Baked Beans and Lard

So what I really should be doing now is showering, but I felt the need to write about last night while the smell is still fresh. Oh, so fresh. And while my jim-jams are still soaking.

Last night we had a scrimmage. I played with JV- almost the whole game in fact because Summer played field, and Brigit isn't really ready to play yet. Anyway, they all did v. well for their like second day as a team together- they won like 3 or 4 to 2 (neither goals were my bad), whereas varsity- not so hot. (which translates to a really painful practice today) After the scrimmage, mother took me to Panera, and then I came home and watched various things until 12:30, when the Breakfast Club was over. Then I went to sleep. For about fifteen minutes.

Until people started barging into my room, brandishing knives and donned in Freddy masks and the whatnot.

I really thought it was Megan. Seriously. I'm not sure who the person who woke me up actually was, but I completely though it was Megan Dever. Then more people started filing in. I thought it was Elizabeth, but then I was confused because there were a lot of people. I thought maybe Lyla was there, too. It was crazy. So with this thought in mind, I proceeded to yell at my "friends" for waking me up right after I fell asleep, and telling them to let me go back to bed. I couldn't see anything, because my contacts weren't in, and I was highly confused because everyone's voices sounded different. Then all of a sudden, I saw Hannah Smith, and I was like, "ohhhhhhh, the soccer team" and kind of got up compliantly and left with them. I piled into Vacha's car with a brown bag on my head, and we head off towards the Hennesy's. On the way, Cara told me that they went to the wrong house (which I now know was the Connor's) and that when the lady (mrs. connor) answered the door, they asked her, "where's Stef?" and she was like "stef who?" (don't ask me why Mrs. Connor answered the door for a bunch of freaks in masks wielding knives) and then I guess she had Scruffy with her, and she was like "what's that on my foot- did you guys- did my dog throw up again?" (I guess that mongrel threw up all over her foot) and Cara said she just burst out laughing and Jenna was like, "sorry Ma'am" and they moved on to my house. Anyway, so they got Hennesy, and the Blakes, and then we went to Moira's house (I had no idea where I was thanks to that bag on my head and the lack of contacts. I really hate not knowing where I am located- how could I run away?)

Anyway, so then Summer, Katie, Sarah, Coddie, Ginley, Megan, and I (I think that's all of us) had to stand in a line outside and receive punishment for making varsity. Punishment entailed: baked beans (I hate them. Now more than ever) Ketchup and mustard (I will never look at condiments again) lard (not fun to pull out of your hair in chunks) pies made of shaving cream and dog food (my eyes were pasted together) salsa, flour, eggs, syrup, and possibly other stuff that I'm not sure I even want to know about. Then they hosed us down (with lovely and refreshing cold water). After we changed (yes, mother had a bag packed, all ready to go) and hung out in Moira's family room, watching 13 going on 30 and watching Vacha play PS2 soccer. I think I went to bed around 5, 5:30. We woke up at 9:30. And then Vacha took me home.

So basically, once again, like that time that my retarded friends threw a surprise party for me, I was completely surprised. But this time was a little different, since I was basically not scared or anything, just really, really confused. I swear, my first instinct was like "Megan Dever, you fuckhead". Honestly.What is my mental blockage?

Anyway, so now it's nearly 12, and I still haven't bathed, as the second I got home I told Elizabeth about it, and then talked to Megan about getting my pants back to a normal colour. They currently are a faded yellow shade, which I suppose is better than the fluorescent yellow they were last night. And the smell. Oh, God, the smell. I'm not sure what's worse- the baked beans or the ketchup/shaving cream sort of combo. I was so nauseas- Katie Blake and I were gagging next to each other, in between trying to wipe some of the crap off on each other.

But all in all, it was fun, entertaining, and harmless, and unlike Elizabeth or Megan I don't really care about my hair or getting disturbed in my sleep or anything. Plus they didn't T.P. my house (I think b/c they lost time with the whole "going to the wrong house" thing) so my dad has no reason to shit a brick (since his lawn is far more precious than me- you know, I can get attacked by mustard, fine, but toilet paper? this one time, when our next door neighbours got T.P.ed he was so fucking pissed. And it wasn't even my house) And now, I'm going to take a shower, because my hair is crusty. That's sick, man.

And practice will be hard tonight. Oh, hell.

yo ho
yo ho
a (completely and extremely smelly and disgusting) pirate's life for
~me