctic Monkeys
Why do I feel like this refers to me getting married in a Vegas Chapel? Like the day I meet someone. Stupid world. I'm going to get married drunk off my ass, aren't I?
3) What is my best friends theme song?
Clock is Down- Letter Kills
I can't decide who my best friend is. Or who this is about. Maybe Cait, who's an hour behind us because she's in Chicago? Oh, maybe.
4) What is high school like?
Buddy Holly- Weezer
I find this funny. Like high school is some delightful cliched world of 1950.
Oh, wait, it is.
5) What is the best thing about me?
It was Only Love- The Cribs
I don't know what this means. This song is good though. It means something to me, right now, just not actually in response to that question.
6)How is today going to be?
goodbye tonight- lostprophets
Do I sense an oxymoron?
7) What is in store for this weekend?
Climbing Up the Walls- Radiohead
This may or may not make sense. Maybe if they mean like "escaping". Because this weekend I shall be celebrating the 58th birthday of my father (kill me) and there are few friends left to hang out with and all in all it's going to be sucky... until I move into college, anyway.
8) What song describes my parents?
The Kids Went Home- How About No
I don't know? If home means not in this house then alright.
9) How is my life going?
Time Honoured Tradition- Kaiser Cheifs
Time honoured tradition... to get enough nutrition... stay alive until you die and that is the end of that. Fabulous. This must mean I'm just living for the sake of living and there's no point. Let's be more morbid, I swear, it's fun.
10) What song will they play at my funeral?
Radio America- Libertines
Sooo like. Okay.
11) How does the world see me?
Silvio- Dylan
what does that even mean?
12) What do my friends really think of me?
Forever Young- Dylan
I suppose that's a compliment, unless you guys think I'm immature, in which case, fuck you.
13) Why do people secretly lust after me?
The Ha Ha Wall- Libertines
Once again I'm confused.
14) How can I make myself happy?
Unaffected- Hoobastank
You're so right. If I remain unaffected by the outside I can be happy. Isn't that lying to yourself though? AHHHHH.
15) What should I do with my life?
Where can I stab myself in the ears- hawthorne heights
OKAY SERIOUSLY FOLKS. Let's be a weeeee bit more angsty here.
16) Will I ever have children?
You're so Real- MB20
Stop not making sense iTunes
17) What is some good advice?
Stop Whispering- Radiohead
Also true. Don't wisper. Yell. Shout. Just be honest. Trust me. Do whatever you can because if you don't say anything you'll be worse off.
18) What do I think my current theme song is?
Fingers in the Factory- Editors
Um alright again.
19) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
The Transition- Hawthorne heights
Actually once again this is quite apt. I'm leaving for Columbus in a few days and I sort of tied up all the loose ends from the summer so I guess it is a transition, right?
20) What type of men/women do you like?
What's the Frequency, Kenneth?- REM
okay you wanna know what? my dad's name is Kenneth and I don't want whoever I'm with to be ANYTHING like him so this is complete crap
21) Will you get married?
Dancing Shoes- Arctic Monkeys
I suppose that means yes. I mean you dance at weddings, no?
22) What should I do with my love life?
Our Time is Now- Story of the Year
UGH. I think iTunes is just laughing in my face now.
24) Where will you live?
Disappear- Hoobastank
Ouch. Thanks a lot asshole.
25) What will your dying words be?
Such Great Hieghts- Postal Service
Well you wanna know what? I love this song. And you know, if the whole afterlife thing is true, then maybe I'll do that whole "heaven" thing (debatable but whatever) and this will make sense. But seriously. Love that song.
26) Hows your day going so far?
Kody- MB20
Well alrighty then.
27) Hows your love life?
Falling Down- Story of the Year
fuck you iTunes. Dont laugh at me. You're laughing? I'm not laughing.
28)Where will your next vacation be?
Hitsville, UK
HAHAHAHAHA I can only dream my friends.
Alright so that's what I did with the last 20 minutes of my life. Enjoy.
I Still Left the Lights On
Tralala, another day, another blog. I insist upon writing in here, even on days like today when there's not much to write about.
So I knocked back some Tylenol PM last night, right? Yeah, that stuff didn't word at all. I took it and didn't fall asleep for an hour and a half (3am) and then I still woke up at nine-thirty (which, granted, is later than I usually wake up) and I felt like I had a hangover. It sucked. And I felt groggy until about 1:30 or so, maybe halfway through our visit to mags.
Yes, that's right, everything around here is so boring, Lyla and I went back to mags for the day. Not even, for maybe like an hour or so. Dr. Wilson is aparently going to have a baby, which excited Lyla far more than it did me, seeing as I still think the good doctor is a little crazy. However, he's stoked, so that's good. Whatever makes people happy. Also saw Mrs. Neville, not for long enough, but that was nice because she's like the best teacher ever. And no, I did not say hello to the almighty D.Vis (I did wave in her window) but I figured she probably hates me, we slacked off a lot in our little corner of the room, so I felt it wiser to just wander away. Oh, and we saw Chahda, who just rolled her eyes when she saw both Lyla and I together. Poor woman.
Anyway, Mags wasn't so bad, but I'm glad it's effing over. Collegecollegecollege. Only three days away. Really right now I ought to be packing, but I got sort of tired of it. I was working up a sweat- which I'm sure has something to do with the fact that my bedroom tends to a) retain heat and b) is lit by the hottest bloody lamp ever ($20 from Target) and I just replaced two of its lightbulbs, so it seems like daytime in here. (I know no one cares, I tend to ramble)
God I'm so flippin' tired and I can't sleep. Today I literally felt like I was going to pass out, and I lie (or layed or lied or whatever) down to sleep and I could completely not fall asleep. My mind wanders too much.
Carlos Mencia is extremely offensive, but that's alright. Futurama is on.
I also can't eat. I had half a salad today for dinner. Who the hell only eats half a fucking salad?
I should go back to packing.
So I knocked back some Tylenol PM last night, right? Yeah, that stuff didn't word at all. I took it and didn't fall asleep for an hour and a half (3am) and then I still woke up at nine-thirty (which, granted, is later than I usually wake up) and I felt like I had a hangover. It sucked. And I felt groggy until about 1:30 or so, maybe halfway through our visit to mags.
Yes, that's right, everything around here is so boring, Lyla and I went back to mags for the day. Not even, for maybe like an hour or so. Dr. Wilson is aparently going to have a baby, which excited Lyla far more than it did me, seeing as I still think the good doctor is a little crazy. However, he's stoked, so that's good. Whatever makes people happy. Also saw Mrs. Neville, not for long enough, but that was nice because she's like the best teacher ever. And no, I did not say hello to the almighty D.Vis (I did wave in her window) but I figured she probably hates me, we slacked off a lot in our little corner of the room, so I felt it wiser to just wander away. Oh, and we saw Chahda, who just rolled her eyes when she saw both Lyla and I together. Poor woman.
Anyway, Mags wasn't so bad, but I'm glad it's effing over. Collegecollegecollege. Only three days away. Really right now I ought to be packing, but I got sort of tired of it. I was working up a sweat- which I'm sure has something to do with the fact that my bedroom tends to a) retain heat and b) is lit by the hottest bloody lamp ever ($20 from Target) and I just replaced two of its lightbulbs, so it seems like daytime in here. (I know no one cares, I tend to ramble)
God I'm so flippin' tired and I can't sleep. Today I literally felt like I was going to pass out, and I lie (or layed or lied or whatever) down to sleep and I could completely not fall asleep. My mind wanders too much.
Carlos Mencia is extremely offensive, but that's alright. Futurama is on.
I also can't eat. I had half a salad today for dinner. Who the hell only eats half a fucking salad?
I should go back to packing.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
I think somebody loved me once
Reel Big Fish makes everyone happy. Even me.
But really, I'm not too upset. I'm doing alright. I only have four more days here. And I finished off what I needed to today (besides shopping, but that's another story) and so I feel like I'm leaving without bringing any ghosts to follow me.
Someone just remind me that once I get into college I have to stop making the mistake of inaction. Just Do It, right? God I'm so fucking retarded. I think that upsets me the most- how goddamn stupid I was. Why didn't I ever listen to Lyla? Too late now. Sorry Loulou.
But I'm at peace. It just rained. I love rain. Rain and thunder and lightning. It was all very clensing.
And I have sound on the laptop, which just cheers me up immensely! I have to pack and still buy a few things, but more or less, I'm all set to go to Columbus, a place which, to me, holds new promise and hope. Corny, I know, but true. I am going to make an honest effort to change- not to be a different person, but to make the right choice, to be honest.
Ultimately I leave behind no regrets, not really. There's some things I should have done. There are some things that could have gone better. But really, all in all, things are okay now. Not perfect, and I feel like they are... different. But I'm okay. I'm okay.
But really, I'm not too upset. I'm doing alright. I only have four more days here. And I finished off what I needed to today (besides shopping, but that's another story) and so I feel like I'm leaving without bringing any ghosts to follow me.
Someone just remind me that once I get into college I have to stop making the mistake of inaction. Just Do It, right? God I'm so fucking retarded. I think that upsets me the most- how goddamn stupid I was. Why didn't I ever listen to Lyla? Too late now. Sorry Loulou.
But I'm at peace. It just rained. I love rain. Rain and thunder and lightning. It was all very clensing.
And I have sound on the laptop, which just cheers me up immensely! I have to pack and still buy a few things, but more or less, I'm all set to go to Columbus, a place which, to me, holds new promise and hope. Corny, I know, but true. I am going to make an honest effort to change- not to be a different person, but to make the right choice, to be honest.
Ultimately I leave behind no regrets, not really. There's some things I should have done. There are some things that could have gone better. But really, all in all, things are okay now. Not perfect, and I feel like they are... different. But I'm okay. I'm okay.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Ten Seconds Left on this Clock
People just continue to irritate me. Not specifically or anything- just the idea of people in general. Seriously.
Anyway, today is already going much better than yesterday, minus the fact that I missed the Sony guy who came around 9 this morning. That's not true, I actually heard the doorbell ring, but I had literally just woke up (I expected him at 11:30) and I looked gross and decided that greeting people wasn't the best of ideas. Yes, I'm that vain about the whole appearance thing. Anyway, he said he'd come back, but thus far, he has not, and he was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago.
So now I'm watching Hamlet, because nothing helps a slightly suicidal soul like a tale of vengance and uncertainty. Ophelia just threw herself off the willow tree. Such a tragic hero- who doesn't love a tragic hero? This is such a great play.
I have tonnes of stuff to do suddenly, most of which entails packing for COLLEGE. Which I am finally leaving for, in five days. I cannot wait. I still have to buy stuff, from a favourite store- Best Buy. Unfortunately I cannot leave for any shopping purposes because I still have to wait for this stupid techie guy to show up.
Anyhoo, I no longer harbour any misgivings about leaving for college. I'm happy to be rid of this place. Cleveland and its surrounding areas is nice, sure, but there is simply nothing and no one here anymore.
This guy had seriously better come soon. I know I'm going to have to spend a gazillion hours updating the laptop again. I already had to overhaul it, and currently there's nothing on it besides AIM trinton and microsoft internet explorer. It's basically completely useless, and all I do is IM people and go on facebook, addicting thing that it is.
WHERE IS THIS MAN?!
I wish it wasn't so dreary outdoors. I also wish it wasn't school season, because Nickelodeon no longer plays cartoons during the afternoon.
Oo! I found my eyeshadow brush!
Anyway, today is already going much better than yesterday, minus the fact that I missed the Sony guy who came around 9 this morning. That's not true, I actually heard the doorbell ring, but I had literally just woke up (I expected him at 11:30) and I looked gross and decided that greeting people wasn't the best of ideas. Yes, I'm that vain about the whole appearance thing. Anyway, he said he'd come back, but thus far, he has not, and he was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago.
So now I'm watching Hamlet, because nothing helps a slightly suicidal soul like a tale of vengance and uncertainty. Ophelia just threw herself off the willow tree. Such a tragic hero- who doesn't love a tragic hero? This is such a great play.
I have tonnes of stuff to do suddenly, most of which entails packing for COLLEGE. Which I am finally leaving for, in five days. I cannot wait. I still have to buy stuff, from a favourite store- Best Buy. Unfortunately I cannot leave for any shopping purposes because I still have to wait for this stupid techie guy to show up.
Anyhoo, I no longer harbour any misgivings about leaving for college. I'm happy to be rid of this place. Cleveland and its surrounding areas is nice, sure, but there is simply nothing and no one here anymore.
This guy had seriously better come soon. I know I'm going to have to spend a gazillion hours updating the laptop again. I already had to overhaul it, and currently there's nothing on it besides AIM trinton and microsoft internet explorer. It's basically completely useless, and all I do is IM people and go on facebook, addicting thing that it is.
WHERE IS THIS MAN?!
I wish it wasn't so dreary outdoors. I also wish it wasn't school season, because Nickelodeon no longer plays cartoons during the afternoon.
Oo! I found my eyeshadow brush!
Monday, September 11, 2006
This is the Sound of My Heart Breakin'
Five years ago today I woke up and noticed my ring, my cheap ring from Claire's, the one I loved because it looked like the one Fi from So Wierd had, I noticed it wasn't on my finger but rather sitting on my bedside table. This was unusual. I actually distinctly remember being confused for a minute, then slipping it back on, and thought nothing more of it.
Two hours later my eighth grade social studies class, in the middle of some useless chapter review or another, turned on channel five and saw the smoke rolling out of the tower. We were all quite confused, especially a few minutes later when there was another one.
Now we know what was happening that day. It was much more than a distraction from another monotonous game of Hollywood Squares (St. B's social studies style) or an excuse to get out of one of Joan's crazy labs or a day off of soccer. It was much more. And to this day, I can't help but shake the superstitious thoughts that come to mind when I think about that ring. It's stupid I know. But it's sort of like- I should have known that morning would be different.
I wish I would have had sort of an omen for this weekend.
This weekend wasn't bad. When you get down to the nitty-gritty (is that how you spell that phrase?) of it, I had a blast! I got to see Syd and Sarah and Scotty, and I got drunk, and I made bad choices, and I partied, and I took pictures and I didn't think twice about what I was doing. Except that one time.
Even when you drink, when you're drunk, you know what you're doing. I knew exactly what I was doing. I didn't honestly feel too bad about it. It's not the action so much. It's that I felt bad. I ask myself now- why? No one cares. No one cared then and no one cares now. I wasted an entire day feeling bad about what I did, even though I had no right to at all.
Loulou pointed out that it was probably more that I regret missed opportunity. She's right. She knows, she always knows. That's why I come whining to her during such crises. She knows what needs to be said, and she keeps me from breaking down.
Now, as if my sudden depressing titbit of news today (after eight hours working with mother, no less) wasn't enough- no, no, on top of that we had to go see some super depressing movie called Factorus (maybe?) at Cedar Lee. It wasn't even depressing- it was angsty, angsty like this annoying post right now. It really didn't make me feel any better about my life.
And to SUPER top this off, it's September 11th, which, okay honestly doesn't mean THAT much to me, I know it's a horrible tragedy and all, but I was very little affected by it, I mean, I have my posh, bubbly suburban life to protect me from the horrors of terrorists. But I also read Kite Runner today (an apt novel considering the particular milestone) and that's not exactly a "laugh-out-loud" family comedy.
