Things are better if I say...so long and goodnight

I suppose it's better to be an annoying loser than nothing at all.

You know what? I am going to miss them. I cannot lie. I wish I wouldn't- but parting is such sweet sorrow.

Were the last five-ish months wasted? Perhaps, but I don't think so. I think it was good to have them, even if the time was not long. I had fun, and I think they did too. Maybe.

If only it weren't for the lies. Because I understand now that it was the lies that tore it apart. The lies to eachother and the lies to ourselves. And there's no pretending we all didn't lie to eachother. ALL of us. Because we did, and that is part of it. The other part of it is that it was never meant to be at all.

I don't want to let it go, though. I mean, I know, that's stupid and stubborn, and isn't going to get me anywhere. But it was an adventure. The adventure I wish for everytime the clock reads 11:11. An adventure without a happy ending. Do be careful what you wish for. Because you wish for the beginning and not the end.

It's not that big of a deal though. I mean, yes, here I am, minus several peole I once called friends. But people change. And you get to know them. And you realize that it's no loss, and that things are better being without. Life will go on. I'm not bitter. Because I've already made these mistakes, and you know what?

Next time, I won't make them.

Next time, everything will be the truth. Not the harsh, blunt truth. But the nice, kind of muted one that can make everything seem okay even if it's not. But never lies.

Never. Lies.

Time stands still. Just for now. Tomorrow it will rush forward, leaving these ashes in it's wake.

And everything will be better.

yo ho
yo ho
an (honest) pirate's life for
~me