And here we are. Another New Year to welcome in. Ahead of us are three hundred and sixty-five days. What will we do with these days? We do not know. They hold untold promise, unknown wonder. They are there, waiting for us to make the most of them. Many of them we won't. But there are those we will make spectacular. Whether it is one of those 365 days or all of them, it's our duty to make the most of all five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes.
Right now my liver happens to be pretty upset with me. Come to think of it, I'm pretty upset with me. But Sean helped me be less upset with me. He's a good man, that Sean.
So basically I welcomed this New Year with cheers and tears. Tears from my fears. Fears I'd ultimately like to come over, but it's not looking that likely. Depressing, I know. But yet realistic. You can't just get over a major personality flaw (in my case, manic-depression) by saying you will. Major life overhauls, usually as a result of someone else showing you some truth of life. It's true. You by yourself cannot learn everything. You'll have such a biased outlook on life. You need the influence of others to fully comprehend all the meanings of life. The most valueable lessons are often learned unexpectedly from others. That's why friends are so splendiferous.
Which is why I was more than a little sad tonight. It wasn't all due to alcohol consumption, though that's bad bad bad. Part of it pertained to the fact that I feel like I've outlived my usefullness to most of my friends, which can make life look even more meaningless than it already is.
Oh well. Maybe great things will come in this new year. And maybe they won't. That's the gamble. You never really know.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
Dance Fever
Okay, if this weather doesn't end, I will commit suicide. Yes. I will. It's Seattle weather- dreary, cold, foggy- suicide central. I hate it a whole lot.
The arrival of the New Year amongst this depression is making me insufferebly emo. That, combined with the fact that I haven't left my house in a week (besides chicago, where I was with my mother anyway) has given me far too much time to think about what I want and need in this coming year. Sure, we can make the typical resolutions to lose weight and find a boyfriend, etc, etc, etc. But those are things everyone does. They don't really change our life dramatically per se. Maybe if you were insanely obese or if you found your soul mate- but let's face it a) I'm not that overwieght and b) no one finds their soul mate in high school.
The real way to reinvent your life in the New Year is to find new perspective on life. The way to do that is to start thinking outside your traditional little box. It's not as easy as it seems. You have to be unconventional, do things you wouldn't normally do. That doesn't necessarily mean being non-conformist, but rather perhaps just doing something on an individual basis. And no, I do not mean shoving an ice cream cone in a kid's face and yelling, "you remember me FOREVER!" It's just about doing things, for yourself and for others, that you haven't done before. Try everything once. Maybe be spontaneous.
I guess the one thing to do this year is to make the most of it. To suck the marrow out of life. To be a transparent eyeball and see everything the world has to offer while being unaffected by the materialism and vice in the world. To honestly live everyday as if it were the last. Because who knows- in 2006, your number just might be called.
The arrival of the New Year amongst this depression is making me insufferebly emo. That, combined with the fact that I haven't left my house in a week (besides chicago, where I was with my mother anyway) has given me far too much time to think about what I want and need in this coming year. Sure, we can make the typical resolutions to lose weight and find a boyfriend, etc, etc, etc. But those are things everyone does. They don't really change our life dramatically per se. Maybe if you were insanely obese or if you found your soul mate- but let's face it a) I'm not that overwieght and b) no one finds their soul mate in high school.
The real way to reinvent your life in the New Year is to find new perspective on life. The way to do that is to start thinking outside your traditional little box. It's not as easy as it seems. You have to be unconventional, do things you wouldn't normally do. That doesn't necessarily mean being non-conformist, but rather perhaps just doing something on an individual basis. And no, I do not mean shoving an ice cream cone in a kid's face and yelling, "you remember me FOREVER!" It's just about doing things, for yourself and for others, that you haven't done before. Try everything once. Maybe be spontaneous.
I guess the one thing to do this year is to make the most of it. To suck the marrow out of life. To be a transparent eyeball and see everything the world has to offer while being unaffected by the materialism and vice in the world. To honestly live everyday as if it were the last. Because who knows- in 2006, your number just might be called.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Add a Little Love (Pillsbury)
Ahhh, it's the first night of Hanukkah! Always exciting. Currently I'm playing with the "data" feature on my phone. I've sent something like 135 texts, and recieved 146... since December 21st. Thank god for Verizon IN texting. Most of those have been to sydnie anyway. We like to text about how completely dreadful it is to be with family on holidays. At least her family allows her to consume alcohol with them. My mother give me half a glass of dry gross wine and thinks she's doing me a favour. Thanks mom. No, really, thanks. Because that's just what I want to be- sober for the holidays.
The only really worthwhile gifts I got were my digital camera and my Magic Bullet (which, by the way, makes the fluffiest damn pancakes you've ever had). I got some clothing, too, but most of the rest of the bulk of giftage was Luggage, which just isn't any fun.
Currently I'm watching American Dad, which is such a blatant Family Guy knockoff. Still funny, but sort of like the reject jokes from Family Guy.
Anyhoo, the best gifts definately wound up being from my friends, who of course know me so much better than my parents. Cait and Shannon got me (among other things) Worst Case Senario: College Survival. Which of course serves awesome purpose. Then Scott gave me the monkey that Sean nearly lost an eye over. And Trish got me a most delicious looking Vegetarian Cookbook. Sooo yeah.
Um I guess beyond that, there isn't a lot to say. I did spend a lot of fun time playing video games with Elizabeth and Schultz and Sydnie and Rory and Moran. Syd beat Rory at Soul Caliber, so if anyone out ther actually cares, be sure to rip on him for the rest of his life.
Alright. That's all.
The only really worthwhile gifts I got were my digital camera and my Magic Bullet (which, by the way, makes the fluffiest damn pancakes you've ever had). I got some clothing, too, but most of the rest of the bulk of giftage was Luggage, which just isn't any fun.
Currently I'm watching American Dad, which is such a blatant Family Guy knockoff. Still funny, but sort of like the reject jokes from Family Guy.
Anyhoo, the best gifts definately wound up being from my friends, who of course know me so much better than my parents. Cait and Shannon got me (among other things) Worst Case Senario: College Survival. Which of course serves awesome purpose. Then Scott gave me the monkey that Sean nearly lost an eye over. And Trish got me a most delicious looking Vegetarian Cookbook. Sooo yeah.
Um I guess beyond that, there isn't a lot to say. I did spend a lot of fun time playing video games with Elizabeth and Schultz and Sydnie and Rory and Moran. Syd beat Rory at Soul Caliber, so if anyone out ther actually cares, be sure to rip on him for the rest of his life.
Alright. That's all.