And just to make things spectacular, I broke a nail, right down to the cuticle, and now my finger hurts.
It's just one of those days, I suppose.
Tomorrow Sony is coming out to fix the laptop so that it's actually sort of useful when I go off to college. Maybe then I'll be cheered up. In the meantime, still no one reads this, and it just feels good to at least begin to sort things out, so whatever. No one cares, I know. I'm sorry for wasting your time.
Two hours later my eighth grade social studies class, in the middle of some useless chapter review or another, turned on channel five and saw the smoke rolling out of the tower. We were all quite confused, especially a few minutes later when there was another one.
Now we know what was happening that day. It was much more than a distraction from another monotonous game of Hollywood Squares (St. B's social studies style) or an excuse to get out of one of Joan's crazy labs or a day off of soccer. It was much more. And to this day, I can't help but shake the superstitious thoughts that come to mind when I think about that ring. It's stupid I know. But it's sort of like- I should have known that morning would be different.
I wish I would have had sort of an omen for this weekend.
This weekend wasn't bad. When you get down to the nitty-gritty (is that how you spell that phrase?) of it, I had a blast! I got to see Syd and Sarah and Scotty, and I got drunk, and I made bad choices, and I partied, and I took pictures and I didn't think twice about what I was doing. Except that one time.
Even when you drink, when you're drunk, you know what you're doing. I knew exactly what I was doing. I didn't honestly feel too bad about it. It's not the action so much. It's that I felt bad. I ask myself now- why? No one cares. No one cared then and no one cares now. I wasted an entire day feeling bad about what I did, even though I had no right to at all.
Loulou pointed out that it was probably more that I regret missed opportunity. She's right. She knows, she always knows. That's why I come whining to her during such crises. She knows what needs to be said, and she keeps me from breaking down.
Now, as if my sudden depressing titbit of news today (after eight hours working with mother, no less) wasn't enough- no, no, on top of that we had to go see some super depressing movie called Factorus (maybe?) at Cedar Lee. It wasn't even depressing- it was angsty, angsty like this annoying post right now. It really didn't make me feel any better about my life.
And to SUPER top this off, it's September 11th, which, okay honestly doesn't mean THAT much to me, I know it's a horrible tragedy and all, but I was very little affected by it, I mean, I have my posh, bubbly suburban life to protect me from the horrors of terrorists. But I also read Kite Runner today (an apt novel considering the particular milestone) and that's not exactly a "laugh-out-loud" family comedy.
And just to make things spectacular, I broke a nail, right down to the cuticle, and now my finger hurts.
It's just one of those days, I suppose.
Tomorrow Sony is coming out to fix the laptop so that it's actually sort of useful when I go off to college. Maybe then I'll be cheered up. In the meantime, still no one reads this, and it just feels good to at least begin to sort things out, so whatever. No one cares, I know. I'm sorry for wasting your time.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Brittle Madness
You know, I haven't written in this thing in forever. I guess summer was just going pretty smoothly, you know, running into a pattern or whatever, and I didn't need to. I haven't written much of anything in a long, long time- with the exception of e-mails to Katelyn, my future roommate, or what is no doubt pages and pages of IMs, none of which I should imagine are particularly thrilling.
I'm pretty sure this site lay more or less forgotten. I think about writing in it occasionally, but I can never really muster anything quality. Since it matters, what with all my die-hard readers and all. Eh, maybe I'll throw it in my buddy profile as a link- and if my roommates come across it, they can be pre-warned about just how crazy I am.
I guess I came here because it's the first time in ages something happened to shake me up. I had absolutely no idea how to handle it. I hate that feeling. We all get it, sure, but I attempt (more or less successfully) to live with the illusion that I can control everything that happens to me- and when necessary, anyone else. Tonight has proved very difinitively that I cannot, in fact, do this.
The worst is when you can't really talk about this stuff. Particularly online, where god knows who is reading this- I mean, I read a nifity (yes, nifity- the 'i' is my own personal touch) article in TIME this week about the stalkerisms of 21st century bosses. I've been doing a lot of reading recently, thanks to my short (and hopefully finished) stint as my mother's secretary. There's not a lot to do around that office, since the few appointments I attempt to schedule seem to go awry and need to be fixed by the real secretary, who is currently holed up on some god-forsaken floor of the very hospital in which we work. I hate hospitals- well, when I'm the patient, anyway. I don't mind an emergency trip to one for someone else- which fortunately has only happened once.
See now here I am rambling about the past, something which, in a week's time, I hope to let go of as thuroughly as possible.
I had a spectacular summer, I really did. Spent it with about the best friends a girl could have. I mean, okay, they (we) were an odd bunch. And there were moments of tension- though I imagine they went unnotticed, as I did my best to pretend otherwise. It's just- I'm not so quick to trust someone the second time around. In fact, I probably won't trust again- nor am I about to expect much of a friendship- but at this point, we'll leave it to bygones. Because got in himmel knows I'm going to OSU in about a week, and I can't wait, and I have to let go, because this is one of those threshold moments of life- when you have the opportunity to use a clean slate, if you so chose to pick it up. Which is exactly what I plan upon doing.
It's not as if I've had a completely stress-free summer. I had a summer job, yes- but oh yeah, it unfortunately burned down (okay, not down down, but there was about 50,000 dollars in damage and it didn't have hopes of opening pre-college). There were some other tense moments, I think, but for the most part, it was smooth sailing- literally, if you consider the two trips to Catawba we took.
Of course, I did have some problems controlling my emotions- it seems they sometimes just don't want to listen to common freaking sense, but I'm almost through that. Almost. A week, right? A week. Then bygones. Then it's over. Because in a week, the summer's over.
I wish you could help those people who really need it. But you never seem to be able to. I don't like sitting here helplessly watching the self-destruction of a friend, any more than I like sitting here in silence, afraid of letting go.
I don't think I'm afraid of falling per se. It's what's waiting for me at the bottom. Which could very well be absolutely nothing. Which would be unpleasant, right? But I should forget about that, because it's not like the loch ness effing monster is going to gobble me up- just my angsty teenage soul, if anything.
Oh, shit, now I'm truly rambling. Well rest assured two things:
a) I'm 100% sober at this time, just tired.
b) I know what I mean in my head.
I'm sort of worried about a select group of fellow alumni. Aka two of them- maybe three. I haven't fully assessed the third one yet. But I'll tell you what- there's a few others who I couldn't give two shits about anymore. Harsh, maybe, but I want to move away from what held me back. Not trying to be a bitch here, just pointing out that it's hard to move forward if you can't let go of that anchor that is the past.
Most likely, this entry will be regretted in the morning. That's alright. It's always the things you don't say you regret. I know that. I know it well.
So why can't I say them?
I'm really not as angsty as I'm sounding. I just got sort of scared tonight, in two respects. Which I think is why I needed to write. Writing makes me feel better.
Oh and for the bloody record, I didn't understand our summer reading book. Was it too deep for me, or was the ending so lame I didn't know the difference? I guess I'll re-skim.
Okay. Okay me. Say it. I have to say it. Not here, no, but it must be said. I know what happens when it isn't. Likewise there are consquenses if you don't choose to let go- but there's always somewhere safe to fall to. And I can't hold on forever.
Though I gues if I did, my arms would be pretty ripped, eh?
I'm delusional. Disregard this as the musings of an idiot.
I'm pretty sure this site lay more or less forgotten. I think about writing in it occasionally, but I can never really muster anything quality. Since it matters, what with all my die-hard readers and all. Eh, maybe I'll throw it in my buddy profile as a link- and if my roommates come across it, they can be pre-warned about just how crazy I am.
I guess I came here because it's the first time in ages something happened to shake me up. I had absolutely no idea how to handle it. I hate that feeling. We all get it, sure, but I attempt (more or less successfully) to live with the illusion that I can control everything that happens to me- and when necessary, anyone else. Tonight has proved very difinitively that I cannot, in fact, do this.
The worst is when you can't really talk about this stuff. Particularly online, where god knows who is reading this- I mean, I read a nifity (yes, nifity- the 'i' is my own personal touch) article in TIME this week about the stalkerisms of 21st century bosses. I've been doing a lot of reading recently, thanks to my short (and hopefully finished) stint as my mother's secretary. There's not a lot to do around that office, since the few appointments I attempt to schedule seem to go awry and need to be fixed by the real secretary, who is currently holed up on some god-forsaken floor of the very hospital in which we work. I hate hospitals- well, when I'm the patient, anyway. I don't mind an emergency trip to one for someone else- which fortunately has only happened once.
See now here I am rambling about the past, something which, in a week's time, I hope to let go of as thuroughly as possible.
I had a spectacular summer, I really did. Spent it with about the best friends a girl could have. I mean, okay, they (we) were an odd bunch. And there were moments of tension- though I imagine they went unnotticed, as I did my best to pretend otherwise. It's just- I'm not so quick to trust someone the second time around. In fact, I probably won't trust again- nor am I about to expect much of a friendship- but at this point, we'll leave it to bygones. Because got in himmel knows I'm going to OSU in about a week, and I can't wait, and I have to let go, because this is one of those threshold moments of life- when you have the opportunity to use a clean slate, if you so chose to pick it up. Which is exactly what I plan upon doing.
It's not as if I've had a completely stress-free summer. I had a summer job, yes- but oh yeah, it unfortunately burned down (okay, not down down, but there was about 50,000 dollars in damage and it didn't have hopes of opening pre-college). There were some other tense moments, I think, but for the most part, it was smooth sailing- literally, if you consider the two trips to Catawba we took.
Of course, I did have some problems controlling my emotions- it seems they sometimes just don't want to listen to common freaking sense, but I'm almost through that. Almost. A week, right? A week. Then bygones. Then it's over. Because in a week, the summer's over.
I wish you could help those people who really need it. But you never seem to be able to. I don't like sitting here helplessly watching the self-destruction of a friend, any more than I like sitting here in silence, afraid of letting go.
I don't think I'm afraid of falling per se. It's what's waiting for me at the bottom. Which could very well be absolutely nothing. Which would be unpleasant, right? But I should forget about that, because it's not like the loch ness effing monster is going to gobble me up- just my angsty teenage soul, if anything.
Oh, shit, now I'm truly rambling. Well rest assured two things:
a) I'm 100% sober at this time, just tired.
b) I know what I mean in my head.
I'm sort of worried about a select group of fellow alumni. Aka two of them- maybe three. I haven't fully assessed the third one yet. But I'll tell you what- there's a few others who I couldn't give two shits about anymore. Harsh, maybe, but I want to move away from what held me back. Not trying to be a bitch here, just pointing out that it's hard to move forward if you can't let go of that anchor that is the past.
Most likely, this entry will be regretted in the morning. That's alright. It's always the things you don't say you regret. I know that. I know it well.
So why can't I say them?
I'm really not as angsty as I'm sounding. I just got sort of scared tonight, in two respects. Which I think is why I needed to write. Writing makes me feel better.
Oh and for the bloody record, I didn't understand our summer reading book. Was it too deep for me, or was the ending so lame I didn't know the difference? I guess I'll re-skim.
Okay. Okay me. Say it. I have to say it. Not here, no, but it must be said. I know what happens when it isn't. Likewise there are consquenses if you don't choose to let go- but there's always somewhere safe to fall to. And I can't hold on forever.
Though I gues if I did, my arms would be pretty ripped, eh?
I'm delusional. Disregard this as the musings of an idiot.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
99 Red Balloons
I like 99 luftbalons. I don't so much like 99 apples. They do bad things to me.
So let's just review how spectacularly things have been going for me. Let's start with my job. I love(d) my job. I worked with cool people, I got paid resonably well, the work wasn't so bad, etc. Friday night I was scheduled to work at 6 pm. Unfortunately, ten and a half hours prior to that, my fine establishment suffered from an early morning fire. The whole place is gutted, there is 50,000 dollars worth of damage, and I am out of a summer job. In addition, I'm probably not going to find another job because I'm only around for another month or so.
Hm, what else? Well, really, that's the only tragedy that has befallen me. But still, it's quite the tragedy. The week has been pretty good otherwise. Not a blast or anything, but still fun. I pretty much don't do anything useful all week and it's delightful. Thursday night I went out with Cait, Shannon, and our maternal parental units. It was pretty fun- we ate at the Siam Cafe (ironically, we discussed eating at Velocity, but decided against it... oops) and then went around the wearhouse district. We got to pet reindeer outside The Velvet Dog, we contemplated going to Spy Bar for 18+ night, and Cait sang on the streetcorner. Really it was pretty quality.
Friday night I got to hang out with Sydnie, who I never see (because she's married to Rory?) so that was fun. We went to Kevin's, where it was Jimmy's turn to be the only one getting drunk off 99 apples while the rest of us remained sober (that was my job on Tuesday). But it was still fun, we watched these rediculous infomercially things about swords and blowguns.
Really I guess those are the highlights. We didn't do anything at all yesterday, it was such a waste of a perfectly good Saturday night. It was also the first one I didn't have some sort of grad party to attend. Today I have five to compensate though- and to make it even better, two are on the east side and one is in Vermillion. Did I mention that those are really far away?
Aye aye aye. I'm thinking about going up to PIB with Mary, Cait, and Marissa, at least for one day. Unfortunately that whole jobless thing puts a lot less bacon (figuratively, I am vegetarian) on the table. Ah, well, you only live once.
So let's just review how spectacularly things have been going for me. Let's start with my job. I love(d) my job. I worked with cool people, I got paid resonably well, the work wasn't so bad, etc. Friday night I was scheduled to work at 6 pm. Unfortunately, ten and a half hours prior to that, my fine establishment suffered from an early morning fire. The whole place is gutted, there is 50,000 dollars worth of damage, and I am out of a summer job. In addition, I'm probably not going to find another job because I'm only around for another month or so.
Hm, what else? Well, really, that's the only tragedy that has befallen me. But still, it's quite the tragedy. The week has been pretty good otherwise. Not a blast or anything, but still fun. I pretty much don't do anything useful all week and it's delightful. Thursday night I went out with Cait, Shannon, and our maternal parental units. It was pretty fun- we ate at the Siam Cafe (ironically, we discussed eating at Velocity, but decided against it... oops) and then went around the wearhouse district. We got to pet reindeer outside The Velvet Dog, we contemplated going to Spy Bar for 18+ night, and Cait sang on the streetcorner. Really it was pretty quality.
Friday night I got to hang out with Sydnie, who I never see (because she's married to Rory?) so that was fun. We went to Kevin's, where it was Jimmy's turn to be the only one getting drunk off 99 apples while the rest of us remained sober (that was my job on Tuesday). But it was still fun, we watched these rediculous infomercially things about swords and blowguns.
Really I guess those are the highlights. We didn't do anything at all yesterday, it was such a waste of a perfectly good Saturday night. It was also the first one I didn't have some sort of grad party to attend. Today I have five to compensate though- and to make it even better, two are on the east side and one is in Vermillion. Did I mention that those are really far away?
