Go off and say you're happy
There's nothing wrong with being alone
But's you're never by yourself
When your demons are there beside you

Take everybody's problems
Make them into your own
Then throw a few more at them
And see if they can cope

Stand by yourself
Whatch as the people live
You can try to live those other lives
But you won't remember how

Take everybody's problems
Make them into your own
Then throw a few more at them
And see if they will stay

No one will reach out to you
And they won't see your shadow
Standing there beside them
As you try to drag them under

Take everbody's problems
Make them into your own
Then throw a few more at them
And see if they will care

You're stuck in the hole you burried for yourself
And there's no coming to the surface


~Tricia, what have you done to me? This song isn't for you though, don't worry

Tricia made me do it:

You sit there and you watch
As nothing floats on by
You dream of other things
for a long, long time
But nothing floats on by

Time is there its killing you
You don't feel it though because
It does so much too slowly
So you wait
For it to pass you by

I realize time goes by slowly
The clock won't tick
But it's been hours
The seconds go to slowly
The night never comes

Time is there its killing you
You don't feel it though because
It does so much too slowly
So you wait
For it to pass you by

The seconds melt, the minutes glide
Dragging you with them
Their current rushing over head
But you don't see them
Cuz you can't feel it

Time is there...Killing you
Don't turn your back or you will miss it
It kills you must too slowly
So you wait
For it to pass you by

For just one second you leave it behind
You stop waiting
And it passes you by

So, about a year ago today (okay, a year and a day) I started keeping this little mind outpour thingy-ma-bobber. And look where its gotten me.
No fucking where.
I have to go shower. I stupidly went for an anger outlet, and ended up puking up pie. Typical life. well, if I'm lucky, I might lose a few pounds for sophomore dance! Riiiight. No one let me eat carbs for the next two weeks, okay? Atkins for me! (hahaha, who's on Atkins?)
::ill::
I'm tired of being sick.
Still a little fucker. Shoot me.

yo ho
yo ho
a (slightly sea-sick, if ya know what I mean) pirate's life for
~me

I am so retarded.
How could anyone be a stupid as I?
Here I am, complaining about how guys don't like me, and I just accidentaly wound up with two Sophomore dance dates. WHAT IS MY ISSUE?
Not that this means I am atractive. BOth of these boys are just anxious to go to the dance, and I happen to be an outlet. But Travis is so CUTE, and this danny seems so.....ghetto. But what if he's cute? Well, since they are cute, they won't wanna go out with me, but you know, jsut the dance night......
I am such a little fucker. Shoot me, I deserve to die.
I hate myself.

yo ho
yo ho
a (confused, double crossing, man-whore) pirate's life for
~me

Okay, I realize as I write this that I am being a) superficial b) stupid and c) self-centered (ah, the three S's) but here goes:
I really want a boyfriend.
Okay, come on- is it that I am sooooooooo unattractive that no guys will come within three feet of me without being repulsed? I mean, I'm not that bad, am I? and doesn't personality count for something?
I know I'm being retarded, but I just really, really want to believe that guys can like me as more than a friend. (or, hell, maybe right now I should settle for just friends) but gha! I hate being fat and ugly and boring and stuff.
The other problem is the "be yourself" thing. I am really begining to believe that guys do not like it when you're "yourself". You must have to be a whore or something to be attractive to the male gender. Its not like Im looking for a permanent relationship- I'm not even getting married or anything. (NEVER) I just want to feel appealing to those of the opposite sex. Is this so wrong?
I hate myself.

yo ho
yo ho
a (fat, ugly, un-attractive in any way) pirate's life for
~me