Apples and Oranges

There's three apples on a counter next to you and an orange far far up on the top shelf the you cannot reach.There is a red apple, a green apple, and a yellow apple. You really jsut want the orange, because you love oranges, they are your favourite. You could eat all three of those apples in no time, but then you will run out of room for the orange. But if you find a way to eat the orange, you will not be hungry for anything else ever again. You don't really like the apples. The green one is too sour, the yellow one is too exotic and different for you, and the red one is so shiny and bright ond overly sweet you want nothing to do with it.

So let's consider your options:
1) go hungry staring at that orange wishing you could have it but knowing you never could reach it no matter how hard you try- and if you do try, you will probably end up humiliating yourself by falling down without even coming close to it. And you could not take the apples because they will jsut leave you empty because you'll still want the orange.
2) forget the orange, have an apple. Maybe pick the one apple that will satisfy you most, and have that one. But you can't relaly forget the orange, can you? you want it too much.
3) forget the orange, have all the apples. Still can't really forget the orange. And all those apples will just make you want the orange more, as you get lessa nd less marginal utility from each apple.
4) search the room for other oranges. let's face it. this is a bleak and empty room. You're probably not going to find any other oranges. And even if you do, who's to say that those, too, will not be too high up to reach?

So for now you sit, empty, hungry. Staring at that orange so intently you cannot even see the apples.

I really like oranges. They have the best colour.

Now I've made myself hungry. good. job.

anyone see another option? okay.

c'est la vie

In the few humble years my presence has been graced upon this planet, I have learned one very important thing that everyone knows in their mind but refuses to accept (cognative dissonance): you always want what you can't have. The important converse to this: you never want what you can have.

Maybe it's the inevitable plight of human culture. All anyone wants is to be happy, to feel full and satisfied. But we all know that you are never satisfied.

So the challenge here? Well, we have a decision to make: do we take what we can get and stare out a window late at night, dreaming of what we can only keep in our hearts, wishing on a star that cannot hear us? Or do we chase our dream, that fallen star that is too far away to catch, and just hope and believe that if we try hard enough we can make that diving save and grab that star before it disappears forever? And who's to say that if, on the oddest chance we catch that star, we won't look up and realise the heavens are endless, and that there's always another star to catch?

And here's another thought- what if the one thing we hope and strives for comes true, but not because you caught the star but because it fell for you- what if you are just someone's settling, the last resort for a person. Are you really happy then? Maybe for a while, but no one wants to jsut satisfy another's dreams- they want to fufill and surpass all things in the other's imagination.

So in the end, no one can really end up happy. Even if you chase your dreams, there is no garuntee they will come true (no matter what Mr. Pohlman tries to tell you). And who's to say that once they come true, it would be worthwhile.

The risk involved is so high. No wonder people are afraid- it's not jsut failure they fear, but they fear the lack of fufilment they might feel even if they accomplish their dreams. So no one really knows what they want either.

No matter what you do, you end up with a broken heart.

For these reasons, I hate life.

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it any where
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, Louder And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think i might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice I
'll be right beside you dear
Louder, Louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Slower, slower
We don't have time for that
All I want's to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart, my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if its just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

I like that song. I kind of suck at interpreting poetry (yeah stupid brit lit) but that song has a special meaning to me (for whatever reason, I don't know) and when I hear it I feel everyting at once. I'm adork. It's okay I know.

So I'll just be happy hear, dreaming of what I cannot have and trying to decide where to settle in reality.