Aye aye aye. I'm thinking about going up to PIB with Mary, Cait, and Marissa, at least for one day. Unfortunately that whole jobless thing puts a lot less bacon (figuratively, I am vegetarian) on the table. Ah, well, you only live once.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
They're not going to laugh at me again
Oh, me. I don't konw what to do with myself these days. I got my AP scores back, and taking into account my scores, it turns out that I'm a sophomore in college. I don't really know how to react to that news. I mean, yes, I find it amusing. But beyond that? I don't know. It seems very strange to me. Like all of a sudden I'm a year older, and the people I'm expecting to be friends with and whatnot aren't really going to be the ones I'm in classes with. I don't know, I'm making no sense. Only in my head do I make sense. And no one seems to know what's going on in there.
I feel strange I suppose. It's a juncture in life, right? Right between high school and college- it's wierd... You don't belong anywhere. Of course I never really feel like I belong. Sure, I have illusions at time, but in reality I don't belong anywhere with anyone. It's my own fault, I know that. There's something about me that makes me remove myself from others. Not completely. Just enough so that I cannot make a proper human connection or something. I guess I'm a solitary being, right? Yeah, let's go with that.
I don't know. I never know. I'm just out of it as usual I guess. I have a problem. I just wish I knew what it is.
Oh well. Orientation is tomorrow. I cannot wait. Another junction in life. Another chance to start over that probably won't work out for me.
I feel strange I suppose. It's a juncture in life, right? Right between high school and college- it's wierd... You don't belong anywhere. Of course I never really feel like I belong. Sure, I have illusions at time, but in reality I don't belong anywhere with anyone. It's my own fault, I know that. There's something about me that makes me remove myself from others. Not completely. Just enough so that I cannot make a proper human connection or something. I guess I'm a solitary being, right? Yeah, let's go with that.
I don't know. I never know. I'm just out of it as usual I guess. I have a problem. I just wish I knew what it is.
Oh well. Orientation is tomorrow. I cannot wait. Another junction in life. Another chance to start over that probably won't work out for me.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Prancing Nugat in the Meadow
That Snickers commercial makes me laugh.
Today I noted that I really like those coffee delight creamers. My two favourite flavours? Amaretto and Irish Cream. Could I possibly be more alcoholic? My mom sort of rolled her eyes when I pointed it out to her. It's not that I like them BECAUSE they are liquor though- I like them because they taste the bestest. Coincidence. Let's go with that.
Last night was the delightful Reel Big Fish concert. It was delightfully fun and amusing. We all met together at Saber's apartment, which is awesome, and then walked together to the concierto. Reel big Fish played for about an hour and a half. It was soo spectacular. Ed, Skoch, and I were the only ones awesome enough to stand on the floor- but it was so worth the amount of sweat I had to endure. Which, by the way, was a lot. My personal space was violated excessively. But that's okay, we all make sacrifices for music.
Now I'm watching Planet of the Apes, the new version. I've seen it before, but I forgot how creepy it is when the ape lasy falls in love with Mark Wahlberg. It's gross, really.
Well let's see, what else is going on? Not really a whole lot. Orientation is in three days!! I simply cannot wait, I hear such great things about it, I'm vastly excited. Oh, the future is so near.
Okay I'm done. It's nearly World Cup time, and I have to go to Bodine's and Shannon's still.
Today I noted that I really like those coffee delight creamers. My two favourite flavours? Amaretto and Irish Cream. Could I possibly be more alcoholic? My mom sort of rolled her eyes when I pointed it out to her. It's not that I like them BECAUSE they are liquor though- I like them because they taste the bestest. Coincidence. Let's go with that.
Last night was the delightful Reel Big Fish concert. It was delightfully fun and amusing. We all met together at Saber's apartment, which is awesome, and then walked together to the concierto. Reel big Fish played for about an hour and a half. It was soo spectacular. Ed, Skoch, and I were the only ones awesome enough to stand on the floor- but it was so worth the amount of sweat I had to endure. Which, by the way, was a lot. My personal space was violated excessively. But that's okay, we all make sacrifices for music.
Now I'm watching Planet of the Apes, the new version. I've seen it before, but I forgot how creepy it is when the ape lasy falls in love with Mark Wahlberg. It's gross, really.
Well let's see, what else is going on? Not really a whole lot. Orientation is in three days!! I simply cannot wait, I hear such great things about it, I'm vastly excited. Oh, the future is so near.
Okay I'm done. It's nearly World Cup time, and I have to go to Bodine's and Shannon's still.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
God's Good Ocean Gone Wrong
Oh god. It's been about twenty-four hours since I slept, not counting the awkward and uncomfortable sleep I got in the Skoch's car while wedged between Ricky and Skoch.
I'm pretty much only blogging in an attempt to stay awake for ten more minutes while my white strips are setting.
So let's talk about my fourth. Okay. Well in the morning I went to the mall and purchased a Coach purse! I was very excited. I have few friends who actually share in my excitement. Sydnie was very proud of me and helped me decide. Elizabeth thinks I'm insane. Kristen and Caitlin were fond. And at that point I pretty much ran out of friends who can actually appreciate a Coach purse for what it is- a glorious waste of 200 dollars. But I'm fond of it so screw you all.
Then I went to Skoch's house and we watched some quality episodes of Sienfield while waiting for Ricky to come. When he did, we travelled to the far away land of Catawba, and joined, of all people, the Blakeslees for a summer-fest. I attempted to learn to water-ski at one point, and now I'm rather sore from that. Kristen joined us as well. We all did wonderful amusing feats such as tubing and waterskiing and then we came in for dinner.
Thus we ate and it was marvelous. I feasted upon carrots and salad. Kevin, Ricky, and I spent much time longing for beers. Kevin a little too much perhaps. Then we "watched fireworks" which were gay because they were all far away except for the stupid ones the people next to us were firing off.
Wow I'm losing control of my motor functions at this point.
Anyway, so Kristen had to leave so Skoch and Ricky and Kevin and Ben and I hung out on the delightful... veranda? I don't even know... and talked and played with fire and all was great. Eventually Kevin and Ben gave up on the frigid outdoors, but Ricky and Skoch and I remained all night, in the freezing gusts (we did make skoch get us blankets. he got one blanket and a sleeping bag. Ricky curled himself into the sleeping bag like a burrito and skoch and I had to share the stupid crocheted piece of crap) There were some incidents involving floating lights, herons, and haikus. But I don't remember them much.
Then I had a fiber-filled breakfast and then we came home. And here I am.
And I still have two minutes before my whitestrips are done.
Whatever, maybe Lyla emailed me.
I'm pretty much only blogging in an attempt to stay awake for ten more minutes while my white strips are setting.
So let's talk about my fourth. Okay. Well in the morning I went to the mall and purchased a Coach purse! I was very excited. I have few friends who actually share in my excitement. Sydnie was very proud of me and helped me decide. Elizabeth thinks I'm insane. Kristen and Caitlin were fond. And at that point I pretty much ran out of friends who can actually appreciate a Coach purse for what it is- a glorious waste of 200 dollars. But I'm fond of it so screw you all.
Then I went to Skoch's house and we watched some quality episodes of Sienfield while waiting for Ricky to come. When he did, we travelled to the far away land of Catawba, and joined, of all people, the Blakeslees for a summer-fest. I attempted to learn to water-ski at one point, and now I'm rather sore from that. Kristen joined us as well. We all did wonderful amusing feats such as tubing and waterskiing and then we came in for dinner.
Thus we ate and it was marvelous. I feasted upon carrots and salad. Kevin, Ricky, and I spent much time longing for beers. Kevin a little too much perhaps. Then we "watched fireworks" which were gay because they were all far away except for the stupid ones the people next to us were firing off.
Wow I'm losing control of my motor functions at this point.
Anyway, so Kristen had to leave so Skoch and Ricky and Kevin and Ben and I hung out on the delightful... veranda? I don't even know... and talked and played with fire and all was great. Eventually Kevin and Ben gave up on the frigid outdoors, but Ricky and Skoch and I remained all night, in the freezing gusts (we did make skoch get us blankets. he got one blanket and a sleeping bag. Ricky curled himself into the sleeping bag like a burrito and skoch and I had to share the stupid crocheted piece of crap) There were some incidents involving floating lights, herons, and haikus. But I don't remember them much.
Then I had a fiber-filled breakfast and then we came home. And here I am.
And I still have two minutes before my whitestrips are done.
Whatever, maybe Lyla emailed me.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Tearing Out the Sutures
I finished reading Flowers for Algernon. It was incredibly depressing. Yet it was a really good novel and I enjoyed reading it immensely. It's one of those delightful "thinking novels". yet now, here I am, watching Jimmy Neutron, one of the few Nicktoons I don't regularly enjoy. That and Catscratch. I loathe Catscratch.
Anyway. I'm pleasantly and thuroughly depressed at this point in my summer. As usual, not entirely clear on why. I have an idea, though. But it's always just an idea.
I am also disappointed because we were supposed to see the fireworks tonight at Avon Commons, just like the last two years. Unfortnately the rain makes that look unlikely. And the rain date is Saturday, and I already bought my ticket to Reel Big Fish. Which is actually far superior to fireworks, but still.
The most unfortunate is that I now have nothign really to do tonight, and I have to get out of here pretty soon or my parents will force me to consume dinner with them. Which is painful. I can't talk to them anymore. It stresses me out and I don't even know why.
Um, well, screw this.
Anyway. I'm pleasantly and thuroughly depressed at this point in my summer. As usual, not entirely clear on why. I have an idea, though. But it's always just an idea.
I am also disappointed because we were supposed to see the fireworks tonight at Avon Commons, just like the last two years. Unfortnately the rain makes that look unlikely. And the rain date is Saturday, and I already bought my ticket to Reel Big Fish. Which is actually far superior to fireworks, but still.
The most unfortunate is that I now have nothign really to do tonight, and I have to get out of here pretty soon or my parents will force me to consume dinner with them. Which is painful. I can't talk to them anymore. It stresses me out and I don't even know why.
Um, well, screw this.
Friday, June 30, 2006
We Live on Front Porches
We really do. Sometimes back ones, as well. But that's just what we do.
Good news. The return button works again.
Once, many years (two) ago, I wrote an entry on the loss of my cellular device at the time, commonly known as Norbert. Norbert was a good phone. Ghetto as hell, but he worked. Usually. Where he went that day was unknown until only a few hours ago, when he was discovered in the car of Dan Galmo. Amazing, isn't it? After all these years, my poor cell phone was found in his car. I find it amusing. There's nothing really to be done at this point about it. Except rub it into my parents' faces that Norbert was not stolen, but rather misplaced. Which means that though I have had five phones, now only one of the five was actually lost forever. To a crackwhore in Cleveland. Though I am just waiting for the police to call or something and be like... um... yeah we brought some woman in for prostitution... she had your phone. So you can like, have it back. That would make my day if that actually happened.
I woke up sick again, though just managed to eat some veggie burgers. I love veggie burgers. They are so good. Yummy in my tummy.
Clearly, there's not much to write about. It's the same thing everyday. Work. Hanging out on people's porches. Internet. Sleep. But the sleep part usually lasts for maybe an hour a day. I was flipping through my horoscope and the wellness one said, "be cautious of your emotional state, and don't let it affect your sleep." Ooooops. I suck at that. I'm super emo, though honestly, sitting at home watching some Jimmy Neutron movie cheered me up significantly. I just wish I didn't have to work tonight. In two hours. Errg. I can only hope I'm set free early, but it looks doubtful at best.
You know, I'm not clear on why I went back to writing in this. No one ever actually reads it. Maybe it just makes me feel better to write in it. These days I feel like I don't have any friends left to rely on or to share stuff with. Which is not to say I don't have friends- I'm not that pathetic- but I just don't have ones that I feel trusting of. There are two people I always know I can share with, and one of them is 5,000 miles away in the heart of the Middle East and the other has her own problems and doesn't need mine. I really don't like talking to people about whatever's bothering me (which, right now, I'm not entirely sure what it is) but sometimes it's the only way to feel better. Maybe if I could just find someone to talk to I wouldn't be so sick. I have a constant pit in my stomach, a constant feeling of nausea. (and a complete inability to spell, forgive me) I think I'm not really sick physically, but so emotionally sick that it manifests itself in my physical well-being. I am not a stable person, am I? I only wish I was. I wish I was a lot of things. Most notably, not myself.
So I guess that's why I dump on this bloge. Ironic, perhaps, as it is technically accesable (okay, eff spelling, seriously) to the whole internet yet no one ever looks at it. I don't blame them. I wouldn't. But it's here, just waiting in case one day someone cares.
Good news. The return button works again.
Once, many years (two) ago, I wrote an entry on the loss of my cellular device at the time, commonly known as Norbert. Norbert was a good phone. Ghetto as hell, but he worked. Usually. Where he went that day was unknown until only a few hours ago, when he was discovered in the car of Dan Galmo. Amazing, isn't it? After all these years, my poor cell phone was found in his car. I find it amusing. There's nothing really to be done at this point about it. Except rub it into my parents' faces that Norbert was not stolen, but rather misplaced. Which means that though I have had five phones, now only one of the five was actually lost forever. To a crackwhore in Cleveland. Though I am just waiting for the police to call or something and be like... um... yeah we brought some woman in for prostitution... she had your phone. So you can like, have it back. That would make my day if that actually happened.
I woke up sick again, though just managed to eat some veggie burgers. I love veggie burgers. They are so good. Yummy in my tummy.
Clearly, there's not much to write about. It's the same thing everyday. Work. Hanging out on people's porches. Internet. Sleep. But the sleep part usually lasts for maybe an hour a day. I was flipping through my horoscope and the wellness one said, "be cautious of your emotional state, and don't let it affect your sleep." Ooooops. I suck at that. I'm super emo, though honestly, sitting at home watching some Jimmy Neutron movie cheered me up significantly. I just wish I didn't have to work tonight. In two hours. Errg. I can only hope I'm set free early, but it looks doubtful at best.
You know, I'm not clear on why I went back to writing in this. No one ever actually reads it. Maybe it just makes me feel better to write in it. These days I feel like I don't have any friends left to rely on or to share stuff with. Which is not to say I don't have friends- I'm not that pathetic- but I just don't have ones that I feel trusting of. There are two people I always know I can share with, and one of them is 5,000 miles away in the heart of the Middle East and the other has her own problems and doesn't need mine. I really don't like talking to people about whatever's bothering me (which, right now, I'm not entirely sure what it is) but sometimes it's the only way to feel better. Maybe if I could just find someone to talk to I wouldn't be so sick. I have a constant pit in my stomach, a constant feeling of nausea. (and a complete inability to spell, forgive me) I think I'm not really sick physically, but so emotionally sick that it manifests itself in my physical well-being. I am not a stable person, am I? I only wish I was. I wish I was a lot of things. Most notably, not myself.
