Makin' a List

Proof that I could be as badass as Uma Thurman in Kill Bill

1. My favourite belt was stolen from someone my freshman year, and I've never returned it
2. I once side-slapped someone who was trying to hug me
3. If I was on Room Raiders, I would hide a snake in one of my drawers just to scare someone shitless. Granted, it would probably be a garden snake, and not a Black Mambo, but I bet it would still scare them.
4. I helped someone cheat on a spanish test once. Okay, I gave them a few answers while getting my Brit Lit book out of my locker. Still counts.
5. I've got the fasted guns in the west. A.K.A. I could whip your sorry ass at minesweeper.
6. I have stolen governament property and relocated it to an undisclosed location. A.K.A. I, along with my favourite accomplices, Elizabeth and Kevin, stole a construction barrel from the Avon Lake library and left it in a driveway.
7. I smoke probably more than a pack a day. Okay, it's all secondhand... but hey, makes me sound B.A.
8. I cut myself. (while working outdoors on a fort and running into pricker bushes that really know how to spring up on you.)
9. I have files proving me to be an accomplished stealer. (illegally downloaded music)
10. I am so not afraid to kick balls. Soccer balls.

That's right, bitches. Don't effing mess with me.