mmmmmmmmmhm, so just now, my dad was attempting to talk to me (which never works out well for him, mind) because I was cornered in the kitchen (baking cookies) (or eating dough, whatever) and he was all like "So what did you think of The Da Vinci Code?" and I said, "OMG! It was sweet!" and he got all serious and was like "you don't really believe christ was married, do you?" and I was like ::pause:: "nooooo..........But all the research was positively amazing!" While thinking to myself "um, news flash, I can hardly believe in God, let alone Jesus, and that book was marvelous to me!" mmmmmmhm, if only one day I can say it to him! Hey, maybe that's how I'll kill him- a faith crisis! ::takes over world (or just father) with atheist thoughts:: mwahahahaha!
TODAY IS GRAND!!!!! I'm off to eat cookies outdoors while reading and sipping water. ::melts:: ah, I love spring! And better yet, tomorrow its supposed to go down to forty! With Snow! Snow and sun within two days of the two......oh, and the pretty wind, too! ::is overwhelmed::
yo ho
yo ho
a (science-olympiad, atheist, weather freak) pirate's life for
~me
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I feel like Julie- she neglected to take her ADD meds today....
Friday, March 05, 2004
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
So, today I was thinking- and isn't it interesting that "it sucks" and "it blows" mean the same thing?
Ghhhhhaaaaa! I am really, really depressed. I'm feeling sick, now, probably b/c I am depressed. I am unmotivated, lazy, incompetient, and above all, I need Zoloft. Or maybe I should seriously think about seeing a shrink. I have a friend who might know of one to see....
But see, the thing is, the problem with seeing a shrink is that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just in a bad, bad mood. And It's my own fault- its partly how I feel about myself (which is bad) and partly just how life is right now (which is also bad, but not that bad- really, its just extremely boring) And I want to feel good about myself, but thanks to outside forces, I feel like I never will b/c:
a) I am not anorexicaly skinny
b) I do not have like a beautiful face or anything
c) I do not have a boyfriend, or even guys who r interested in me
d) I am soooooooooo failing out of school (okay, not really, but I am losing interest in it)
e) I never have the right thing to say, and ofter make a fool of myself
Okay, I know they are vain, stupid reasons, and they shouldn't matter to me, but right now they do. And like a week ago, they didn't. And now they do, a lot, and it is really depressing me. It is a little better to write about it I guess, but not that much so...
I guess I'll go.
yo ho
yo ho
whatever
Ghhhhhaaaaa! I am really, really depressed. I'm feeling sick, now, probably b/c I am depressed. I am unmotivated, lazy, incompetient, and above all, I need Zoloft. Or maybe I should seriously think about seeing a shrink. I have a friend who might know of one to see....
But see, the thing is, the problem with seeing a shrink is that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just in a bad, bad mood. And It's my own fault- its partly how I feel about myself (which is bad) and partly just how life is right now (which is also bad, but not that bad- really, its just extremely boring) And I want to feel good about myself, but thanks to outside forces, I feel like I never will b/c:
a) I am not anorexicaly skinny
b) I do not have like a beautiful face or anything
c) I do not have a boyfriend, or even guys who r interested in me
d) I am soooooooooo failing out of school (okay, not really, but I am losing interest in it)
e) I never have the right thing to say, and ofter make a fool of myself
Okay, I know they are vain, stupid reasons, and they shouldn't matter to me, but right now they do. And like a week ago, they didn't. And now they do, a lot, and it is really depressing me. It is a little better to write about it I guess, but not that much so...
I guess I'll go.
yo ho
yo ho
whatever
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Welcome, oh children to the hell that never ends!
Erm, so I have recently returned from my pimp drive around North Olmstead. I took Colleen and her cousin Lauren and Rachel Smith, and some otehr kid around the place, were they caught up on all the people they knew in common, and I was profoundly lost. But it was still fun!
And I did something else.....went shopping for something that is.......and I can't talk bout it till Friday. Mum's the word!
And I got a letter from a stalker. It has my address on it, but no return, and all it had was a picture of my fish bowl. Thats it. And it wasn't a full picture, even. It is maybe 2 inches by 3/4 inches. Crazy. If you have any information about this, please contact me via however.
yo ho
yo ho
a (driving, confused, weird) pirate's life for
~me
Erm, so I have recently returned from my pimp drive around North Olmstead. I took Colleen and her cousin Lauren and Rachel Smith, and some otehr kid around the place, were they caught up on all the people they knew in common, and I was profoundly lost. But it was still fun!
And I did something else.....went shopping for something that is.......and I can't talk bout it till Friday. Mum's the word!
And I got a letter from a stalker. It has my address on it, but no return, and all it had was a picture of my fish bowl. Thats it. And it wasn't a full picture, even. It is maybe 2 inches by 3/4 inches. Crazy. If you have any information about this, please contact me via however.
yo ho
yo ho
a (driving, confused, weird) pirate's life for
~me
Monday, March 01, 2004
My dairy-based confectionate bevereage brings all those of the male gender to the grassy courtyard area, and they state that it is better than my opponent's. Indeed, they are very correct in this assertion. I might be capable of instructing you on this procedure, but I would be obligated to have you pay for this lesson.
Oh, yes. Sophmore dance is proof that a picture is worth a thousand words...and I have a dozen or so. I hate myself. I am feeling stupid, useless, ugly, and uninteresting, or just to generaly sum it up, I am feeling unattractive, and its making me mopey and dapressed, and I hate myself just that much more when I'm this way. So it's like one of those vicious cycle things. I hate it.
It's especialy annoying because, if you'll recall, about a month ago I was in a remarkably good mood for no reason at all. Further proof that the wheel just can't stay at the top. maybe it will spin itself back up -ooooooh, I love this- ::is distracted by linkin park:: by spring break. Until then, I'm no fun at all.
Shoot me.
yo ho
yo ho
a (depressed, useless, low on endorphins) pirate's life for
~me
Oh, yes. Sophmore dance is proof that a picture is worth a thousand words...and I have a dozen or so. I hate myself. I am feeling stupid, useless, ugly, and uninteresting, or just to generaly sum it up, I am feeling unattractive, and its making me mopey and dapressed, and I hate myself just that much more when I'm this way. So it's like one of those vicious cycle things. I hate it.
It's especialy annoying because, if you'll recall, about a month ago I was in a remarkably good mood for no reason at all. Further proof that the wheel just can't stay at the top. maybe it will spin itself back up -ooooooh, I love this- ::is distracted by linkin park:: by spring break. Until then, I'm no fun at all.
Shoot me.
yo ho
yo ho
a (depressed, useless, low on endorphins) pirate's life for
~me