So I guess that's why I dump on this bloge. Ironic, perhaps, as it is technically accesable (okay, eff spelling, seriously) to the whole internet yet no one ever looks at it. I don't blame them. I wouldn't. But it's here, just waiting in case one day someone cares.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
They Call 'Em Rouges
This morning I stumbled upon my blog again in an interesting way. I started typing the link for facebook into the search engine, when my fingers just began typing the link to my blog instead. It was odd. But I visited it anyway, and I found that just yesterday Shannon left me a comment, noting that I used to spend a lot more time writing in here than I do now. This, naturally, made me feel a little ashamed, as I have had this bloge since I was a lowly high school freshman and now, here I am, about to be the same thing, but for college, and I have already abandoned my roots. And I'm not even leaving Ohio. Because it's for lovers, and that's what I am. Sometimes. also annoying is the fact that I cannot aparently use the return button to go down a line. so there is going to be a lot of akward spacing, I apologize. Anyway. The summer has been going on for approximately forever at this point. I haven't been in school since Genesis,really, so it's been well over a month since I did anything realatively intelegent. I did manage to get a job, at a nice restaurant on Clifton, and it's pretty fun as I work with Trish, Caitlin, Kristen, and Skoch. We make things fun. Plus the rest of our co-workers are... interesting at least. Which makes things fun. Let's see, what else? I came down with a nice flu the last few days- I got up to 104 on the thermometer before my fever broke at 4 am yesterday. It was sweet. And did having a temperature stop me from going out? No, of course not, I spent the evening freezing away on Ed's porch with Kristen because all the other guys needed male bonding time... I thought only girls did that whole "single-sex night out" thing. Anyway, I'm stillcoughing up delicious phlem, which I jsut sneezed onto my keyboard and so my spacebar isn't working. And none of you wanted to know that. But no one actually reads this. So whatever. Um, yeah, let's see. Not a whole lot more. Lots and lots of grad parties, which are a blast. I had mine this past weekend- I feel bad, I never sent out invites and I feel as though people might be a bit bitter about that. Oh, well. They only missed canoe rides and Qdoba. okay. that's all I've got. forgive the spacing. I'm giving up on this until my computer gets fixed, which will hopefully be after the great trip to the East Side this weekend.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Suck my Back
It's been a really, really long time. I haven't done much blogging. Clearly, there's no one really out there to care. I've been so busy though. APs, finals, Prom, Genesis... the list never seems to end. The few free moments I have are spent sleeping (hey I never said I was cool).
Geez. Well. I took AP tests for pretty much one week straight. Probably failed them all. I don't really care, however. It's OSU whatever. I'm totally stoked to go, but it's not like having fives on all my APs really means anything. Then after APs were... oh yeah prom. That was super fun, I mean, as fun as dances generally are. After prom finals came. Spanish and English weren't so bad. History and Chem basically raped me. Then began genesis. I'm at Bonne Bell. it's pretty cool, I'm moving around to different places everyday, so at least I'm stimulated.
You know I'm tired. This entry was a lot more entertaining in my brain. Screw it, I'm done.
Geez. Well. I took AP tests for pretty much one week straight. Probably failed them all. I don't really care, however. It's OSU whatever. I'm totally stoked to go, but it's not like having fives on all my APs really means anything. Then after APs were... oh yeah prom. That was super fun, I mean, as fun as dances generally are. After prom finals came. Spanish and English weren't so bad. History and Chem basically raped me. Then began genesis. I'm at Bonne Bell. it's pretty cool, I'm moving around to different places everyday, so at least I'm stimulated.
You know I'm tired. This entry was a lot more entertaining in my brain. Screw it, I'm done.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Right about now I am supposed to be working on my Journey project. However, for once in my life I have worked ahead and I don’t have anything to do and I already got yelled at by Stockhausen for looking up prom dresses. But no way am I going back to the Theology room, as anyone worth talking to is here in the computer lab. So, in order to avert trouble, I am typing this in such a font that it is unreadable and looks like I am writing one of the stupid journals.
So the random bullshit moment of the day has already occurred. While sitting in Chemistry, waiting for class to begin (as I’ve taken to actually paying attention) Ms. Debrowski comes in and asks me, “What are you doing the evening of May fifteenth?” Naturally, the complete randomness of this question threw me off guard, so I replied somewhat stupidly, “uhhh…. Nothing?” She in turn responded, “you are attending a special dinner for the winners of the polymer essay contest.” I sort of stared blankly and dully responded, “oh…” Actually, it is pretty funny that I won that contest, as I in no means actually tried to win. I just wanted the ten extra credit points. Wait, did I say want? I mean… need. I still need extra credit. Maybe I can bargain with her for extra credit for winning. That would be absolutely spectacular. Anyway, it’s all good, because I get a free dinner at Case and also cash! Cash is awesome. Prizes are awesome. I don’t know how much I get, but hopefully it’s enough to compensate for Prom, which I sort of ended up paying for. My parents don’t know that, though. They don’t even know that I’ve asked someone. Basically my family’s communication is at a minimum. But that’s okay because I’m LEAVING soon! Hoorah!
Yes, it’s basically official. In the fall I shall be attending The Ohio State University. I wasn’t exactly thrilled at first, but that’s okay. It’s going to be fun. Nina’s going, and I love her, Elizabeth’s going, and she’s been my BFF, and Sean’s going and he’s just sweet. So basically it’s going to be a great time. Party central, sabes? And the best part about college is: no Theology! I love state schools that cannot receive money to fund stupid creationism classes. Life is blissful.
And class is over, thank god. Kill me. Onward to the joy of my day that is known as History.
So the random bullshit moment of the day has already occurred. While sitting in Chemistry, waiting for class to begin (as I’ve taken to actually paying attention) Ms. Debrowski comes in and asks me, “What are you doing the evening of May fifteenth?” Naturally, the complete randomness of this question threw me off guard, so I replied somewhat stupidly, “uhhh…. Nothing?” She in turn responded, “you are attending a special dinner for the winners of the polymer essay contest.” I sort of stared blankly and dully responded, “oh…” Actually, it is pretty funny that I won that contest, as I in no means actually tried to win. I just wanted the ten extra credit points. Wait, did I say want? I mean… need. I still need extra credit. Maybe I can bargain with her for extra credit for winning. That would be absolutely spectacular. Anyway, it’s all good, because I get a free dinner at Case and also cash! Cash is awesome. Prizes are awesome. I don’t know how much I get, but hopefully it’s enough to compensate for Prom, which I sort of ended up paying for. My parents don’t know that, though. They don’t even know that I’ve asked someone. Basically my family’s communication is at a minimum. But that’s okay because I’m LEAVING soon! Hoorah!
Yes, it’s basically official. In the fall I shall be attending The Ohio State University. I wasn’t exactly thrilled at first, but that’s okay. It’s going to be fun. Nina’s going, and I love her, Elizabeth’s going, and she’s been my BFF, and Sean’s going and he’s just sweet. So basically it’s going to be a great time. Party central, sabes? And the best part about college is: no Theology! I love state schools that cannot receive money to fund stupid creationism classes. Life is blissful.
And class is over, thank god. Kill me. Onward to the joy of my day that is known as History.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
They All Go Hand in Hand
As Spring Break nears the halfway mark, I feel the overwhelming need to impart to you, dear readers (aka no one basically) the beauty that is... vacation!
(Let's be honest, I was inspired because Shannon wrote in her blog, and I felt the overwhelming need to write in mine, though my creativity is minimal compared ot hers, miss "I-am-good-at-everything")
Right now I'm sitting in the downstairs computer because my laptop has basically officially reached critical shit mass. On the bright side, actually having sound means I spend my days rocking out to german and spanish songs (99 luftballons and a contracorriente) by myself in my library. And SIMS, which I felt the overwhelming need to take off my computer and put on here, has much better graphics. it's both disappointing and exciting, because none of my houses co-ordinate any longer. But it smells bad here. Then again, my room is also hitting critical shit mass, sooooo maybe it's not that bad? Comparitively, of course.
Let's see. How did my break go? No one cares, but I feel like sharing anyway.
Thursday: Went with Megan to Iggy's and delivered food to the one and only Tischler. That was cool, no prom date sucess, however. After spending the afternoon frolicing and being random, I went home and went off later to OSU with Liz. It was pretty fun there. I mean we just chilled in Annie's dorm with her and Jill and Katie and Rachel, so it was basically a Mags reunion, and neither Liz nor I felt much like drinking, so we were pretty chill. But it was nice enough and I suppose I can handle going there for four years. Minus the whole idea that I'm going to be stuck in classes with Bill Fox. Can you please kill me now? Elizabeth and I got some good bonding in though, so it was cool.
Friday: hung out on High Street and around the quad for a while whilst Liz was in her stupid meeting. As soon as I got home, Lyla commanded me to come over and entertain her. So I obeyed, because I am her bitch. We hung out for a while, and Luke came over and Roba, Lyla, Luke, and I shared a holy friday meal... which eventually lead to a lot of gas. (don't worry that's sort of a joke between us all) So we sort of ran around doing nothing for a while, until dusk hit, and we felt like doing something.. so we all (John joined in) played Risk, which I have never played before, but D. Vis inspired me. Actually I was doing pretty well, I had control of europe, but Lyla didn't have any continents (Luke had like Africa or something and John had sudamerica I think.... can you tell we used this opportunity to be super racist?) and so she got frustrated and we stopped playing and eventually I went home.
Saturday I don't really know what I did all day. I think it involved a lot of sitting on my ass, but I'm not positive. That night I went off with Megan and Clare and Tisch and we watched The Weatherman, which was a wierd movie. It was funny, but I odn't know if it was supposed to be.
Sunday was Easter. A family night. It sucked. That's all.
Yesterday I was very efficient in the afternoon. Bought clothes and all that good stuff. For the evening I just hung out with Kati and we went on a super-secret mision to s-ville, which was an adventure, we wound up on Boston Road somehow... almost turned around in a shady warehouse... decided against it. But it was funny just driving around liek foolios, and dacing to Cascada and whatnot, and checking out the many many people at Applebee's.
Today I was furtherly efficient with the afternoon, and I went to Shannon's house and watched Brokeback Mountain, which, yes, was good, but I can't help but think it was slightly overrated. I think that has to do with the fact that everyone made it seem SUPURB, but it was only good. I came home, mourned my computer's shit state for a while, and then napped. When I woke up I called Kati and she and Erika and I went to Ricky's for a bonfire. It was really super fun. I saw Meggie! I never get to see her, so it was tres exciting. And we set shit in fire, which never gets old. And I drove this totally random kid home and we talked the whole ride about alky stories. So fun.
I miss Caitlin Anne. I don't like not hanging out with her on my spring break. It makes me sad.
In the meantime it's suddenly really late, and Miguel is making my brain hurt, so I'm off to bed.
(Let's be honest, I was inspired because Shannon wrote in her blog, and I felt the overwhelming need to write in mine, though my creativity is minimal compared ot hers, miss "I-am-good-at-everything")
Right now I'm sitting in the downstairs computer because my laptop has basically officially reached critical shit mass. On the bright side, actually having sound means I spend my days rocking out to german and spanish songs (99 luftballons and a contracorriente) by myself in my library. And SIMS, which I felt the overwhelming need to take off my computer and put on here, has much better graphics. it's both disappointing and exciting, because none of my houses co-ordinate any longer. But it smells bad here. Then again, my room is also hitting critical shit mass, sooooo maybe it's not that bad? Comparitively, of course.
Let's see. How did my break go? No one cares, but I feel like sharing anyway.
Thursday: Went with Megan to Iggy's and delivered food to the one and only Tischler. That was cool, no prom date sucess, however. After spending the afternoon frolicing and being random, I went home and went off later to OSU with Liz. It was pretty fun there. I mean we just chilled in Annie's dorm with her and Jill and Katie and Rachel, so it was basically a Mags reunion, and neither Liz nor I felt much like drinking, so we were pretty chill. But it was nice enough and I suppose I can handle going there for four years. Minus the whole idea that I'm going to be stuck in classes with Bill Fox. Can you please kill me now? Elizabeth and I got some good bonding in though, so it was cool.
Friday: hung out on High Street and around the quad for a while whilst Liz was in her stupid meeting. As soon as I got home, Lyla commanded me to come over and entertain her. So I obeyed, because I am her bitch. We hung out for a while, and Luke came over and Roba, Lyla, Luke, and I shared a holy friday meal... which eventually lead to a lot of gas. (don't worry that's sort of a joke between us all) So we sort of ran around doing nothing for a while, until dusk hit, and we felt like doing something.. so we all (John joined in) played Risk, which I have never played before, but D. Vis inspired me. Actually I was doing pretty well, I had control of europe, but Lyla didn't have any continents (Luke had like Africa or something and John had sudamerica I think.... can you tell we used this opportunity to be super racist?) and so she got frustrated and we stopped playing and eventually I went home.
Saturday I don't really know what I did all day. I think it involved a lot of sitting on my ass, but I'm not positive. That night I went off with Megan and Clare and Tisch and we watched The Weatherman, which was a wierd movie. It was funny, but I odn't know if it was supposed to be.
Sunday was Easter. A family night. It sucked. That's all.
Yesterday I was very efficient in the afternoon. Bought clothes and all that good stuff. For the evening I just hung out with Kati and we went on a super-secret mision to s-ville, which was an adventure, we wound up on Boston Road somehow... almost turned around in a shady warehouse... decided against it. But it was funny just driving around liek foolios, and dacing to Cascada and whatnot, and checking out the many many people at Applebee's.
Today I was furtherly efficient with the afternoon, and I went to Shannon's house and watched Brokeback Mountain, which, yes, was good, but I can't help but think it was slightly overrated. I think that has to do with the fact that everyone made it seem SUPURB, but it was only good. I came home, mourned my computer's shit state for a while, and then napped. When I woke up I called Kati and she and Erika and I went to Ricky's for a bonfire. It was really super fun. I saw Meggie! I never get to see her, so it was tres exciting. And we set shit in fire, which never gets old. And I drove this totally random kid home and we talked the whole ride about alky stories. So fun.
I miss Caitlin Anne. I don't like not hanging out with her on my spring break. It makes me sad.
In the meantime it's suddenly really late, and Miguel is making my brain hurt, so I'm off to bed.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
It Feels Good to Lose Control of Everything
So today was, at the very least, interesting. By all general standards, it was a pretty awful day. Let's begin though.
I woke up late, at about 9:30am, which is just far too late for me to funciton on a Saturday. I did not exercise. I got yelled at several times by both parental units to fill out my University of Chicago forms, which wouldn't be that bad, but did they really both have to tell me about three times each? Danny Phantom was a repeat, and they only played one, and played Jimmy Neutron instead, which sucks. So I decided to go shopping. I went to Famous Footwear. Where I planned to exchange my shoes sort of, so I could get a discount. But I decided to check Dilliard's first, so as soon as I arrived at FF, I left. I got to the corner of Clague and Centre Ridge, and well... basically I thought this person was going to turn right, as they started moving forward, so I accelerated so that I could make the same right turn (the ligth was red) and sadly bumped into the rear bumper. It was, ironically enough, some Maggot sophomore driving with her temps (poor girl, I really do feel badly about that) and her dad- who was a complete prick and made a big deal about it and I just wanted to say, "shut up, I wasn't going anything over five miles an hour." Wisely, I refrained. Basically a whole bunch of nonsense ensued- I had to call mother to keep the guy from beating me up- the prick cheered right up once she showed up, of course. The parentals minimized lectures, thankfully enough, as they know I punish myself enough, I don't need them to jump in.
Then, since I had to call my mom, I wound up going shopping with her- which was alright, as she did buy me some nice stuff, but honestly, I wanted alone time. Then I came home and realized that most of my friends were either out of town (Elizabeth, Caitlin, Shannon) or already had plans (Sydnie, Lyla, etc..) and that I had nothing to do with my evening. That depressed me for a while so I slept. It actually didn't depress me, I was just bummed because I was really in the mood to go out.
Fortunately, Sean IMed me (gotta love the internet) and invited me over to, "knock back a few" with him and Keller, so I went over. Only, on my way, I hit a live animal, AKA a GOOSE. Can someone please tell me why said goose was not intelligent enough to FLY THE FUCK AWAY?! Hello, you have wings, Mr. Goosey. Use them. I totally didn't see it, either... one minute this crazy ass Cadillac is swerving, and the next minute there's a goose five inches from my car. I couldn't hit my breaks fast enough not to hit it. Then, even though I stopped at the laserwash on the way to Sean's, my whole car smelled like roasting Thanksgiving turkey... which would be alright, maybe, if they smell of meat didn't make me involintarly ill. But I eventually came to Sean's, played beer pong (not with beer, of course, no me gustan las cervezas) and hung out, reminicing of times long past, and discussing the upcoming bball games of importance. (I know nothing about bball.) It was a pretty good time. Quarrels (or however it's spelled) and some other Asseem kid stopped over, too. Great times were had by all- particularly knockin' on some new enemies, old friends.
The ride home was uneventful except- my car smelled like BURNT thanksgiving turkey the rest of the way home, and I managed to see my handiwork on Centre Ridge on the way home- there was a stripped down bird in the middle of the road- oops. It was honestly pretty sick.
Other disgusting thing: got a C or two on my report card. Excuse me. I'm dying. I wish I was that goose. And I wish school wasn't so painful these days.
Oddly enough, I'm still not emo, despite the general calamity of the day. Oh, well. Tomorrow means trip to EAton and possibly the Ed's rugby game if I'm super motivated. Adios.
I woke up late, at about 9:30am, which is just far too late for me to funciton on a Saturday. I did not exercise. I got yelled at several times by both parental units to fill out my University of Chicago forms, which wouldn't be that bad, but did they really both have to tell me about three times each? Danny Phantom was a repeat, and they only played one, and played Jimmy Neutron instead, which sucks. So I decided to go shopping. I went to Famous Footwear. Where I planned to exchange my shoes sort of, so I could get a discount. But I decided to check Dilliard's first, so as soon as I arrived at FF, I left. I got to the corner of Clague and Centre Ridge, and well... basically I thought this person was going to turn right, as they started moving forward, so I accelerated so that I could make the same right turn (the ligth was red) and sadly bumped into the rear bumper. It was, ironically enough, some Maggot sophomore driving with her temps (poor girl, I really do feel badly about that) and her dad- who was a complete prick and made a big deal about it and I just wanted to say, "shut up, I wasn't going anything over five miles an hour." Wisely, I refrained. Basically a whole bunch of nonsense ensued- I had to call mother to keep the guy from beating me up- the prick cheered right up once she showed up, of course. The parentals minimized lectures, thankfully enough, as they know I punish myself enough, I don't need them to jump in.
Then, since I had to call my mom, I wound up going shopping with her- which was alright, as she did buy me some nice stuff, but honestly, I wanted alone time. Then I came home and realized that most of my friends were either out of town (Elizabeth, Caitlin, Shannon) or already had plans (Sydnie, Lyla, etc..) and that I had nothing to do with my evening. That depressed me for a while so I slept. It actually didn't depress me, I was just bummed because I was really in the mood to go out.
Fortunately, Sean IMed me (gotta love the internet) and invited me over to, "knock back a few" with him and Keller, so I went over. Only, on my way, I hit a live animal, AKA a GOOSE. Can someone please tell me why said goose was not intelligent enough to FLY THE FUCK AWAY?! Hello, you have wings, Mr. Goosey. Use them. I totally didn't see it, either... one minute this crazy ass Cadillac is swerving, and the next minute there's a goose five inches from my car. I couldn't hit my breaks fast enough not to hit it. Then, even though I stopped at the laserwash on the way to Sean's, my whole car smelled like roasting Thanksgiving turkey... which would be alright, maybe, if they smell of meat didn't make me involintarly ill. But I eventually came to Sean's, played beer pong (not with beer, of course, no me gustan las cervezas) and hung out, reminicing of times long past, and discussing the upcoming bball games of importance. (I know nothing about bball.) It was a pretty good time. Quarrels (or however it's spelled) and some other Asseem kid stopped over, too. Great times were had by all- particularly knockin' on some new enemies, old friends.
The ride home was uneventful except- my car smelled like BURNT thanksgiving turkey the rest of the way home, and I managed to see my handiwork on Centre Ridge on the way home- there was a stripped down bird in the middle of the road- oops. It was honestly pretty sick.
Other disgusting thing: got a C or two on my report card. Excuse me. I'm dying. I wish I was that goose. And I wish school wasn't so painful these days.
Oddly enough, I'm still not emo, despite the general calamity of the day. Oh, well. Tomorrow means trip to EAton and possibly the Ed's rugby game if I'm super motivated. Adios.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Reasons Why Today Was a Good Day
1.) woke up to the beautiful sun
2.) had a dream I was rich and famous and that life didn't suck
3.) listened to 99 luftballons.... for the 40th straight time in a row
4.) thirty minute classes
5.) froliced in the warmth and sun at lunch
6.) Qdoba put their cactus out- took pictures with it
7.) bought shoes for graduation
8.) talked to flamboyant man at Brugger's
9.) left school at 12:30 because I'm rebellios and skipped spirit rally
10.) froliced in the rain
11.) went to cancer box of relaxation and joy
12.) worked out and felt hyper
13.) listened to 99 luftballons some more
14.) went on a bike ride to Tish's house with Megan, thus living up the RENT,
"To riding your bike midday past the three-piece suits"
15.) played basketball and got muddy
16.) showered twice
17.) got accepted to NYU
18.) attempted to skateboard
19.) attempted to scooter
20.) tried to play bball again, but with a deflated ball
21.) hung out with the easter bunny
22.) saw immature movie- and loved it!
23.) attempted to slide down railing, in public, at crocker theatre, in front of all
24.) got mcflurry
25.) DANCED. FOREVER.
I love life!
2.) had a dream I was rich and famous and that life didn't suck
3.) listened to 99 luftballons.... for the 40th straight time in a row
4.) thirty minute classes
5.) froliced in the warmth and sun at lunch
6.) Qdoba put their cactus out- took pictures with it
7.) bought shoes for graduation
8.) talked to flamboyant man at Brugger's
9.) left school at 12:30 because I'm rebellios and skipped spirit rally
10.) froliced in the rain
11.) went to cancer box of relaxation and joy
12.) worked out and felt hyper
13.) listened to 99 luftballons some more
14.) went on a bike ride to Tish's house with Megan, thus living up the RENT,
"To riding your bike midday past the three-piece suits"
15.) played basketball and got muddy
16.) showered twice
17.) got accepted to NYU
18.) attempted to skateboard
19.) attempted to scooter
20.) tried to play bball again, but with a deflated ball
21.) hung out with the easter bunny
22.) saw immature movie- and loved it!
23.) attempted to slide down railing, in public, at crocker theatre, in front of all
24.) got mcflurry
25.) DANCED. FOREVER.
I love life!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Si Creas que Sepas....
No sabes nada.
Como.
¿Cómo? ¿Cómo digas a tus mejores amigas que no quieres sentarte con ellas? ¿Cómo les digas que no quieres pasar unos de los dÃas más importantes de su vida escolar con ellas? ¿Que no quieres estar con la gente que siempre estaban allà por ti durante tu experiencia de escuela? ¿Que cuando estés con ellas, no te sientes asà tú eres…. tú. Porque, eres diferente cuando estás con ellos. Cuando pases tiempo con ellos, te sientes mal. También, ¿cómo digas a ellas que vas a sentarte con sus enemigos. Con las chicas que les gustan menos. Mi vida es… confundida (a mejor), ahora. Y no sé hablar español. Voy a fallar el examen.
Necesito escapar. Necesito encontrar una dirección nueva con mi vida. Necesito… ayudar.
También, necesito escribir un ensayo por clase, no por mi diversión. Español es… difÃcil.
Si puedas leer este…. Dios sálvame.
Como.
¿Cómo? ¿Cómo digas a tus mejores amigas que no quieres sentarte con ellas? ¿Cómo les digas que no quieres pasar unos de los dÃas más importantes de su vida escolar con ellas? ¿Que no quieres estar con la gente que siempre estaban allà por ti durante tu experiencia de escuela? ¿Que cuando estés con ellas, no te sientes asà tú eres…. tú. Porque, eres diferente cuando estás con ellos. Cuando pases tiempo con ellos, te sientes mal. También, ¿cómo digas a ellas que vas a sentarte con sus enemigos. Con las chicas que les gustan menos. Mi vida es… confundida (a mejor), ahora. Y no sé hablar español. Voy a fallar el examen.
Necesito escapar. Necesito encontrar una dirección nueva con mi vida. Necesito… ayudar.
También, necesito escribir un ensayo por clase, no por mi diversión. Español es… difÃcil.
Si puedas leer este…. Dios sálvame.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Look at the Stars...
Last night I attended the Coldplay concert, and I would just like to say it was probably the most amazing show I've ever seen. I am no exactly the biggest Coldplay fan- I like them, but they are rather mellow, and usually I need rockin', upbeat music- but last night was AMAZING. The lights were completely insane, the music was inspiring, and no one can complain about a bunch of Britich men singing... ever. It inspired me in a way I haven't been inspired in in forever. That sentance was the worst jumble of the same five words ever. Yet it makes sense to me, and that's what counts.
Clearly I haven't been inspired much recently... at all. Not since the New Year, really. I haven't been motivated to do anything. I can't tell if it's Senioritis or what, but it's annoying as hell. I feel so slovenly, so useless, in my current state.
And if one more person says the word "prom" to me, I will explode. So please don't. I do not know who I'm taking. I don't even know if I'll go at this point. No, that's a lie, I know I'll go. I just don't want to think about it. Maybe I'll auction my date off on eBay or something. Naw, I'd get some creepy old man to go with me if that happened. Oh, well. C'est la vie. Or however that French shit goes.
(French phrase of the day: est ici- is here)
Clearly I haven't been inspired much recently... at all. Not since the New Year, really. I haven't been motivated to do anything. I can't tell if it's Senioritis or what, but it's annoying as hell. I feel so slovenly, so useless, in my current state.
And if one more person says the word "prom" to me, I will explode. So please don't. I do not know who I'm taking. I don't even know if I'll go at this point. No, that's a lie, I know I'll go. I just don't want to think about it. Maybe I'll auction my date off on eBay or something. Naw, I'd get some creepy old man to go with me if that happened. Oh, well. C'est la vie. Or however that French shit goes.
(French phrase of the day: est ici- is here)
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Delta S
Self-loathing= check
others-loathing=check
complete irritation with life= check
desire to escape from family= check
desire to get away from everything I know= check
I jsut really want to start over.
And oh, yeah, fuck prom.
others-loathing=check
complete irritation with life= check
desire to escape from family= check
desire to get away from everything I know= check
I jsut really want to start over.
And oh, yeah, fuck prom.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Who Cares?
Isn't it sad when people who once ment so much to you are no longer worth the time and effort? Isn't even sadder to know that you wasted a year on them, spent every waking moment with them, and all for nothing because at the end of the day, they never would have done a thing for you? Sad when you know you were brainwashed and controlled and manipulated for their own gain, whatever it was.
Right now I am clearly filled with a pernicious rage that simply makes me want to destroy everything around me. I am so angry at so much. I'm angry at school, because it's just a painful waste of every day of my life, because hell knows I'm not learning jack shit, and it's so painful to sit there every day with the same people I've been surrounded by for four years. I'm angry at those people, most of them for simply existing. I'm mad at certain people, such as Kristen and Katie and Ryan, for consuming my life and being nothing but horrid in return. I cannot believe I once liked those people, once thought them worthwhile, admirable people. I know better now, I know that they are cruel and vicious and manipulative, and that they don't care for anyone but themselves, but it still hurts. Because while I cannot pretend that I am the greatest person ever, they were still something more than just people to spend time with to me. I really cared about them as friends. But they were just horrible bitches in return, only doing what was good for themselves. Because let's face it, that's all that matters to them.
I'm angry at myself, for being duped by them, and for caring so much. But once again, let's be honest- it hurts when people who were once your friends go around being cruel to you. I cannot take being surrounded by girls anymore. They are all so horribly bitch-tastic. I'm mad at myself for trusting people, because honestly I'm begining to think that no one is worth trusting.
Right now I'm just so angry. I've been disillusioned by the human race. No one is worth trusting. No one is worth caring for. Because no one cares about anyone but themselves. The few who do care about someone else, well, I'm aparently not on their list of people to care about. Which is okay, because honestly I am a bad person and I'm not worth caring about. I pretty much cannot wait to drop off the face of the planet. Because god knows, I will miss very feww people, and vice-versa.
Screw the world. Because it will screw you.
And no, I'm not fucking emo. I'm pissed as hell. And I am actually filled with loathing. Hate. Abhorrance. Hate.
Right now I am clearly filled with a pernicious rage that simply makes me want to destroy everything around me. I am so angry at so much. I'm angry at school, because it's just a painful waste of every day of my life, because hell knows I'm not learning jack shit, and it's so painful to sit there every day with the same people I've been surrounded by for four years. I'm angry at those people, most of them for simply existing. I'm mad at certain people, such as Kristen and Katie and Ryan, for consuming my life and being nothing but horrid in return. I cannot believe I once liked those people, once thought them worthwhile, admirable people. I know better now, I know that they are cruel and vicious and manipulative, and that they don't care for anyone but themselves, but it still hurts. Because while I cannot pretend that I am the greatest person ever, they were still something more than just people to spend time with to me. I really cared about them as friends. But they were just horrible bitches in return, only doing what was good for themselves. Because let's face it, that's all that matters to them.
I'm angry at myself, for being duped by them, and for caring so much. But once again, let's be honest- it hurts when people who were once your friends go around being cruel to you. I cannot take being surrounded by girls anymore. They are all so horribly bitch-tastic. I'm mad at myself for trusting people, because honestly I'm begining to think that no one is worth trusting.
Right now I'm just so angry. I've been disillusioned by the human race. No one is worth trusting. No one is worth caring for. Because no one cares about anyone but themselves. The few who do care about someone else, well, I'm aparently not on their list of people to care about. Which is okay, because honestly I am a bad person and I'm not worth caring about. I pretty much cannot wait to drop off the face of the planet. Because god knows, I will miss very feww people, and vice-versa.
Screw the world. Because it will screw you.
And no, I'm not fucking emo. I'm pissed as hell. And I am actually filled with loathing. Hate. Abhorrance. Hate.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Big Shiny Trophy
Clearly I am very excited to be through with the play. I mean it was good, I suppose, but it got very, very old. And I'm glad to be free of it's opression. It was cool though. My last play at Mags. Almost a little sad I suppose. I've moved on, however.
Wrote a Pi Day poem. It is as follows:
A curious friend once questioned of me
“What’s the greatest number you ever did see?”
“Well that’s easy,” I answered with glee
“It’s a real long number that starts with a three”
Circles and spheres and cones- oh, my!
There are so very many uses of pi.
C equals pi times the sum of two radii
I just explained you circumference, I!
And pi times radius to the power of two
That’s the area I’ve just explained to you
Three point one four one five nine two
It’s a useful number if you know what to do
So next time you need to impress someone cool
Or need a good equation to help you in school
Just use this number- all will agree that you rule
If you forget about pi, you’ll be labelled a tool
clearly our school is toolnormous and useless if this constitutes as an assignment. Well, what can you do? It's easy points, I suppose. Plus, I got to use the word 'tool' in an assignment. This makes it sweet.
Colbert report is on. Humourously enough, he predicted correctly (using the DaColbert Code... DaVinci Code... yes...) every major oscar winner. I find this very amusing. Jon Stewart amused me and made the oscars less boring than usual- I'm mad I haven't seen Brokeback mountain, however.
Um, as usual, my creativity is on a minimum.
Wrote a Pi Day poem. It is as follows:
A curious friend once questioned of me
“What’s the greatest number you ever did see?”
“Well that’s easy,” I answered with glee
“It’s a real long number that starts with a three”
Circles and spheres and cones- oh, my!
There are so very many uses of pi.
C equals pi times the sum of two radii
I just explained you circumference, I!
And pi times radius to the power of two
That’s the area I’ve just explained to you
Three point one four one five nine two
It’s a useful number if you know what to do
So next time you need to impress someone cool
Or need a good equation to help you in school
Just use this number- all will agree that you rule
If you forget about pi, you’ll be labelled a tool
clearly our school is toolnormous and useless if this constitutes as an assignment. Well, what can you do? It's easy points, I suppose. Plus, I got to use the word 'tool' in an assignment. This makes it sweet.
Colbert report is on. Humourously enough, he predicted correctly (using the DaColbert Code... DaVinci Code... yes...) every major oscar winner. I find this very amusing. Jon Stewart amused me and made the oscars less boring than usual- I'm mad I haven't seen Brokeback mountain, however.
Um, as usual, my creativity is on a minimum.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Let there be love
I think Stephen Colbert likes wearing his ashes a whole lot. How very catholic of him. I didn't even get ashes. May God smite me where I lay... smiting? smiting? DAMN.
Motocrossed is on! This is so fun! I haven't seen this movie in ages, but it was one of the good ones.
My nails are so pretty I just painted them.
So honestly, I'm tired of learning about eating disorders in Theology. All it really makes me want to do is stop eating. Like it literally makes me want to develop an eating disorder myself. Everytime I look at food I think of all the stupid skinny people in that video and I just can't eat. It's sad really.
On the bright side, the play is going swimmingly. The DJing is clearly spectacular. And I keep having the uncontrolable need to speak in iambic pentameter. And rhyme. And call Katie a skank because honestly, we all know she's cheating on Gabe with Pat. (can you possibly think of an odder phrase?) And dance. And play the techno music too loud. And focus. Oh, wait. That last one is a dirty, dirty lie. Actully I focused today and only fucked up one thing, but you couldn't really tell.
This weekend we shall preform the wonderous work of Shakespeare (R&J). I haven't gotten much sleep all week- and I didn't even write the fucking DBQ last night, so I'm doing it tonight instead. Maybe. I'm so tired I can't even really function. But I must trudge onward.
Sleepy Stef. But onward to the DBQ
Motocrossed is on! This is so fun! I haven't seen this movie in ages, but it was one of the good ones.
My nails are so pretty I just painted them.
So honestly, I'm tired of learning about eating disorders in Theology. All it really makes me want to do is stop eating. Like it literally makes me want to develop an eating disorder myself. Everytime I look at food I think of all the stupid skinny people in that video and I just can't eat. It's sad really.
On the bright side, the play is going swimmingly. The DJing is clearly spectacular. And I keep having the uncontrolable need to speak in iambic pentameter. And rhyme. And call Katie a skank because honestly, we all know she's cheating on Gabe with Pat. (can you possibly think of an odder phrase?) And dance. And play the techno music too loud. And focus. Oh, wait. That last one is a dirty, dirty lie. Actully I focused today and only fucked up one thing, but you couldn't really tell.
This weekend we shall preform the wonderous work of Shakespeare (R&J). I haven't gotten much sleep all week- and I didn't even write the fucking DBQ last night, so I'm doing it tonight instead. Maybe. I'm so tired I can't even really function. But I must trudge onward.
Sleepy Stef. But onward to the DBQ
Thursday, February 16, 2006
What do you know?
Um so basically Jon Stewart is my life and I have been enjoying The Daily Show and The Colbert Report frequently this week.
Currently it is 15 degrees celcius (about 59 ferienheight) outdoors, humid as hell, and it feels like... mid April. Oh, wait. I recall snow last mid-April. Whatever. The point is tomorrow the high is supposed to be 0. Celcius. With a low of -7. So, um. What? Why do the gods of weather hate us?
So the school freaked out on us about myspace earlier this week. Basically because someone... who I swear I don't know...I'm lying... made homepages for Kathy Schrock and Mrs. Perez. So they flipped on us and I decided it would be best to get rid of anything possibly incrimination on myspace.
I'm distracted.
Currently it is 15 degrees celcius (about 59 ferienheight) outdoors, humid as hell, and it feels like... mid April. Oh, wait. I recall snow last mid-April. Whatever. The point is tomorrow the high is supposed to be 0. Celcius. With a low of -7. So, um. What? Why do the gods of weather hate us?
So the school freaked out on us about myspace earlier this week. Basically because someone... who I swear I don't know...I'm lying... made homepages for Kathy Schrock and Mrs. Perez. So they flipped on us and I decided it would be best to get rid of anything possibly incrimination on myspace.
I'm distracted.
Monday, February 13, 2006
If you believe...
Stupid school Cracking down on myspace rules. The following are myspace posts that I'm putting in here for posterity's sake because I didn't wnat to lose this stuff but I felt it could be incriinating.
I have a dream... Current mood: confused
A dream I had:
so first of all, the whole scool had to go to this mass thing, but we were in a weird church. The navy was like... in charge of this mass, only it was weird becuase they all had funny hats. I was sitting in a normal seat, but then I got thirsty so I got up for a bottle of water, and when I came back, I had to walk along this precipice ting- almost like the catwalk, but lower to the ground- that they were processing in on. so all the lights are on them, and I'm just doging past them with my bottle of water and candy cane. I'm going against them so it's real fun anywayso there aren't any normal seats left, so I wind up in this weird section that's like all these wodden planks suspended by wires from the ceiling by each of their four corners. I hop on one with swathi and nina and we're j/chillin because no one in this section is serious. then I see on some of the other planks are a bunch of other people, most notably katie blake and ryan tegso as the mass goes on, these navy guys continue. only the thing is, now they all have these funny wigs. then diane vidgak comes, leading a procession of lost army guys to the altar, past our littl reject section. She sees me watching her and she just like mutters as she goes past "yeah I know, this is perfect, isn't it?" with her little parade of army people, who she is leading liek a generalthen tricia comes and she's FREAKING out because she awnts to apply to some school in st. louis, only the app is due that day and she doesn't htink there's time. I think she wanted visgak to recommend her, but that was vague. So she's freaking out, and diane is like... "my god, relax, if it's your top choice school, why did you wait to apply" and trish really had nothing to say to that. so diane made her calm down but she still freaked out, and i remindedh er the st. louis is an hour behjind us and she still had time, but she wouldn't liten to me, she jsut kept runing around, and diane and I gave up on her. so then diane and trish are gone, and I'm swinging around on the wodden slats with nina and various other people. katie is there with ryan, and I'm blatantly drinking my water. we were all talking but I don't know what about. we couldn't really see the preist or anything becasue all the wires from all the planks bocked our view then there's this kid in the navy by me, and he's the only one not wearing a redunckulous hat, and so I start making fun of all the weird wigs to him and then I say, ""oh you must htink I'm mean" but he is like "no, actually, you're the nicest people we've visited all week"then mass ended and I was decorating this room with this girl from my spanish class... and I really wanted to find these flowers to go with this vase, and I finally do and my vase is stolen then I wake up
see. this is what goes on in my head when I cannot control my thoughts. Now you know the truth about me.
Oh, and isn't the music selection today so GANGSTA?
So True, So True Current mood: thirsty
You know you are a catholic school girl when:
1.You mastered the art of cheating and cramming. [[cramming? yes, cheating, not so much]]
2. one word: Retreat [[yup, kairos... me and half the world]]
3. At one time, you liked your uniform [[I still sort of enjoy the idea of not having to pick out clothes in the morning. I'm lazy.]]
4. You got kicks outta being able to wear you PJs to school [[we would if jodi wouldn't come down on us in a fury]]
5. You had a way of making yourself look so innocent when everyone knows that you really aren't. [[oh yeah, everyone does. ]]
6. It cost you 60 bucks to park in the school parking lot [[actually fifty, but whos' counting ]]
7. Everyone hugs each other to greet people [[yeah, either that or viciously attacks them from behind]]
8. At dances, you formed an all-girls circle where no guys could take over [[it seems that usually the guys end up being in that circle.... well at formals, anyway, not the mixers, when we were itty-bitty froshies]]
9. You're blonde, once were, wish you were, or just act like it. [[I was blonde once. And I'd really prefer not to be reminded]]
10. You violated as many dress codes as possible and when you get caught, you pretended that you 'didnt know' [[heh, I haven't buttoned that skirt in years... and I love wearing our soccer jackets]]
11. You have countless obsessions with guys you have never even met or never talked to [[no, but I do know of many guys that I've never talked to, and then I meet them, and I'm like "you're so-and-so's ex" and then it's awkward]]
12. You have NO problem joking around about being a lesbian [[hahaha only with caitlin, cuz we're queer like that. But I prefer the sausage to the taco. Don't worry, I'm quoting a movie and I would never say that in real life]]
13. You spent many a religion class listening to your teacher preach about the Church's take on premarital sex, abortion, and the death penalty [[well we don't get preached to, I had Clark, and generally we jsut discussed... or Gretchen and I defended the liberal views on everything...]]
14. You SERIOUSLY don't know how to shut up [[hahaha stop talking? never!!]]
15. "Remember whens" are your specialty [[yeah lots of bernie's memories with liz and chelso]]16. At least one of your friends names are Jessica, Ashley, Sarah, Katie, Megan, or Lauren [[There are actually not that many jessicas or ashleys, and I know many laurens, but none really at our school. However, Sarah, Katie, and Megan are in abundance. Especially Katies]]
17. your skirts stopped fitting, but were too cheap/lazy to buy new ones, so you just pinned them. [[actually no, I bought new ones that are wayy to big, but I like it]]
18. shaving your legs was optional, even when wearing skirts. actually, putting any effort into your appearance was optional.[[Okay, you know what? I shaveo ne the weekends... but what's the point if I'm going to be at school?]]
19. whenever guys came on campus, the entire school knew their names, cars they were driving, which school they were from and eye color within minutes. [[radar, radar..... not to mention we can smell axe from 100 yards]]
20. The guys just get passed around! [[yeah, it's pretty shady and usualyl the cause of any drama there is]]
21. EveryONE knows about everyone elses business!..even if u've never talked to them!!! [[ohhh yeah, I think I'm a prime example of that...]]
caitlin.
STOP! Pajama time! Current mood: chipper
Currently I am working on a dance recital at Mags (hoorah! I'm finally getting paid to go to school). It's a horrible, horrible drag (I'm getting paid though!) but there are a few good tunes to hear. One includes the timeless classic, Thriller. Ah, it is so fun to be in the back moonwalking for that. Especially when awesome people like Kristen are willing to spend time up there with me. Then there's some awesome hipity-hop songs, like tilt ya head back/ bombs over bahgdad (they are like connected- it's pretty sweet) and make me lose my breath. It's all quite fun to watch Caitlin break out her hip-hop moves at these times. So, while it's mostly pretty boring, at least a) I'm getting paid, and b) I get to have personal dance parties.
In other news, Kristen and I have started a pretty sweet summer project. Yesterday we worked on it for about half an hour, then stole some stuff for further work. I have decided taht Kristen and I are like the worst peole ever, between our stealing and plotting and profit-making schemes. But that's okay. Some people still like us anyway. I think. Am I mislead in this assesment? Oh, dear.
Well I have to go back to Mags in like two hours. Ew.
On the bright side, it looks like there's a trip to Cedar Point in the near future. And I get my hair did on Tuesday and Wednesday I have my senior pictures. Ew shit. I just realised. Next week I have that horrible conditioning camp. Oh god. Chop chop snappy snappy. Oh god.
I am an emotional fuckwit. (love that phrase)
Okay. Well. Bye!
That IS a huge sausage! Current mood: energetic
That title would be in reference to the large, fake, sausage we saw at Flower Child today. It was pretty strange. Who just has a fake sausage decorating their ktichen or whatever? And a huge one at that. The sexual connotation in that is completely rediculus.
Ah, and in lighter (?) news, I AM FREE FROM THE HELL WE CALL SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! Ack, I'm so excited. So happy and excited, come to think of it, that I am procrastinating on my summer darkness, because I don't want to destroy my good mood. Maybe I'll jsut wait until I'm in a super black mood, then do what it is I've got to do, and then I will be in like SUPER DUPER black mood, and will come out of it all at once. Things might be better that way.
Ah, I'm excited for the summer, and all the fun, late crazy nights you can have during it! Raise your hand if you are excited, as well!
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I want to go to the beach.
I GET MY PHONE BACK TOMORROW! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Leave me summer lovin'! Or ideas of plans, and if anyone ever wants to do something, I'm usually around, because I'm a tool. With no friends. Well, few friends. Well, few single friends that aren't too busy with their boy/girlfriends, anyway.
AH! Smiles!!!!!!!!!!!
It's Not What You Say... Current mood: drained
Today was adecent fay until I went to track and was reminded that I have no talent for anything in this world, and that there is nothing for which I shine out for. I'm pretty medicore at everything. Now, admittedly, I'd rather admit to being medicore and get on with life than try to glorify myself into somthing I'm not, but it is none-the-less saddening to know that I stand out in no way from amongst the people I know. There's nothing to make me special- I haven't got something (or someone, I suppose) to completely dedicate myself to, as do many people. I just don't know what to do with myself.One of the scariest things ever happened today. I started laughing. For no reason really. I just started, and then I couldn't stop. There was literally NO reason to be cracking up like I was, but I just kept going, even when I told myself to stop. When I was done, I almost curled into a ball and cried. That's all I wanted to do right theno nce the laughing was over- to cry a thousand times more than I laughed. But I sucked it up and pretended to do my Ab workout.So if anyone sees me twitching for the remainder of the week, I recommend... backing away slowly?Yeah. That's probably your best option.
I'm so far gone now Current mood: pissed off
I am no longer on the brink of tears. I was, for a bit, but now, anger and revenge have wroght themselves upon me, and thus I am out for vengance. My day was a downhill fall, but I want to try to adhere to my twelve step program. Thus, I will find the things wrong with my life, and find the good in them.
1) got back like five million (or two) f's in precalc, and am terribly pissed at self--- but on the bright side, I didn't actually lose that many points, and since I have been keeping up with the work that's going on right now, I may be able to compensate a bit for that.
2) am in pain because I missed practice for a week, then went back yesterday and did wayyy too much lifting.---however, the pain will subside soon enough, and I will be stronger for it
3) did really shitty at practice---thinking about it, it's really because of the pain. I just have to keep working.
4) had to go to wake for colleen, which wouldn't have been bad at all if not for presance of the most annoying, disgusting creature on this earth. possibly second to jeanne---realize that no one can really stand htis creature, besides possibly the bitch queen who shall remain anonymous, and thus come out winner. Also didn't wear mother's heinous old suit, like creature, but rather cute blazer from Gap.
5) went to malley's, where I learned I have to work a bunch of days, including ST PATRICKS DAY from 1-7.---realised that I will be forcing each and every one of my friends to come visit me, so they can fucking shove it
6) at malley's, learned that jeanne is trying to get me fired---came to enlightenment that a) I do more work than anyone else at malley's, and if they fire me, not only will they regret it, but I will hove tonnes more free time and b) I have a plan to get jeanne fired.
7) thought about it, and realised I am a vengeful, hateful person, ergo, the reason for why I tread through life, desolate and alone.---nooope, not really coming up with anything for that one.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
shit, tremours.
The Sun Sets With the Truth on its Back Current mood: confused
eck. Myspace is in cali time, a time I don't run on very well. This means it is actually what? 2:41 am? Geez, I am a loser.Things I learned today:
You can drive on Superior, Detroit, Clifton, and Lake all by driving in a straight line
It is not a good idea to put your wet arm on an antique desk you made your mom let you have in your room
Sometimes you don't want to be on the inside of a joke
Buffalo contain smallpox
Three Gallons is enough when your life is threatened
I look very pasty in my picture
How to get around downtown Cleveland
Junior dance isn't worth the headache (just like sophomore dance wasn't)
that is all.go to my bloge, btw
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
The World Wide Webster Current mood: geeky
The dictionary is awesome. It teaches you how to talk. Talking pisses people off. Pissing people off makes you feel fuzzy inside.I do not know jack shit about government. Thank you.Guess what life is like without internet? Bad. So very bad.Tomorrow I shall go to New York and sap stupid New Yorkians into thinking I am British.British people kick ass.I am not british, so I suck.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Three Doors Down Current mood: crushed
Well, today was busy, semi-exciting, and excruciatingly exhausting. First of all, AP bio. Yeah, that was four hours of bubble-filling fun! Nothing says "I'm having a blast" like filling out ovals until your eyes bleed and your hand whithers away. After this I eventually proceeded to swimming with steg, after making her some baked apples, which were pretty good, but I was too lazy to cook them the whole way, so they were a little crunchy. (as if anyone cares about my culinary pursuits) After this I returned home and layed out once again (did I mention I did that yesterday and that now my appearance rivals that of a tomato?) and read "Teen Idol" which was excellent, sort of predicatable, as meg cabot books have now become, but there were elements of the plot that kept me.... twistedly amused, shall we say. I guess. That sounds different than how I actually meant it. But whatever.Then I ended up babysitting for this girl in Caitlin Anne's stead. She was all nice and such. It involved wayyyyyyy too much physical activity, none of which I am supposed to do, owing to the fact that I am broken. I ran around a block, full speed, chasing four girls on bikes. In my precious adidas sandals (which never fail me) Yeah.... I'm wayyyy out of shape. But it was cool. Then we invented obstacle courses for each other. Also okay, but more physcial activity than I really needed. So all in all I had a workout today, mentally and physically. I'm pooped, as some might say.You know what sucks? Irony, THATS WHAT SUCKS. Like when you by chance get seated next to a friend of yours at the SATs, but then, noooo she's not taking the SAT Is and they put her in the wrong room, and they send someone to replace her, and it's someone you know! But oh, wait, it's one of the two people in the world you loathe. Sweet Stef. You suck.There are a lot of otherthings in this world that make me unhappy, as well. :-(Well, I just thought I'd drop another myspace line. Leavecomments, bitches.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
May Day Current mood: mellow
Today we all dressed in white gowns and danced about and twirled ribbons on a maypole. It was exciting. Then I saw Angel from a far, and I was mad he didn't dance with me, so I went off and fucked Alec D'urberville but my baby died, so I married Angel, but he divorced me becasue I was "seduced in my sleep" and then I went psycho and killed alec. I was hung. The. End.Okay. That did not happen. Well it did in that stupid book we read for doc wilson, but in reality nice, calm, quiet people do not go psycho and kill their lovers. It just doesn't happen. And sorry, Doctor Wilson IT WAS FRIKIN RAPE. One cannot be seduced in their sleep. Though, as Lyla once pointed out, his wife probably could.Ouch.Um, anyway. My may day was celebrated by forcing teenage boys to run around the block several times then measuring their blood pressure and pulse. Intermittent rain and complaining subjects made this difficult, not to mention technical difficulties on the machine were screwing up the data. But no one really cares about bio. So anyway.There was also work tonight. That hurt. Right here. ::points to black void where heart belongs::And I missed Family Guy. Come on. OuchNow back to school. If I ever write my spanish composition.No one cares about any of this stuff, I'm just rambling.I wish, for the benefit of you readers, that my life was fun and exciting and I had witty and amusing anicdotes for you all. (and perhaps that I could spell?) But I don't. (and I can't)I did build Ryan a nice suck-up cake for accidentaly ditching him on Friday. Even though I didn't. I really didn't.Okay I am done. I concede. You win world.
(comment from molly-->
Man, at first I really thought you went Maypoling. What an image. I did that one year in my front yard, because I longed to live in the Victorian Age.)
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Watch the fire as it slowly burns away Current mood: anxious
Let's make a quick list here:
Things that have sucked this week:
*while I did make money on my plan, it all seemed to immediately disappear and I have none left
*I ate wayy too much, every day but yesterday
*I had to work tonight, and it was a marylin day, and it sucked
*I got hit on by weird bandos (sorry tricia, it's not a good thing in my mind)
*I ripped my malley's skirt
*I will have to write fifty notecards tomorrow night at probably like 12
*I have a huge aching bruise on my knee from running into joe at top speed
*I have a strange bruise on my hand that has a puncture in the middle of it, so I am pretty sure that someone is coming into my room at night and intreveinously feeding me poison, which is slowly killing me and
*the reason I am always and still sick
*I have about an hour tomorrow to get to cleveland public livrary and back before track
*I spent all day monday iether doing homework or getting made fun of
*I tripped over a ladder today and fell and it hurt, even if it was really funny
*I have to re-do a whole bio lab that I lost because I am an inefficient waste of human life
*I can't find a picture of chromosome 21 that makes any
senseThat's all that comes to mind for now.
Oddly enough, I'm not in that bad of a mood, I just cannot wait for the week to reach its conclusion.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Yays and Boos Current mood: contemplative
Yay for
......friends who will beat up people who lower your self esteem
...junior dance, which is FIVE days hence
...understanding how to do precalc
...doing your summer reading on january 24th
...shotput
...finding out that your track coach is nice, even if she does resemble jeanne
...conforming
...coffee
...moms that bake cookies
...randomness
boo for
......people who make your self esteem suck
...people who bother you about irrelevant things
...not understanding why to bother doing precalc
...having to do summer reading at all
...bad backs and creepy chiropractors
...having a prejudice against anyone who looks like your satanic manager jeanne
...non-conformists who ruin things
...fatness
...cookies that give you fatness
...people who try to ruin your happiness
::shrug:: take the good with the bad, I guess
Ifixed some of them up, but for the most part, they are still a mess. It doesn't matter that much, I jsut wanted to keep them. More about why later.
I have a dream... Current mood: confused
A dream I had:
so first of all, the whole scool had to go to this mass thing, but we were in a weird church. The navy was like... in charge of this mass, only it was weird becuase they all had funny hats. I was sitting in a normal seat, but then I got thirsty so I got up for a bottle of water, and when I came back, I had to walk along this precipice ting- almost like the catwalk, but lower to the ground- that they were processing in on. so all the lights are on them, and I'm just doging past them with my bottle of water and candy cane. I'm going against them so it's real fun anywayso there aren't any normal seats left, so I wind up in this weird section that's like all these wodden planks suspended by wires from the ceiling by each of their four corners. I hop on one with swathi and nina and we're j/chillin because no one in this section is serious. then I see on some of the other planks are a bunch of other people, most notably katie blake and ryan tegso as the mass goes on, these navy guys continue. only the thing is, now they all have these funny wigs. then diane vidgak comes, leading a procession of lost army guys to the altar, past our littl reject section. She sees me watching her and she just like mutters as she goes past "yeah I know, this is perfect, isn't it?" with her little parade of army people, who she is leading liek a generalthen tricia comes and she's FREAKING out because she awnts to apply to some school in st. louis, only the app is due that day and she doesn't htink there's time. I think she wanted visgak to recommend her, but that was vague. So she's freaking out, and diane is like... "my god, relax, if it's your top choice school, why did you wait to apply" and trish really had nothing to say to that. so diane made her calm down but she still freaked out, and i remindedh er the st. louis is an hour behjind us and she still had time, but she wouldn't liten to me, she jsut kept runing around, and diane and I gave up on her. so then diane and trish are gone, and I'm swinging around on the wodden slats with nina and various other people. katie is there with ryan, and I'm blatantly drinking my water. we were all talking but I don't know what about. we couldn't really see the preist or anything becasue all the wires from all the planks bocked our view then there's this kid in the navy by me, and he's the only one not wearing a redunckulous hat, and so I start making fun of all the weird wigs to him and then I say, ""oh you must htink I'm mean" but he is like "no, actually, you're the nicest people we've visited all week"then mass ended and I was decorating this room with this girl from my spanish class... and I really wanted to find these flowers to go with this vase, and I finally do and my vase is stolen then I wake up
see. this is what goes on in my head when I cannot control my thoughts. Now you know the truth about me.
Oh, and isn't the music selection today so GANGSTA?
So True, So True Current mood: thirsty
You know you are a catholic school girl when:
1.You mastered the art of cheating and cramming. [[cramming? yes, cheating, not so much]]
2. one word: Retreat [[yup, kairos... me and half the world]]
3. At one time, you liked your uniform [[I still sort of enjoy the idea of not having to pick out clothes in the morning. I'm lazy.]]
4. You got kicks outta being able to wear you PJs to school [[we would if jodi wouldn't come down on us in a fury]]
5. You had a way of making yourself look so innocent when everyone knows that you really aren't. [[oh yeah, everyone does. ]]
6. It cost you 60 bucks to park in the school parking lot [[actually fifty, but whos' counting ]]
7. Everyone hugs each other to greet people [[yeah, either that or viciously attacks them from behind]]
8. At dances, you formed an all-girls circle where no guys could take over [[it seems that usually the guys end up being in that circle.... well at formals, anyway, not the mixers, when we were itty-bitty froshies]]
9. You're blonde, once were, wish you were, or just act like it. [[I was blonde once. And I'd really prefer not to be reminded]]
10. You violated as many dress codes as possible and when you get caught, you pretended that you 'didnt know' [[heh, I haven't buttoned that skirt in years... and I love wearing our soccer jackets]]
11. You have countless obsessions with guys you have never even met or never talked to [[no, but I do know of many guys that I've never talked to, and then I meet them, and I'm like "you're so-and-so's ex" and then it's awkward]]
12. You have NO problem joking around about being a lesbian [[hahaha only with caitlin, cuz we're queer like that. But I prefer the sausage to the taco. Don't worry, I'm quoting a movie and I would never say that in real life]]
13. You spent many a religion class listening to your teacher preach about the Church's take on premarital sex, abortion, and the death penalty [[well we don't get preached to, I had Clark, and generally we jsut discussed... or Gretchen and I defended the liberal views on everything...]]
14. You SERIOUSLY don't know how to shut up [[hahaha stop talking? never!!]]
15. "Remember whens" are your specialty [[yeah lots of bernie's memories with liz and chelso]]16. At least one of your friends names are Jessica, Ashley, Sarah, Katie, Megan, or Lauren [[There are actually not that many jessicas or ashleys, and I know many laurens, but none really at our school. However, Sarah, Katie, and Megan are in abundance. Especially Katies]]
17. your skirts stopped fitting, but were too cheap/lazy to buy new ones, so you just pinned them. [[actually no, I bought new ones that are wayy to big, but I like it]]
18. shaving your legs was optional, even when wearing skirts. actually, putting any effort into your appearance was optional.[[Okay, you know what? I shaveo ne the weekends... but what's the point if I'm going to be at school?]]
19. whenever guys came on campus, the entire school knew their names, cars they were driving, which school they were from and eye color within minutes. [[radar, radar..... not to mention we can smell axe from 100 yards]]
20. The guys just get passed around! [[yeah, it's pretty shady and usualyl the cause of any drama there is]]
21. EveryONE knows about everyone elses business!..even if u've never talked to them!!! [[ohhh yeah, I think I'm a prime example of that...]]
caitlin.
STOP! Pajama time! Current mood: chipper
Currently I am working on a dance recital at Mags (hoorah! I'm finally getting paid to go to school). It's a horrible, horrible drag (I'm getting paid though!) but there are a few good tunes to hear. One includes the timeless classic, Thriller. Ah, it is so fun to be in the back moonwalking for that. Especially when awesome people like Kristen are willing to spend time up there with me. Then there's some awesome hipity-hop songs, like tilt ya head back/ bombs over bahgdad (they are like connected- it's pretty sweet) and make me lose my breath. It's all quite fun to watch Caitlin break out her hip-hop moves at these times. So, while it's mostly pretty boring, at least a) I'm getting paid, and b) I get to have personal dance parties.
In other news, Kristen and I have started a pretty sweet summer project. Yesterday we worked on it for about half an hour, then stole some stuff for further work. I have decided taht Kristen and I are like the worst peole ever, between our stealing and plotting and profit-making schemes. But that's okay. Some people still like us anyway. I think. Am I mislead in this assesment? Oh, dear.
Well I have to go back to Mags in like two hours. Ew.
On the bright side, it looks like there's a trip to Cedar Point in the near future. And I get my hair did on Tuesday and Wednesday I have my senior pictures. Ew shit. I just realised. Next week I have that horrible conditioning camp. Oh god. Chop chop snappy snappy. Oh god.
I am an emotional fuckwit. (love that phrase)
Okay. Well. Bye!
That IS a huge sausage! Current mood: energetic
That title would be in reference to the large, fake, sausage we saw at Flower Child today. It was pretty strange. Who just has a fake sausage decorating their ktichen or whatever? And a huge one at that. The sexual connotation in that is completely rediculus.
Ah, and in lighter (?) news, I AM FREE FROM THE HELL WE CALL SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! Ack, I'm so excited. So happy and excited, come to think of it, that I am procrastinating on my summer darkness, because I don't want to destroy my good mood. Maybe I'll jsut wait until I'm in a super black mood, then do what it is I've got to do, and then I will be in like SUPER DUPER black mood, and will come out of it all at once. Things might be better that way.
Ah, I'm excited for the summer, and all the fun, late crazy nights you can have during it! Raise your hand if you are excited, as well!
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I want to go to the beach.
I GET MY PHONE BACK TOMORROW! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Leave me summer lovin'! Or ideas of plans, and if anyone ever wants to do something, I'm usually around, because I'm a tool. With no friends. Well, few friends. Well, few single friends that aren't too busy with their boy/girlfriends, anyway.
AH! Smiles!!!!!!!!!!!
It's Not What You Say... Current mood: drained
Today was adecent fay until I went to track and was reminded that I have no talent for anything in this world, and that there is nothing for which I shine out for. I'm pretty medicore at everything. Now, admittedly, I'd rather admit to being medicore and get on with life than try to glorify myself into somthing I'm not, but it is none-the-less saddening to know that I stand out in no way from amongst the people I know. There's nothing to make me special- I haven't got something (or someone, I suppose) to completely dedicate myself to, as do many people. I just don't know what to do with myself.One of the scariest things ever happened today. I started laughing. For no reason really. I just started, and then I couldn't stop. There was literally NO reason to be cracking up like I was, but I just kept going, even when I told myself to stop. When I was done, I almost curled into a ball and cried. That's all I wanted to do right theno nce the laughing was over- to cry a thousand times more than I laughed. But I sucked it up and pretended to do my Ab workout.So if anyone sees me twitching for the remainder of the week, I recommend... backing away slowly?Yeah. That's probably your best option.
I'm so far gone now Current mood: pissed off
I am no longer on the brink of tears. I was, for a bit, but now, anger and revenge have wroght themselves upon me, and thus I am out for vengance. My day was a downhill fall, but I want to try to adhere to my twelve step program. Thus, I will find the things wrong with my life, and find the good in them.
1) got back like five million (or two) f's in precalc, and am terribly pissed at self--- but on the bright side, I didn't actually lose that many points, and since I have been keeping up with the work that's going on right now, I may be able to compensate a bit for that.
2) am in pain because I missed practice for a week, then went back yesterday and did wayyy too much lifting.---however, the pain will subside soon enough, and I will be stronger for it
3) did really shitty at practice---thinking about it, it's really because of the pain. I just have to keep working.
4) had to go to wake for colleen, which wouldn't have been bad at all if not for presance of the most annoying, disgusting creature on this earth. possibly second to jeanne---realize that no one can really stand htis creature, besides possibly the bitch queen who shall remain anonymous, and thus come out winner. Also didn't wear mother's heinous old suit, like creature, but rather cute blazer from Gap.
5) went to malley's, where I learned I have to work a bunch of days, including ST PATRICKS DAY from 1-7.---realised that I will be forcing each and every one of my friends to come visit me, so they can fucking shove it
6) at malley's, learned that jeanne is trying to get me fired---came to enlightenment that a) I do more work than anyone else at malley's, and if they fire me, not only will they regret it, but I will hove tonnes more free time and b) I have a plan to get jeanne fired.
7) thought about it, and realised I am a vengeful, hateful person, ergo, the reason for why I tread through life, desolate and alone.---nooope, not really coming up with anything for that one.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
shit, tremours.
The Sun Sets With the Truth on its Back Current mood: confused
eck. Myspace is in cali time, a time I don't run on very well. This means it is actually what? 2:41 am? Geez, I am a loser.Things I learned today:
You can drive on Superior, Detroit, Clifton, and Lake all by driving in a straight line
It is not a good idea to put your wet arm on an antique desk you made your mom let you have in your room
Sometimes you don't want to be on the inside of a joke
Buffalo contain smallpox
Three Gallons is enough when your life is threatened
I look very pasty in my picture
How to get around downtown Cleveland
Junior dance isn't worth the headache (just like sophomore dance wasn't)
that is all.go to my bloge, btw
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
The World Wide Webster Current mood: geeky
The dictionary is awesome. It teaches you how to talk. Talking pisses people off. Pissing people off makes you feel fuzzy inside.I do not know jack shit about government. Thank you.Guess what life is like without internet? Bad. So very bad.Tomorrow I shall go to New York and sap stupid New Yorkians into thinking I am British.British people kick ass.I am not british, so I suck.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Three Doors Down Current mood: crushed
Well, today was busy, semi-exciting, and excruciatingly exhausting. First of all, AP bio. Yeah, that was four hours of bubble-filling fun! Nothing says "I'm having a blast" like filling out ovals until your eyes bleed and your hand whithers away. After this I eventually proceeded to swimming with steg, after making her some baked apples, which were pretty good, but I was too lazy to cook them the whole way, so they were a little crunchy. (as if anyone cares about my culinary pursuits) After this I returned home and layed out once again (did I mention I did that yesterday and that now my appearance rivals that of a tomato?) and read "Teen Idol" which was excellent, sort of predicatable, as meg cabot books have now become, but there were elements of the plot that kept me.... twistedly amused, shall we say. I guess. That sounds different than how I actually meant it. But whatever.Then I ended up babysitting for this girl in Caitlin Anne's stead. She was all nice and such. It involved wayyyyyyy too much physical activity, none of which I am supposed to do, owing to the fact that I am broken. I ran around a block, full speed, chasing four girls on bikes. In my precious adidas sandals (which never fail me) Yeah.... I'm wayyyy out of shape. But it was cool. Then we invented obstacle courses for each other. Also okay, but more physcial activity than I really needed. So all in all I had a workout today, mentally and physically. I'm pooped, as some might say.You know what sucks? Irony, THATS WHAT SUCKS. Like when you by chance get seated next to a friend of yours at the SATs, but then, noooo she's not taking the SAT Is and they put her in the wrong room, and they send someone to replace her, and it's someone you know! But oh, wait, it's one of the two people in the world you loathe. Sweet Stef. You suck.There are a lot of otherthings in this world that make me unhappy, as well. :-(Well, I just thought I'd drop another myspace line. Leavecomments, bitches.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
May Day Current mood: mellow
Today we all dressed in white gowns and danced about and twirled ribbons on a maypole. It was exciting. Then I saw Angel from a far, and I was mad he didn't dance with me, so I went off and fucked Alec D'urberville but my baby died, so I married Angel, but he divorced me becasue I was "seduced in my sleep" and then I went psycho and killed alec. I was hung. The. End.Okay. That did not happen. Well it did in that stupid book we read for doc wilson, but in reality nice, calm, quiet people do not go psycho and kill their lovers. It just doesn't happen. And sorry, Doctor Wilson IT WAS FRIKIN RAPE. One cannot be seduced in their sleep. Though, as Lyla once pointed out, his wife probably could.Ouch.Um, anyway. My may day was celebrated by forcing teenage boys to run around the block several times then measuring their blood pressure and pulse. Intermittent rain and complaining subjects made this difficult, not to mention technical difficulties on the machine were screwing up the data. But no one really cares about bio. So anyway.There was also work tonight. That hurt. Right here. ::points to black void where heart belongs::And I missed Family Guy. Come on. OuchNow back to school. If I ever write my spanish composition.No one cares about any of this stuff, I'm just rambling.I wish, for the benefit of you readers, that my life was fun and exciting and I had witty and amusing anicdotes for you all. (and perhaps that I could spell?) But I don't. (and I can't)I did build Ryan a nice suck-up cake for accidentaly ditching him on Friday. Even though I didn't. I really didn't.Okay I am done. I concede. You win world.
(comment from molly-->
Man, at first I really thought you went Maypoling. What an image. I did that one year in my front yard, because I longed to live in the Victorian Age.)
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Watch the fire as it slowly burns away Current mood: anxious
Let's make a quick list here:
Things that have sucked this week:
*while I did make money on my plan, it all seemed to immediately disappear and I have none left
*I ate wayy too much, every day but yesterday
*I had to work tonight, and it was a marylin day, and it sucked
*I got hit on by weird bandos (sorry tricia, it's not a good thing in my mind)
*I ripped my malley's skirt
*I will have to write fifty notecards tomorrow night at probably like 12
*I have a huge aching bruise on my knee from running into joe at top speed
*I have a strange bruise on my hand that has a puncture in the middle of it, so I am pretty sure that someone is coming into my room at night and intreveinously feeding me poison, which is slowly killing me and
*the reason I am always and still sick
*I have about an hour tomorrow to get to cleveland public livrary and back before track
*I spent all day monday iether doing homework or getting made fun of
*I tripped over a ladder today and fell and it hurt, even if it was really funny
*I have to re-do a whole bio lab that I lost because I am an inefficient waste of human life
*I can't find a picture of chromosome 21 that makes any
senseThat's all that comes to mind for now.
Oddly enough, I'm not in that bad of a mood, I just cannot wait for the week to reach its conclusion.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Yays and Boos Current mood: contemplative
Yay for
......friends who will beat up people who lower your self esteem
...junior dance, which is FIVE days hence
...understanding how to do precalc
...doing your summer reading on january 24th
...shotput
...finding out that your track coach is nice, even if she does resemble jeanne
...conforming
...coffee
...moms that bake cookies
...randomness
boo for
......people who make your self esteem suck
...people who bother you about irrelevant things
...not understanding why to bother doing precalc
...having to do summer reading at all
...bad backs and creepy chiropractors
...having a prejudice against anyone who looks like your satanic manager jeanne
...non-conformists who ruin things
...fatness
...cookies that give you fatness
...people who try to ruin your happiness
::shrug:: take the good with the bad, I guess
Ifixed some of them up, but for the most part, they are still a mess. It doesn't matter that much, I jsut wanted to keep them. More about why later.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
But It's Time to Face the Truth
So I really am not a fan of that James Blunt guy. I mean, he's alright, but I think it's a bit unnatural for a guy to sing about two octaves higher than most girls. And his video creeps me out a little bit.
I want a hybrid car right now.
The days are ever counting down to the holiday from hell. Things are getting pinker, and cuddlier, and all-in-all more painful. And if I see one more commercial for it...
I will die. Anyway.
I just realized next week we have off on Monday. That's so exciting to me. I love George Washington. Thank you, George, for being born in February.
I was going to go to Legacy today to have them fix my iPod (again) because it's skipping (again). But I think I should probably hit up downtown library and do some history research. Because nothing says 'fun' like studying The New Deal on your weekend.
Beyonce Knowles and Steve Martin just do not make a good couple. I'm sorry. It's unnatural.
Um, obviously I'm just sort of rambling. I don't really know what else to say... besides that I wish the 'h' key was working.
I want a hybrid car right now.
The days are ever counting down to the holiday from hell. Things are getting pinker, and cuddlier, and all-in-all more painful. And if I see one more commercial for it...
I will die. Anyway.
I just realized next week we have off on Monday. That's so exciting to me. I love George Washington. Thank you, George, for being born in February.
I was going to go to Legacy today to have them fix my iPod (again) because it's skipping (again). But I think I should probably hit up downtown library and do some history research. Because nothing says 'fun' like studying The New Deal on your weekend.
Beyonce Knowles and Steve Martin just do not make a good couple. I'm sorry. It's unnatural.
Um, obviously I'm just sort of rambling. I don't really know what else to say... besides that I wish the 'h' key was working.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Pigs with Lipstick
That happens to be the name of some book this person wrote. Okay it is more like lipstick on a pig but I like my way better.
So of course Eileen, bitch of bitches and the horridest of horrid soccer coaches, leaves the programme today. On a day that doesn't affect me at all. Ever. Because I have already signed my soul over to her for four years, and there's no possibility of ever having experienced a good, supportive, not painful soccer programme at Mags. What a damned shame.
Valentine's day is coming up. I hate Valentine's day. Honestly. Fron the stupid flowers in homeroom (that I never get) to the colours pink and red everywhere (because it's not the cute pink, it's that ugly, useless pink). Yeah, fuck it. As if February isn't painful enough- now we have to be tortured by couples being extra-couply. My God, people are obnoxious enough on an everyday basis. They don't need an entire day dedicated to their obnoixiousness.
That's the thing that bugs me about a whole bunch of couples. Okay, that's an exageration, but there are a few. Like, okay, here. I know that you guys are in love and that you're going to grow up and get married and never get divorced and live happily-ever-after (sarcasm) but puh-lease. It doesn't kill you to acknowledge other people. Because, yes, there are other people on the planet. There is no need to spend every, single, waking moment with someone. It will only make you hate them more when it's over. And yes, guys, you're in high school, and chances are, it will be over. Eventually.
Today we discussed the pragmatic movement in history. It was a very good movement. I liked it and have obviously been a bit inspired by it.
I like the new pink razr, even if it is for Valentine's Day. It's cute. But I hate Cingular, so booo.
Today was Diane's Brithday! Snaps for Trish for remembering and looking that up. We sang to her and whatnot, and learned that it was something of a miracle that she's still alive. (And thank god she is because otherwise, who knows who we would have for APUSH. It wouldn't be as fun, I am sure) She has had Scarlet Fever, been in two car accidents, survived two tornadoes, and been locked in an icebox. Like seirously. Whoa.
Haha I'm watching the colbert report, which is sooo funny, even though I was never into the Colbert reports on Jon Stewart. And he made a joke about them having well-stocked flag stores. Can't you jsut picture all those middle eastern terrorists having flag stores, with all the flags lined up and you go and the guy asks you, "what country do you hate today?" And they resond, "America/Denmark/the former U.S.S.R." and they get a flag for that country. Okay maybe that's only funny to me.
That's enough.
So of course Eileen, bitch of bitches and the horridest of horrid soccer coaches, leaves the programme today. On a day that doesn't affect me at all. Ever. Because I have already signed my soul over to her for four years, and there's no possibility of ever having experienced a good, supportive, not painful soccer programme at Mags. What a damned shame.
Valentine's day is coming up. I hate Valentine's day. Honestly. Fron the stupid flowers in homeroom (that I never get) to the colours pink and red everywhere (because it's not the cute pink, it's that ugly, useless pink). Yeah, fuck it. As if February isn't painful enough- now we have to be tortured by couples being extra-couply. My God, people are obnoxious enough on an everyday basis. They don't need an entire day dedicated to their obnoixiousness.
That's the thing that bugs me about a whole bunch of couples. Okay, that's an exageration, but there are a few. Like, okay, here. I know that you guys are in love and that you're going to grow up and get married and never get divorced and live happily-ever-after (sarcasm) but puh-lease. It doesn't kill you to acknowledge other people. Because, yes, there are other people on the planet. There is no need to spend every, single, waking moment with someone. It will only make you hate them more when it's over. And yes, guys, you're in high school, and chances are, it will be over. Eventually.
Today we discussed the pragmatic movement in history. It was a very good movement. I liked it and have obviously been a bit inspired by it.
I like the new pink razr, even if it is for Valentine's Day. It's cute. But I hate Cingular, so booo.
Today was Diane's Brithday! Snaps for Trish for remembering and looking that up. We sang to her and whatnot, and learned that it was something of a miracle that she's still alive. (And thank god she is because otherwise, who knows who we would have for APUSH. It wouldn't be as fun, I am sure) She has had Scarlet Fever, been in two car accidents, survived two tornadoes, and been locked in an icebox. Like seirously. Whoa.
Haha I'm watching the colbert report, which is sooo funny, even though I was never into the Colbert reports on Jon Stewart. And he made a joke about them having well-stocked flag stores. Can't you jsut picture all those middle eastern terrorists having flag stores, with all the flags lined up and you go and the guy asks you, "what country do you hate today?" And they resond, "America/Denmark/the former U.S.S.R." and they get a flag for that country. Okay maybe that's only funny to me.
That's enough.